Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace
by NikkylovesBD
Summary: An invitation caused her world to crumble. A far away world so far from the pains of her past she stayed there for 8 yrs. She had two choices, she could go back and face the reality or she could stay far away and do what she did best, hide. Rated plus 17
1. Chapter 1

_My new story :-) It takes place one year after the series finale. Mostly B/D but I am sure everyone will show up here and there. Enjoy!_

_**Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace**_

**Chapter 1 What Is Real And Just A Dream**

Brenda walked into her apartment building with her friend Beth. She laughed as Beth explained her blind date she had the night before. Brenda unlocked her mail box and grabbed her mail. They walked up the 2 floor walk up to their flats. As Brenda came to her door, she stuck her key in unlocking it.

"So…then what happened?" Brenda opened her door slightly and looked at Beth who was in front of her door next door.

Beth shrugged, "I shagged him." she smiled.

Brenda laughed, "Oh wow…Beth…you have problems. You just spent ten minutes telling me how much of a…wanker, I think you said exactly." she teased.

Beth laughed, "Well excuse me, one of us should be shagging and darling it obviously isn't you."

Brenda rolled her eyes, "That's my cue." she opened her door further.

"Ha ha I thought so…bye." Beth opened her front door.

Brenda smirked as she shook her head. She tossed her keys on the side table she had next to her door and started flipping through her mail. She came across a odd shaped square envelope. It was an ivory color and had a shimmer to it. She looked at it as she walked to her kitchen table setting down the rest of her mail. Brenda walked over to her couch and as she lowered to it, she looked at the front of it and read, Miss. Brenda Walsh & Guest, she ran her finger across the flap, leaning back, taking her feet and resting them on the coffee table. She pulled out the contents of the envelope as a small piece of tissue fell to her lap. She looked curiously down at it moving the other small pointless piece of tissue from in front of it. Brenda stared down at it. She felt her chest tighten and her breath became shallow as she tried to breathe through it. She had to read it again.

_Kelly Marlene Taylor _

_and _

_Dylan Michael McKay _

_request the honor of your presence _

_at their marriage _

_on __Saturday, the twenty first of April _

_two thousand one _

_at three o'clock in the afternoon _

_Mount Zion Church _

_436 South Beverly Drive_

_Beverly Hills, CA 90210_

Brenda looked up from her worst nightmare and stared straight ahead. _That son of a bitch _she murmured as she shook her head. No tears came to her eyes, no sadness came over her at all at that moment she was completely numb…then moments later it hit her. She crumbled the envelope that she held in her left hand and squeezed her eyes shut. Brenda began to cry softly as she read the invitation over and over. _Request the honor of your presence, request the honor_…_at their marriage_…Brenda shook her head she was driving herself crazy. Kelly and Dylan…were getting married. It felt like only yesterday her and Dylan were fighting about marriage and now…three years later, he was marrying her. Brenda closed her eyes and flashed back.

_As Brenda and Dylan finished making love, he groaned softly kissing her deeply as Brenda moved from on top of him and settled on his side. She cuddled close to him feeling his arm wrap around her as she lay her arm gently across his chest. They lay silently for several minutes. _

"_What are you thinking about babe?" Dylan said with his eyes closed and a perma grin embossed on his face as he slowly caressed her side._

_Brenda lifted her head off his chest and rested her chin on her hand, she smiled as he opened his eyes looking at her still with the goofy grin showing strong. "How much I missed you. And how happy I am that you are back." She leaned up a little giving him a soft kiss. _

"_It's good to be back…and…I missed you too." he said softly._

_Brenda kept her closeness, "How was Iris and Erica?"_

_Dylan nervously shifted and looked away quickly. "Dylan? Was everything ok with them?" Brenda saw his demeanor change._

_Dylan lifted his arm off her and nodded, "Oh yeah…they were good." He sat up, leaning his back against his pillows nervously playing with his hands. "So when do Brandon and Kelly get here or are they meeting us in Corsica?" Dylan changed the subject._

_Brenda lifted her eyebrows, "Oh my God Dylan…I totally forgot to tell you. My mom called me this this afternoon before you got home, Brandon and Kelly didn't get married. They called off the wedding." _

"_Your kidding me…why?" Dylan said shocked._

_Brenda shook her head, "I don't know…my mom said they had their reception and everything."_

"_Wow…that's crazy." Dylan looked down and took a deep breath. _

"_I know." Brenda shook her head sadly, "It's a shame, I wanted them to work out. I thought they were adorable…they seemed to be really in love." Brenda grabbed the sheets covering herself as she sat up next to him._

"_Yeah." Dylan breathed out, "Maybe they just decided marriage wasn't for them." Dylan shrugged._

"_Likely excuse." Brenda looked over at him with a smile. _

_Dylan smiled back, "Ha ha you think your cute right now don't you?"_

_Brenda leaned forward letting the sheet drop, "I am cute." she leaned forward and raised an eyebrow as she noticed Dylan's eyes travel down to her chest._

_Dylan smirked taking a deep breath, "You are…more than cute…come here."_

_They shifted laying back down on their sides. Dylan brought the sheets over their heads as they kissed deeply._

Brenda came too, she brought her fingers to her cheek as she brushed the stray tears. She looked down at the invitation and brought the reply card closer.

_Kindly Reply by_

_March 1, 2001_

_M______________________

_Will Attend_______________

_Unable To Attend__________

Brenda laid her head back on her couch and stared up at the ceiling. Why did they even invite her? She hadn't talked to Kelly in years and her and Dylan didn't end on good terms, she wasn't even invited to David and Donna's wedding. Then she thought about who's idea it was to actually invite her in the first place. Was Kelly trying to rub it in her face? Bury the hatchet? Or was Dylan trying to get closure? Was Brandon invited? Was he actually going? He was just as heartbroken to find out they were back together. A million questions ran through her mind. She took a deep breath, getting up off the couch as she moved her way to the kitchen. She set the invitation down on the counter and went into her refrigerator grabbing an opened bottle of Pinot Grigio, she grabbed a wine glass out of her cupboard glancing at the invite again as she poured her a glass. She moved over to her stereo and hit power. She took a deep breath staring down at it as she brought her wine glass to her lips. She walked over to the counter and picked it up again. It was not Dylan's style at all. It was ugly, Brenda thought. It had a mocha bottom layer and shimmering champagne top layer. It had a hideous floral blossom design. Their initials a big scripted K in the top right hand corner and a equally big scripted D in the bottom left hand corner. Brenda took another long sip of her wine setting it down. She took a pen out of her drawer and wrote her reply. She slid it into the envelope licking it closed. She was again numb as she set it down on her kitchen counter, grabbing her glass of wine and making her way into the living room away from the nightmare. Brenda sat emotionless on her couch again grasping her wine like it was about to run away. She listened to the radio silently as the tears ran down her cheeks again. _Here I go again_, she thought, but this time it was different. This time it was real. This time is was really over. Brenda stared straight ahead almost weak and listened to the song by Lifehouse blast through her flat.

_I can't be losing sleep over this, no, I can't  
And now I cannot stop pacing  
Give me a few hours I'll have this all sorted out  
If my mind would just stop racing_

_Cause I cannot stand still  
I can't be this unsturdy  
This cannot be happening_

_This is over my head  
But underneath my feet  
Cause by tomorrow morning  
I'll have this thing beat_

_And everything will be back  
To the way that it was  
I wish that it was just that easy_

_Cause I'm waiting for tonight  
Then waiting for tomorrow  
And I'm somewhere in between_

_What is real and just a dream  
What is real and just a dream  
What is real and just a dream_

_Would you catch me if I fall  
Out of what I fell in  
Don't be surprised if I collapse  
Down at your feet again  
I don't want to run away from this  
I know that I just don't need this_

_Cause I cannot stand still  
I can't be this unsturdy  
This cannot be happening_

_Cause I'm waiting for tonight  
Then waiting for tomorrow  
And I'm somewhere in between_

_What is real and just a dream_

**

Dylan sat on him and Kelly's couch at the beach apartment. He glanced up from his book and glanced at his fiancé as she sat on the floor at the coffee table. She was silently going through rsvp's sorting them into two piles. Guests who were coming and guests who were not. She raised her head and noticed him looking at her.

She smiled sweetly, "What?"

Dylan shook his head, "Nothing…what are you doing?"

"I am going through our replies, so far there are more people coming." she said with a teasing smile

"How many?" Dylan said holding back his aggravation.

Kelly looked down at the pile, "So far…about 150 people said yes."

Dylan took a deep breath, "150 people? How many people did you invite?"

Kelly sighed, "Dylan…I know you said small but there are people that I had to invite, it won't be over 200...I promise." she looked back down and continued to go through her stacks.

Dylan shook his head and returned to his book. Whatever Kelly wanted he tried to give her. He wanted a small wedding, she wanted a big wedding. He wanted a small private ceremony on the beach or outdoors, Kelly wanted to get married in a church. Everything Dylan had wanted he didn't get except one. About a month ago as him and Kelly made his guest list, which included a total of 15 to 20 people maximum there was one person he added to the list that caused a crisis. Her name was Brenda Walsh and Kelly had a conniption. She had no problem adding Brandon and Mr. and Mrs. Walsh to the list but Brenda was a never going to happen. He finally got his way but it took some serious ass kissing.

"_I told you she is my friend." Dylan screamed._

"_Yeah a friend that you have slept with numerous times…and lived with. Why would I want Brenda there? I haven't talked to her in years…and supposedly you haven't either."_

"_I am not going to do this right now, its my list, I am inviting her. Stop being such a pain in the ass, we have known her forever."_

_Kelly fumed, "A pain in the ass? If I am such a pain in the ass then why are you with me? Why don't you just run back to London like you do best and that way you wont need an excuse like our wedding to see her." Kelly yelled as she turned stomping to their bedroom slamming the door. _

_Dylan brought both hands to his head as he gritted his teeth turning toward the back door, slamming it behind him and taking off._

"Oh…Brandon is coming." Kelly smiled as she looked at Dylan bringing him back to the present, then looking back down.

Dylan nodded, "Oh good…what about Jim and Cindy?"

Kelly slowly raised her head, "You mean Brenda?"

Dylan wasn't going to go there again. The truth was he hadn't talked to Brenda since they had broken up and they didn't exactly end on the best terms, he couldn't even explain why he wanted to invite her, maybe he wanted to bury the hatchet? Maybe he missed their friendship? Or maybe he just felt like a total prick inviting her whole family and not her. "I meant Jim and Cindy." Dylan nodded his head and smiled at her.

"Yes…the Walsh's are coming…and…no reply from Bren yet. Then again who knows when she even got the invite, she's pretty far away."

Dylan nodded, "True." he agreed and went back to his book.

Kelly stared at him, she tried to read him but he did a good job hiding what was going through that complicated head of his. She hesitated but it just came out, "Why did you and Bren break up?" she asked innocently.

Dylan slowly lifted his head, "What?"

"Why did you guys split up? When you came back to Beverly Hills you said why you came back here but you never said why you broke up."

"It was a long time ago." Dylan said looking back at his book.

"Dylan? What's the big secret?"

Dylan smirked as he shook his head, "There is no big secret, it just didn't work out."

Kelly got up and walked over to him. She watched as he kept his head in his book. She climbed in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Come on…enlighten me, something had to happen."

Dylan closed his book and looked at her, he smirked, "Why the third degree?"

Kelly smirked back playfully moving closer to him, "No third degree" Kelly giggled as he tickled her.

Dylan leaned in and kissed her hard. Anything to change that subject. He dropped his book to the floor as they did what they did best. Skipped the chit chat and moved to their bedroom. It beats talking to Kelly about an old relationship, especially Brenda. Talking about Brenda…never ended well no matter what, no matter how playful Kelly was being.

_So what do you think of the new idea? I have read a few stories with this timeline but came up with this idea the other day and decided to go with it. I don't know how long it will be or if it will even be calling me like the others do but we will see. And no I haven't forgotten about my others. Love Letters and Little Fish are still very much active. Actually Little Fish is almost done. Let me know if its interesting enough and if I should continue. Thanks for giving it a chance, and OH HELL NO it will not be all K/D…over my dead body. *grins and bats' her eyes* Oh and the song the chapter was named after and what Brenda was listening to was Somewhere in Between by Lifehouse. It helps to listen while you read, it makes it hit ya a little harder._


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for giving this story a chance and thank you for the reviews. Just so everyone knows, the K/D scenes are nauseating for me too. Actually almost excruciating that's how much I hate them. Don't worry I will keep the "happier" non problematic scenes to a minimum and detail free. I mean I would hope you guys know me better than that. Don't expect to see many "happy" scenes with them though._

**Chapter 2 Je peux pas m'arrêter de penser à toi.**

Dylan took his wetsuit down exposing his chest as he began rinsing himself off with the hose after a long day of surfing. He closed his eyes leaning into the spray letting the water run down his face and hair. He shook a little as beads of water flung from his hair as he moved the hose across his chest and down his back. Dylan slowly leaned down turning the knob on the hose, turning it tightly. He grabbed his surfboard and carefully made his way up the spiral staircase to the balcony. He leaned his surfboard against the railing grabbing a towel that he had hanging. Wrapping the towel around his waist he pulled the wetsuit down his legs and hung it out to dry. Dylan made his way into the apartment noticing the mail sitting on the floor in front of the front door. He leaned over picking it up quickly flipping through it stopping at about 5 smaller envelopes he knew were relies to the wedding. They had been getting them for weeks and normally he left them for Kelly but the return address caught his eye. There was only one person who lived in London. Dylan stared down at it and tossed the rest of the mail on the table. He ran his finger under the flap and pulled the reply card out. He sighed sadly reading it.

_Kindly Reply by_

_March 1, 2001_

_Miss Brenda Walsh_________

_Will Attend_______________

_Unable To Attend____X_____

_Much luck to both of you._

Dylan took a deep breath and looked up from the reply. He knew deep down she wouldn't come. He hadn't seen or talked to her in three years, why would she come? He set down the reply with the rest of the mail and headed to the shower. As he washed the rest of the salt water and sand that the hose missed he thought about her. Dylan wasn't sure why he wanted to invite Brenda and he didn't know why he had fought so hard to get her invited. It just seemed like the right thing to do. No matter what had happened between them, Brenda was like family to him. He cared about her, he cared what she thought and it had been so long since he had seen her, part of him wanted to know if she was ok. In a messed up way, it was his way of contacting her, his way of checking up on her and a small part wanted to know if she had moved on from him. It was selfish Dylan knew that but now that he knew she wasn't coming, none of those questions were answered and he was even more obsessed with it. Dylan closed his eyes rinsing the shampoo out of his hair as the past came back.

_Dylan leaned against the doorframe of the dressing room with a smile. He looked at her as she brushed through her hair looking at herself in the mirror. She caught his refection and smiled back. She set her brush down and turned slightly._

"_Hey you." Brenda said softly._

"_Hi." Dylan said low and raspy._

"_So? How did you like the play?"_

"_Honestly?" Dylan walked into the dressing room toward her station. Everyone had left and since it was their last performance most of the cast had headed over to the Green Pub next door for food and drinks to celebrate. "I loved it." He said with a smile. He bent down kissing her softly._

"_Good." She smirked turning back toward the mirror. She began wiping her face toning down the stage makeup, "You want to go next door for some food or you want to just head home?" she asked not really making eye contact with him. _

"_Actually…I have something else in mind." Dylan reached into his jacket and pulled out a red satin piece of fabric. _

_Brenda looked at him through the mirror again curiously. Dylan gently brought the blind fold over her eyes, securing it tightly around her head._

_Brenda brought her hand to her eye as she smiled as she felt him lean down from behind her and start to kiss her neck, "Dylan…no…we can not have sex in this dressing room…but the blind fold is new and semi tempting." She laughed at herself. _

_Dylan chuckled, "Ha…that isn't out of the question but no…come on." Dylan leaned down and took her hands. _

_She stood up with a smile. "Dylan…where are we going…this is scary."_

"_Do you trust me?" Dylan leaned in making her jump as he whispered close to her ear._

_Brenda laughed, "Like this…not really." She joked. _

_Dylan wrapped his arm around her waist and laid his hand on her hip, Come on…slowly…ok." Dylan began directing her._

"_Dylan." Brenda whined, "What is this?"_

_Dylan smiled, "You'll see…we are turning the corner." _

"_Ahhh…where the hell are we going?" she kept her smile afraid of what came next, "I hate this."_

_Dylan laughed, "You love it…ok…steps."_

"_Steps? Are you kidding me?" Brenda held out her hand to feel around._

"_Ok…in front of you, step up." Dylan looked at the ground as he directed her._

_Brenda whined, "Uh…shit." Brenda stepped up and almost lost her balance. Brenda laughed harder, "Yeah…trust me my ass."_

_Dylan laughed with her, "Sorry…wait stop." Dylan moved his arm under the back of her knees and supported her back as he picked her up._

"_So much better." Brenda smirked as she got a lift up the 4 steps._

_Dylan set her down, "Ok stay right there…don't move." Dylan leaned in and gave her a soft peck making her jump again. He motioned to his little helpers in the control room as the lights went out. They set the timer and quietly snuck out locking up as they left. "Ready?" he said softly. _

_Brenda's smile widened, "Yes." she said softly._

_Dylan carefully untied her blind fold and stood behind her. Brenda looked around not being able to see a thing because it was pitch black. _

_As Brenda was about to question what she was suppose to be looking at, the timer turned on the stage lights. Brenda's mouth dropped as she looked around. "How..how did you?" she couldn't get the words out._

_Dylan smirked as he moved around her walking to the middle of the stage. _

_Brenda stood stunned, "It's Paris." she breathed out. "Jardin du Luxembourg." Brenda slowly brought her fingers to her lips as she exhaled. As she looked around, Dylan had somehow changed the set completely from how it was set up from her play. He duplicated one of the most romantic parks in Paris. He had the backdrop of the Luxembourg Palace, the flowers, the trees. He had a look a like bench they had sat on, a blanket spread out on the synthetic grass, the lamp posts, a gazebo…every detail of that day was recreated perfectly…Brenda had never seen anything like it. "Dylan." she whispered as her eyes began to tear up. _

"_What can I say…I had a little help from the set designer." he smiled at her as he gazed into her eyes. _

_Brenda just shook her head still too shocked to move. "A little?" she teased._

_Dylan walked a bit closer to her, "Do you remember what happened on this trip? What happened in this park?" he kept his stare._

_It was impossible to control the few tears that had ran down her cheek, she was so overwhelmed, she nodded slowly._

_Dylan had moved closer to her and took her hand pulling her gently to the middle of the stage and over to the bench. Brenda slowly sat down and looked over at him. She finally gave him a small smile. The significance of this place had been very special to them. Dylan had been staying with Brenda after first arriving in London. They had stayed platonic only sharing friendly hugs and looks as Dylan told Brenda about Toni and about his battle of drugs and alcohol that first year without her. One day Dylan walked in with an energy she hadn't seen since he had gotten there. He told her to pack her bags for a long weekend, that he wanted to go to Paris and Brenda was coming with him. As they walked around and shared sights that both had experienced alone but always wanted to experience together, their weekend had brought them here to Le Jardin du Luxembourg. _

"_It's where you kissed me for the first time after coming out here." Brenda kept her stare as she spoke softly._

"_It was the beginning…a new beginning for us…we got back together." Dylan added as he reached under the bench and pulled out a picnic basket. He opened it pulling out a bottle of sparkling cider, pouring her a glass. He handed it to her with a small smile._

_Brenda brought the glass to her lips as she took a sip. "We have been though a lot together Bren…and these past three years being with you again have been the best time in my life. I wanted you to know how much I appreciate everything you do for me. I honestly don't think I could have gotten through it without you." Dylan brought his hand to the side of her face, "I love you Bren." he said seriously._

_Brenda leaned into his hand and gave him a nod, "I love you too." _

_She shook her head as she looked around at the stage set up. She turned and looked away from him as tiny lights sparkled in the fake trees, "This is incredible." Brenda said noticing the small details here and there. As she turned to face him he wasn't sitting next to her anymore, he was kneeling in front of her holding a small red velvet box. _

_Brenda looked at him and swallowed hard as her glass fell to the floor beside her shattering, he opened it facing her, "Bren…will you marry me?"_

"_What?" she said confused, "You said…" she was speechless again._

"_I know what I said, I know we have talked about this and we have argued about marriage but I want to marry you. I can't picture my future with anyone else. When I look at my life, you are the only thing I got right, you are the only person that got me."_

Dylan turned in the shower as he heard Kelly call out that she was home taking him from his flashback. He sighed and caught himself rolling his eyes. He was taken back with his uncaring attitude as he heard her again.

"Yeah Kel…I am in the shower." he yelled back.

"Where's the mail?" she called out.

"On the table." he answered and continued to wash himself as his thoughts went back to her. He quickly thought to himself, maybe she didn't want to come because it would be too hard to watch him marry Kelly. Maybe she hadn't moved on, maybe she was still in love with him? He thought about if the roles were reversed, he would never go and watch Brenda marry someone else. He physically didn't think he could do it. Dylan shook his head in disbelief that he was thinking these things, especially considering what had happened. They were over. She had kicked him out. Maybe she hadn't forgiven him and maybe she hated him. Brenda had never tried to get in touch with him after he left London, he always assumed she wanted nothing to do with him. Their break up was ugly, it was really bad…so bad Dylan thought it was almost a blessing when he moved back to Beverly Hills and was actually mad at her. If an engaged Dylan thought of Brenda like he was, going back and forth with what if's and why's, did she think of him? Was she doing the same thing? He couldnt get her out of his head.

Kelly walked over to the table setting down her keys. She looked at the opened reply and picked it up. She read Brenda's regret, _much luck to both of you? No congratulations…no happiness sentiments, figures. _She then noticed it was the only one of five opened. She took a deep breath as she looked toward the bathroom shaking her head. "Surprise…Surprise." she murmured as she rolled her eyes. _He just couldnt wait to read this one_, Kelly thought. Dylan hadnt been involved with any of the plans and Brenda's reply was actually the only one he even opened, out of a hundred and fifty. She had done everyting herself with the help of Donna. Even if she had asked for his help or opionion he would find some excuse or just agree with her.

**

_Brenda looked at him and swallowed hard as her glass dropped to the floor, he opened it facing her, "Bren…will you marry me?"_

"_What?" she said confused, "You said…" she was speechless again._

"_I know what I said, I know we have talked about this and we have argued about marriage but I want to marry you. I can't picture my future with anyone else. When I look at my life, you are the only thing I got right, you are the only person that got me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."_

"_Dylan…" Brenda hesitated why she didn't know. This was the man she loved, a man in which she would always have an open heart for. This was the love of her life. She looked into his eyes, they were dark and they sparkled. She saw the refection on the tiny lights in them as he awaited her answer. She squeezed her eyes shut freeing more tears and then opened them slowly. _

_Dylan read her like a book and knew what she was thinking, "I am sure." he gave her a nod and smiled, "I have never been more sure of anything in my life."_

_Brenda slowly smiled looking down at the ring as Dylan took it out and slipped it on her finger. She threw her arms around his neck and closed her eyes as she hugged him tightly._

_Dylan laughed lightly embracing back, "Is that yes?"_

_Brenda quickly leaned away from him placing her hand on his face, she excitedly bounced in her seat, "Yes…yes…." she leaned in and kissed him hard. She nodded and whispered yes again in between kisses. She felt him slowly push himself off his knee and on the bench not leaving her lips, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist pulling her to him, lifting her slightly forcing her to straddle him on the bench as he kissed her passionately. _

_Brenda moaned out softly as she pulled away. "I can't believe you…this is amazing." she whispered as her face rested close to his. _

_Dylan just smiled and went in to kiss her again. Brenda gave him a wicked smile as she leaned out from him and reached into his pocket pulling out the satin blind fold. Dylan laughed quietly as he raised his eyebrows. He tightly secured his arms, lifting her as he stood up. He brought her down, laying her on the blanket as he lowered himself to her._

Brenda opened her eyes quickly and looked around her dark bedroom. She shook her head remembering what it was like to be Dylan's fiancé. How romantic his proposal was and how she had never been happier in her entire life. Everything was perfect with Dylan…why couldn't perfect keep their love alive? Still even after everything, Brenda never once thought that her and Dylan were meant to say goodbye. She groaned out as she grabbed her pillow covering her face with it. When was she going to get over him? When was this going to get easier...and why couldnt she stop thinkgin about him?

_So there was chapter 2 which in English the title means, I can't stop thinking about you. A little more into B/D and their time together in London. There will be plenty more and eventually you will find out what exactly happened and why they ended it.. Any guesses on the break up?_


	3. Chapter 3

**_I am going to be working on my other stories so I decided to give you some secrets in this chapter instead of gragging them out. You're welcome lol No but i tend to update all my fics so I wanted to leave you with a good one to hold you over. Enjoy!_**

**Chapter 3 The Past Comes Out**

Brenda hurried through her front door coffee cup in hand, "I'm coming." she mumbled dropping her things to the ground and hurrying to the phone.

"Hey this is Brenda…" Brenda grabbed the phone as the answering machine kicked off.

"Hello." She said rushed.

"Hey…bad time?" Valerie voice seemed distant.

"Val…hey…no I just walked in the door." Brenda took off her coat, "What's up?"

"Are you sitting?" Valerie was rarely serious.

Brenda made a face, "Should I be?" Brenda was kind of nervous with that introduction.

"Yes…most definitely you should be sitting, maybe lying down."

Brenda laughed, "Oh give me a break, I am sitting what?" Brenda flopped down on her couch, bringing her legs under her.

"I don't know how to tell you this, and I have been putting it off for 2 weeks." Valerie sighed and sat quiet.

Brenda was a little freaked out; Valerie was always vocal about everything. "Ok…want me to guess? Hmmm this big of a deal where _you_…are at a loss for words…You're pregnant?"

"Bite your tongue." Valerie snapped back.

Brenda laughed, "You're getting married?" Brenda joked.

"No...that may be worse than being pregnant." Valerie laughed as her nerves calmed, she got serious again.

"Oh come on Val…nothing you can tell me can be worse than finding out Dylan and Kelly are getting married…unless I had brain cancer or something…that would suck."

"You know already…that was what I was going to tell you, I got the ugly ass invitation a couple weeks ago. Who told you and." Valerie started laughing, " I'm laughing right now at the fact you just compared Kelly and Dylan getting married to brain cancer?"

Brenda sadly laughed, "Well…I might compare them as a couple to constipation or the runs…you know, painful and annoying as hell but them getting married…was a serious shock." Brenda sat quiet for several moments. "They invited me."

"Shut up…are you serious? Dylan might have just received the biggest asshole award of the century. Are you going to go?"

"No…why so I can see her have what I was suppose to have…no thanks. I was forced to watch them when we were in high school; now I have a choice…its just…I knew they were back together…I just didn't think it...him and her…never mind." Brenda looked down.

"You just didn't think it would ever be that serious? That he would move into marriage with someone else? Or maybe you were just hoping you were wrong back then?" Valerie said sadly.

Brenda sighed loudly, she shook her head, "You know…I have known Dylan for a long time. He must have really reconnected with her for him to take this step. I think its safe to admit he is over me huh…I just wish I could say the same thing."

"Bren." Valerie breathed out feeling badly. "Are you going to be ok?

Brenda wiped her cheek quickly, "Of course I am going to be ok." Brenda said so matter of fact she almost believed it. "I wonder what her ring looks like?" Brenda looked down.

"I am sure not as pretty as yours." Valerie took a deep breath, "I wonder how he proposed?"

"I am sure it was…disgustingly romantic…that's Dylan for you."

"Uh stop you're making me nauseous, and Bren…Dylan wasn't romantic when it came to anyone but you."

Brenda sniffed and let out a laugh, "Yeah…so…are you going to go?"

Valerie sighed into the phone, "I don't know…I doubt it, not without you anyway. What can I say Bren? I guess we will always be the outcasts."

"I guess so." she said softly, "Anyway I gotta go, I have rehearsal in an hour but on the bright side I will be going on tour so at least I can keep busy. I think I will be in New York in a month. Come down and meet me?"

"Absolutely…I'll call you later."

"K…bye Val."

"Bye Bren."

Brenda hung up the phone and took a deep breath. Thank god for Valerie, she was the only person from the so called gang who had kept in touch with her well besides Brandon of course. It was funny that they weren't part of the gang at the same time. Brenda couldn't be mad though, she hadn't tried to keep in touch with them either. After Valerie left Beverly Hills, they ran into each other in New York city. Valerie was trying to adjust without Beverly Hills and Brenda was touring, the same tour in which Dylan had planned to come with her. They had spent a week catching up and Brenda finally opened up about what had just happened between her and Dylan. They had been good friends ever since and tried to visit each other as much as possible. They never talked about the past, the past with Dylan and Valerie, or anything to that nature because at that time Dylan was the last person Brenda wanted to talk about but Valerie had proved to be a good friend despite it and she gave her support when Brenda needed it the most.

Brenda set the phone on the hook and walked into her bedroom. She stood in front of her dresser and looked at her reflection. She was hiding her pain well but Brenda could see the redness in her eyes, the puffiness in her cheeks and the overall sense of heartbreak all around her. Brenda sadly took her earrings off and opened up her jewelry box setting them in the red velvet lined box. She saw her ring and picked it up, bringing it closer to her. She loved it so much, it was a shame she had to keep it hiding in a box. It was a beautiful marquis, about a carat but Brenda didn't care about that. It had 3 smaller princess cut diamonds on both sides of the center stone that was raised high off the band. She placed it on her ring finger looking down at it. She sadly looked up thinking back.

_Brenda made her way into her and Dylan's flat. She set down a couple grocery bags on the kitchen counter, "Dylan…baby…I am home." she called out taking off her coat. She opened up the refrigerator grabbing a bottled water walking over to the answering machine and hitting play. She had to be on a flight to Corsica in three hours and she still hadn't finished packing. Now that Brandon and Kelly weren't coming Dylan was going to meet her in a week before their next venture. She walked over to the bags and started unpacking the groceries as she listened._

_BEEP "Hi Brenda and of course you too Dylan…I got your message about having something important to tell us. I hate that we keep missing each other. Anyway call your father and I back when you guys have a chance. We love you both…bye." BEEP_

_Brenda smirked as she turned and set things into her refrigerator._

_BEEP "This is a collect call from Erica McKay, is anyone there to accept the charges?" BEEP Brenda turned towards the answering machine and thought it was odd but shrugged and continued to listen._

_BEEP "Dylan and Brenda…I hope I am not interrupting anything…just thought I would call and let you know that Erica's graduation was lovely and she graduated with honors. Which I am assuming had some of your influence Brenda. Anyway I was really disappointed you guys couldn't come out for it, I know Brenda will be touring and I think its sweet Dylan you didn't want to leave her alone. So you guys are off the hook this time. Anyway call me when you can, I love you both…Oh and Brenda…your planets need aligning, don't make any rash decisions today. Ok bye you two." BEEP_

_Brenda had slowly moved toward the answering machine stunned, she pressed play again and listened to Iris. A million things began running through her head as she realized Dylan hadn't gone to Erica's graduation. Well he wasn't home so where exactly had Dylan gone those 4 days Brenda thought he was in Hawaii? _

_Brenda sat on their oversized chair in the dim lighting of their living room. She clenched the Kleenex in her hand as she heard Dylan unlock the front door and make his way in. As Dylan tossed his keys on the table he looked up and saw her. She just stared at him, there were two suitcases sitting next to the door._

"_Hey." he said with a smile moving closer to her. He noticed the used the Kleenex spread around, her eyes were puffy and red. Her make up was a little smeared. "Bren…what's wrong?" Dylan began to move towards to comfort her as Brenda stood up putting her hand up and walked away. _

_She stood in front of the answering machine, she hit play and turned quickly as she stared at him. The sound of Iris played through their apartment. And Dylan quickly looked down. "I can explain." he said softly._

_Brenda shook her head angrily, her body was furious but her heart and her head were sad. "You went to L.A…to the wedding…or non wedding." Brenda's voice cracked with tears. "You lied to me."_

_Dylan took a deep breath, "I know and I am sorry…I"_

_Brenda interrupted, "Why?" she raised her voice._

"_I don't know." he shook his head._

_Brenda smirked as tears poured down her face, "You don't know. Do you know what it was like hearing that message…and then having Erica tell me where you really were. What Dylan? You're still in love with Kelly? Were you the reason they called off the wedding? Were you ever going to tell me? _

_Dylan shook his head, "I didn't know how. And I know it looks bad but its not what you think."_

"_It's not…you just decided to hop on a plane and lie to your future wife…"_

"_Bren…listen to me." Dylan moved a couple steps towards her as moved back crossing her arms. _

_"Listen to what…you havent tried to explain anything." Brenda yelled and Dylan was taken back. Him and Brenda had their share of arguments and disagreements but the tone and volume in her voice he hadn't ever heard out of her before. "When I told you Brandon and Kelly didn't get married, you knew?" she shrugged as her tone droped at the end. _

"_No…I went to the wedding…I didn't stay…" Dylan looked down._

"_Why?" she said frustrated._

_Dylan shook his head and took a deep breath, "Because…I decided I didn't want to be there."_

"_Cut the shit Dylan…after everything I have done for you, after everything we have been through…be honest with me, I deserve at least that much." Brenda kept her stare as she felt herself begin to shake from the anger._

_Dylan sighed, "I realized I didn't want to watch Kelly marry Brandon…so I went down to Baja for a couple days and then…came home."_

"_I don't believe this." Brenda let her tears free as she looked down._

_Dylan walked to her, this time Brenda didn't back away, he looked down at her, "I came home to you."_

_Brenda closed her eyes and let out a smart-alecky laugh, "Fuck you Dylan." she said softly looking him dead in the eye. He stood speechless, his face filled with regret, sadness, guilt. She moved around him and headed for the door. "I got to go, I have a plane to catch." she said monotone._

_Dylan turned around, "We'll take some time, I will meet you in Corsica in a week?"_

_Brenda stopped after picking up her bags and stared at the front door. She dropped her bags to the floor and turned around. Her stare was cold, her tears were falling, "Don't be here when I get back."_

_Dylan's face fell, "What do you mean?" he said hurt._

_Brenda wrapped her fingers around her ring and slid it off, she set it gently on the table near the front door, "I am done." she shook her head looking at him one last time and turning to pick up her bags again. _

_Dylan stood there and watched her open the door. "I am not going anywhere, I am not letting you go, I am sorry I was confused but I know now, I want you. I'll be here when you get back." _

_Brenda shook her head facing the hallway, without turning around she carried her bags out the door and left._

Brenda shook her head to get the memory out of her head. She put the ring back in the box and closed the top. She wanted to hate him, for coming to London, for making her open her heart to him again, making her trust him again. Then for proposing to her, but she couldn't. Brenda tried to pull herself together, she had rehearsal and she welcomed the few hours of interruption. At least she knew for those few hours her thoughts of a Dylan McKay would be minimal.

**

Dylan took a deep breath, when he had come back to Beverly Hills he at first had no intention of going after Kelly. People were asking a lot of questions about where he had been and about Brenda. He was trying to move on from her at her request and after seeing Kelly and the fact that Brandon and her didn't get married he figured maybe all along him and Kelly were suppose to end up together. He had spent two of the 3 years in Beverly Hills trying to get her back with no luck. He had thought about leaving and running back to Brenda more than a handful of times, when he was battling drugs, when it seemed he may have been in L.A. for no reason but never did because he for one didn't know how to change the past and two he didn't think she would forgive him, and honestly Dylan knew he couldn't take the rejection. Kelly had rejected him numerous times but thinking about Brenda doing the same thing was different. Dylan would give anything to take back what he did, lying to her, being confused and most of all, leaving. While Brenda was on tour, Dylan kept his word at first. He wasn't going to move out and he figured if anything the space would cause Brenda to calm down and then Dylan would do whatever it took for her to forgive him. Then as the time went on, Brenda hadn't tried to reach him, he left messages at the hotels, nothing. So Dylan did what he thought she wanted he left.

Kelly looked over to the couch at Dylan as she sat at the kitchen table with Donna.

"Hey Dylan…should we just put Iris at the same table as my mom…or my dad?"

"Dylan…hello." Kelly said frustrated looking that he wasn't looking up from his magazine.

Dylan thought he heard something, he looked up to find Kelly and Donna staring at him. "Huh…did you say something?"

"You haven't heard a word I have said…what's wrong with you?"

"Sorry…what was the question?" Dylan exhaled closing his magazine.

Kelly rolled her eyes and looked at Donna, "See what I mean." Donna looked down , "I said where should we sit your mom? With my mom?" Kelly shrugged holding index cards.

Dylan shrugged, "Why don't you sit her with the Walsh's…she knows them, she'd probably be more comfortable there."

"The Walsh's?" Kelly said it like Dylan just told her he had cheated on her. "Cause she wouldn't be comfortable with my mom?" Kelly barked.

Dylan spoke calmly, "No…she doesn't know your mom." he had a hint of frustration behind it.

"They will meet soon enough considering she is flying in next week and besides Dylan…the Walsh's table isn't a family table."

"Alright…whatever it doesn't matter." he held up his hands and looked down opening his magazine.

"Dylan do you care about this wedding at all? I mean…ever since we decided to move forward and the planning started you have been really distant."

Donna looked back and forth between Kelly and Dylan. "Hey Kel, sorry…I have to get going, its my turn to make dinner tonight and David is probably wondering where I am, I'll call you tomorrow. Donna got up grabbing her jacket. She opened the back door and looked at Dylan, "See ya Dylan."

"Yeah…bye Donna." Dylan said softly knowing the only reason she was leaving was because she was uncomfortable. As Donna closed the back door behind her he looked at Kelly and just stared at her.

Kelly looked down, "Look Dylan…you're the one who wanted me back…you are the one who wanted me to commit to me. I didn't want to trust you again and I did because I love you. Was I wrong to let you back in?" Kelly instead of the usual flared nostrils, angry look, gave him a somber one.

Dylan took a deep breath, "No…you weren't wrong. I am sorry, I just have a lot on my mind. Sit my mom with your mom, she'll be fine."

Kelly sadly nodded and went back to the seating charts and Dylan looked up at the ceiling taking a big breath. He was having second thoughts, for the first time since they had been engaged, he actually said the words in his head not that he was ever that positive about it.

_Dylan lay next to Kelly, things were going well. They had easily moved into being a couple again and they hadn't any huge arguments which said a lot for Dylan and Kelly. Kelly lifted her head off his chest and looked at him. He smiled at her nicely and ran his hand down her back. _

"_I love you." Kelly said for the first time to him maybe ever._

_Dylan pursed his lips together and gave her a nod, he swallowed hard, "Me too." he said sincerely. He hadn't said it in so long and Dylan was well aware he had never said it to Kelly. He showed her in different ways and said it in different context but those three little words had never made it out of his mouth towards her. He thought about Brenda, how easy it was to tell her right from the start. Then he got angry with himself for thinking of her. _

_Kelly sat up bringing the covers with her and leaned against the pillows, she looked down as she nervously played with the comforter, "I want to get married Dylan…sometime…and we have been back together for a little while and you haven't asked…" Kelly looked over at him, "Why haven't you asked?" _

_Dylan bit his lip and shrugged, "I don't know…things are just going so well…"_

"_You don't want to?" she asked sadly, "Cause I thought…I mean that was the impression I got from us being us again and Donna and David's wedding…never mind…sorry I brought it up." Kelly began rambling. _

_Dylan took a deep breath looking up at the ceiling, "No…don't be sorry, I want to marry you." Dylan thought of something…anything to end this conversation. Its not that he didn't want to, when he was trying to get her back he was serious…he wasn't sure when though._

_Kelly sat up and smiled, "Really?" he eyes gleamed._

_Dylan looked over at her and gave her nod and a small smile._

Then Dylan's mind went to a month later, again they were lying in bed and the subject came up again.

_As Dylan began to kiss down her neck thinking maybe round too was in order Kelly kissed him and looked into his eyes, "Dylan…let's do it." she said softly._

_Dylan's eyebrows raised, "You don't have to ask me twice." Dylan said in his usual sexy tone._

_Kelly giggled, "No…let's get married."_

_Dylan's smile faded, "Kel…" he hesitated._

_Kelly moved away from him shook her head. "I knew it…I knew I was wasting my time with you." she started to get up._

"_Where are you going?" Dylan sat up._

"_This isn't going to work." she pointed back and forth between them, "I cant be with you if you wont commit to me." Kelly began to get dressed. "I am done."_

_The words echoed in Dylan's head, hearing them 2 years earlier from Brenda. Dylan couldn't lose both of them. He got up, throwing his boxers on and took his hands to the top of Kelly's arms. "Wait." he stopped her from leaving._

"_Wait what?" Kelly shook her head sadly._

"_Ok…let's do it." Dylan said it out loud and after a swallow he gave her a smile._

_A small smile spread across her face and just like that they were engaged._

Dylan looked at Kelly hard at work as he got up walking past her and into the bedroom. He closed the door and walked over sitting on the edge of the bed. He reached for the phone and gripped it. He pressed talk and began dialing the interntional code and phone number. He slowly brought the phone to his ear and after a second or two it began to ring. He nervously ran his hand down his thigh and waited.

"Hello." Brenda answered.

_**Soooooooooo way different proposal wasn't it? What are you thinking? I apologize for the K/D stuff, I tried to make it as painless as possible. REVIEW! Its about to get more interesting. hehe**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 We Won't Say Our Goodbye's  
**

"Hello?" Brenda asked again not hearing a response.

Dylan swallowed hard and closed his eyes hearing her voice. It had been years since he had heard it and not to sound corny it was music to his ears. He had missed it so much, her voice was the loudest thing in his head as it echoed. At that moment he didn't know what to say. He pulled the phone from his ear and hung up. Dylan ran his hand across his forehead.

Brenda shrugged as she set the phone down. She looked at her watch and cursed to herself as she moved quickly out the door before she was late for rehearsal.

Dylan took a deep breath, what was he doing? He just had a chance to talk to her and he chickened out. He shook his head and clicked the phone on again hitting redial. As the long beep of numbers redialed he waited for the ring.

"Hello?" Brandon said.

Dylan was caught off guard, "Brandon?"

"Hey what's up buddy?" Brandon said happily.

"Are you at Brenda's?" Dylan was so confused.

"Brenda's…no…I am home…I called you." Brandon stood quiet for a moment, "Why…were you calling Brenda?" he had heard the dialing.

Dylan took a deep breath, "Ah…yeah…I was."

"Wow…" Brandon was curious and yet he didn't push it. "So…I guess congratulations are in order huh?" Brandon tried to get rid of the awkwardness.

"Congratulations?"

Brandon laughed, "Yeah…the wedding will be here before you know it."

"Oh right…the wedding…thanks man." Dylan was losing it.

Brandon sat quiet for a second, "You ok man?"

Dylan took a deep breath and almost opened up but didn't, "Yeah…just tired…so what's up? Kelly told me you are planning to come to the wedding…it will be good to see you. It's been way to long."

"Yeah it has…actually that's why I am calling, I sent in my reply card with a plus one but looks like I will be attending solo, I wanted to tell you guys so you had a accurate count and I didn't want to mess up any seating arrangements."

"I thought I heard from Steve you were dating some girl from work?"

"Yeah…well I was, didn't work out." Brandon laughed a little, "Story of my life."

"Tell me about it." Dylan got up and walked out of the bedroom, "Here talk to Kel, she is the boss when it comes to seating charts, I never knew it mattered."

_I remember_, Brandon thought remembering how he helped Kelly plan their wedding, "Why does that not surprise me." Joked Brandon.

Dylan laughed, "Take it easy Bran." Kelly's head shot up "Can't wait to see you."

"Hey Dylan? I know this isn't really my business and I apologize if you think I am crossing the line but…did you invite Bren to the wedding? I haven't talked to her in awhile and need too, she was busy with a new play and I was out of town for a story, we emailed but…I guess I just wanted a heads up if you didn't."

Dylan looked down at Kelly who looked as though she was waiting for the phone, he realized it wasn't the time to fill Brandon in on anything, "I did…but she declined."

"Oh…ok, well take care and I will give you a call when I get into town."

"Alright…bye bro…here's Kelly." Dylan handed the phone over. He stood and watched her smile bringing the phone to her ear.

"Brandon…hey you, what's up? How's the paper?"

Dylan had to go for a drive, clear his head. He went over grabbing his jacket and keys. Kelly noticed right away, "Hang on Brandon." she moved the receiver from her mouth but didn't think to cover it. "Where are you going?"

Dylan shook his head, "Just going out" and with out further explanation he left.

Kelly took a deep breath and shook her head, typical Dylan. She sighed, "Sorry Brandon."

"Everything ok?" Brandon asked hearing the short conversation, if you could call it that.

"Yeah…you know Dylan…not exactly an open book."

"Right." Brandon nodded even though Kelly couldn't see him. "Something's never change…he wouldn't be Dylan if he wasn't a pain in the ass once in a while" Brandon made light of it and Kelly laughed a little.

She listened to his voice and felt unbothered by Dylan even if it was for a few minutes. The silence grew between them, "So when are you coming home, I miss you." Kelly said playfully yet serious.

Brandon smiled, "Soon actually…I have some vacation time coming up so when I got the invite I decided to use it and spend a couple weeks in L.A. It will be good to see everyone, visit with Steve…you…" Brandon continued, "I bet Maddie has gotten big."

"Yeah…she is so cute, she is walking now."

"Well…the reason I called was because I had sent in my reply for the wedding and I know how organized you are about seating so I need to change my reply to just me…no plus one."

"What happened with Katie?" Kelly felt badly.

"It just didn't work out. I'll fill you in later." Brandon kept it short.

"Well ok thanks for letting me know…I guess I will see you soon then."

"Yep should be there in a couple weeks."

"It's good to hear your voice Brandon." Kelly said sweetly.

"Yeah…you too…I'll see you in a couple of weeks…and Kelly?"

"Yeah."

"I miss you too." Brandon said softly.

Kelly smiled and looked down, "Bye Brandon."

"See soon Kel." Brandon and Kelly both hung up.

**

Brenda's rehearsal had gone well, anything to take her away from her thoughts for a few hours. Brenda sat waiting for the brief meeting they were expected to have about their upcoming tour. She couldn't wait to get on the road, traveling and enjoying a break from her everyday life. She looked up as the assistant director made his way to the group.

"I am not going to take up too much of your time…Manny is passing out the tour itinerary, locations, dates and hotels."

Manny passed Brenda the travel packet and she skimmed it quickly.

"Alright people, we'll see you on Friday for the last rehearsal then we are on to Switzerland."

Brenda raised her hand, "I thought we were going to be ending in New York in April?"

"No…I don't know the full story but I guess the theater was double booked, we are ending in California instead." Manny said quickly before catching up with the stage manager.

Brenda sighed as she zeroed in on the dates. April 6th through the 8th, she read. They were staying at the Beverly Wilshire, not only was her play 2 weeks before Kelly and Dylan's wedding the reception was being held there too just weeks after. Brenda remembered because she had thought to herself how swanky after reading the invitation. Brenda closed her eyes sighing. She'd book her room at the Bel Age instead; she didn't have to stay with the rest of the cast. L.A. was big right? What were the odds they would run into each other? Last she had heard Dylan was staying at the Beverly Royale. Brenda now was nervous, she kept telling herself not to worry, maybe he lived with Kelly and she would be far from the beach. Her mind kept turning, even if they did run into each other, she wouldn't be forced to go to the wedding. _I mean they don't know my tour ends there…I could be heading on, somewhere else, _Brenda thought_. _She knew she was dramatic, she knew that and she didn't want to back out of the tour by any means even thought for a split second she thought of it, she wasn't exactly sure if she did see them, she could handle it. Maybe 5 years ago, maybe, but now, after the last conversation her and Dylan had and being engaged, there was no way she could do it. If at all possible she was in love with Dylan more and the reason she broke up with Dylan was because of Kelly. She started to gather more of her things as she recalled her conversation with Erica.

"_Bren! Hey, how are you?" Erica beamed._

"_Erica…you know I love you like a sister…you know I would do anything…I mean anything for you." Brenda pleaded._

_Erica was set back, "I know, I feel the same about you…what's going on Bren?"_

"_Where did Dylan really go…if he didn't go to your graduation?" Brenda said holding back tears._

_Erica was quiet for several moments, "Erica…please…"_

"_He went to L.A. He didn't get a flight out to Hawaii due to the weather and he told me he was going to Kelly and Brandon's wedding." Erica heard Brenda cry softly. "Bren…"_

"_Why would he lie about it, if he couldn't go to you, then why wouldn't he just tell me? Unless he was purposely hiding it?"_

_Erica sighed, "I asked him…I hung up on him actually when he was on his way back."_

_Brenda took a deep breath, "He **is** still in love with Kelly?"_

"_Brenda…I am sorry, I had a feeling this was going to happen and then I found out Iris called…I just wish you didn't have to hear this from me, I had asked him how the wedding was and he said he had left, he said he couldn't watch Kelly marry another man." Erica said sadly. She hadn't talked to Dylan since then and Erica had been mad at Dylan._

_Brenda sat quiet, the thought of losing Dylan again to her was too much to bare. He had been home now and things seemed fine. Now she wasn't sure if he was there because he thought Kelly got married, because he had already asked her too or he just hadn't broken it off with her yet. She wished she would have heard it from Dylan…not his sister. And Brenda's biggest fear and no matter how happy they were together, she feared he would up and leave one day.  
_

Brenda moped as she walked home. Brenda always thought in her heart, that Dylan and her would somehow end up together. She wasn't sure why and all signs pointed against it but she always felt that there was a reason they never said good bye to each other. They never closed the door. They never had any closure. They depended on each other even if years split them up, their love never let go and now Brenda was thinking otherwise. This had been really hard for her and she thought she was stronger. Now she was going to L.A. in a couple weeks and it terrified her. He would see right through her. He would know everything. The only thing Brenda could do was just cross her fingers she wouldn't run into Dylan, Kelly or any of the gang while she was in L.A. The thought of seeing them together again would be torture. The thought of them marrying was torture. Brenda had broken it off with him because she refused to be left in the cold for Kelly again. She didn't care if he was to apologize to her, or take it back; tell her he made a mistake or that he was confused. He did all those things and she wasn't going to do it again. And now she was going through it, even in this situation. In all honesty after her tour, after she had calmed down, she had hoped to walk into their apartment and see him there, with his dark eyes, and sexy gaze, full of mystery and love. His face would have shown guilt and sadness. She knew it well. She knew him well but when returning from her trip she came home to an empty apartment, no note. The only thing she saw on the table was her ring and his key. Her biggest fear had come true, not only was she right about Dylan's feelings for Kelly, he did just what she feared, he up'd and left without a fight...like he always did.

**

Dylan drove up Mulholland Drive, he pulled into one of the stops, parking his car over looking the city. He sat and pondered and wondered how he got into this mess in the first place. He was afraid he was marrying Kelly because he felt like he had too. He had tried to get her back for so long it just seemed like the right thing to do. After all she didn't want to give him a second chance and after everything she did. Kelly had grown a lot in the years Dylan had known her. She has a big heart, she was sweet and caring, she was loyal to her friends and she had been a good girlfriend considering the last time they had dated. But after all was said and done, Dylan wasn't sure if he was in love with her, he loved Kelly, he did, and part of him would always have a special place in his heart for her but was he in love with her? Was he just marrying her because they had hit a certain age, being in their late twenties and it was just the thing you did. Were they stuck in a rut and were the feelings and second thoughts Dylan was having just part of cold feet? Even with Brenda, there was a time when he told her he didn't want to get married again. And even though he knew Brenda wanted too, she didn't bug him about it. She never pressured him into it, but then once in a while they would argue about it because Dylan would make some comments about marriage being the end of your life, or that all marriages were doomed and only then Brenda would have something to say about it. One day they had gone out to dinner, and the two of them walked down the street as of London, arms wrapped around each other and they were talking about life and each other and it dawned on Dylan that Brenda was the only person that got him, she knew him better than anyone and no matter if they were apart or together, they would always just pick up exactly where they had left off. He was always connected to her, he was always in love with her and he found himself acting different even around her. He was less selfish, more sensitive, caring and considerate. He liked who he was when he was with her. And yes he still had his occasional brooding moment or temper tantrum but she knew exactly how to handle it. It was then he realized he wanted to be with her forever, he wanted to be that man for the rest of his life. He had loved 3 women in his life and Brenda always topped them.

Dylan took a deep breath thinking, was he with Kelly because he wasn't with Brenda? Was he marrying Kelly just because she expected him too? He hadn't traditionally proposed to Kelly, he hadn't done much other than be there for her physically since everything. He didn't even pick out her engagement ring, they had gone to the store, Kelly picked out what she wanted, Dylan paid cash and that was it. Dylan ran his hand through his hair feeling badly. He didn't want to be alone; it was funny how when he was younger he almost liked it, living alone without parental supervision, without strings. Now it terrified him, to think of himself living the remainder of his life alone and he would continue to live that way until one day he died and no one would care much either way because he somehow closed the doors on every friendship or relationship he had ever had. Dylan had to talk to Kelly about his feelings, he cared about her too much to do and think the things he was doing and thinking. Dylan rested his head back and thought about Brenda again. Maybe he should go to her? They had never officially said goodbye maybe that was why he couldn't go through with everything because him and Brenda never had closure. Brenda threw things at him and yelled at him, cussing and sobbing and Dylan actually was pissed at her that she gave up on him that easily. He would never completely understand why she closed the door on them so quickly. He had done worse when they were younger; he never actually got together or cheated with Kelly. He just lied to her about where he was, which Dylan wasn't a complete ass, he knew that it hurt her and he knew it sucked but to call off their engagement? Dylan started his Porsche and began down Mulholland again; he drove to the after dark, after everything that was running through his head, he needed a drink. He needed something to calm the thoughts that he could not for the life of him get out of his head.

_Ok guys, not a very exciting chapter but I had to lay out some stuff and now you know where I am heading. Brandon will talk to Brenda next. I am sure some of you enjoyed the BK teaser and I am not completely sure what I am doing yet with them but I thought you would enjoy it; also they won't be the center of anything anyway but obviously will be involved. Also you can see Dylan had a different thought of the night they broke up then Brenda did. And that was done on purpose. The time line so far, is that the wedding is in a month. Brandon will be there in 2 weeks, and Brenda's play is in 2 weeks also. We will be skipping forward a little too, next chapter is a week later. Please review and keep watch for updates from the rest of the fics. Thanks and I hope everyone had a happy Turkey day!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 The Truth Will Set You Free?**

Kelly shook her head as she listened on the phone. She glanced over at Dylan who was leaning forward, elbows on his knees looking at the floor. He had told her he needed to talk to her. Dylan got as far as _you know how I feel about you Kel _and then the phone rang.

"I am sorry…I will get it to you as soon as possible." Kelly told the person on the other line. "Yes…ok I will see you soon…bye." As Kelly was finishing up the call he looked at her impatiently waiting to finish talking to her about how he was feeling. Kelly sighed loudly as she brought the phone away from her ear and glared at Dylan.

"You'll never guess who that was." Kelly's tone said it all.

Dylan shrugged frustrated

"That was the hotel and they said they are still waiting for the deposit and I just got rudely told if I didn't have a check to them by this afternoon then they were going to give away our day…you said you took care of this weeks ago Dylan. What the hell is your problem?"

Dylan shook his head, "I am sorry Kel, I told you I handled it because I was going to and I totally forgot."

"Well now I have to run over there." Kelly began pacing around her living room in search of her purse. "And you said you were going to pick up your tux, they called yesterday and said everyone had picked theirs up except you. Do I have to do everything?'

"Kelly….will you stop moving for a second and please sit down…I will give you a check to give the hotel, I will pick up the damn tux and do whatever else you want me to do…but right now I need to talk to you before I head to the airport to pick my mom up. Now can you give me a few minutes?" Dylan said sternly. He hated getting lectured, he hated when people told him what to do and Kelly was getting on his last nerve.

Kelly took a deep breath and sat next to him, "What?" she said calm yet irritated.

Dylan took a deep breath, "I need to talk to you because I have been having second thoughts…"

Kelly's chest got heavy as she pursed her lips together breathing through her nose, her nostrils began to flare and she felt the tears building in her eyes. "Excuse me?" she breathed out.

Dylan looked to the ground, "All this stuff has been running through my head and I have been thinking about Bren…"

Kelly's eyes widened and her mouth dropped, "You are such an asshole." she allowed the tears to fall. She got up quickly

Dylan looked at her taken back by her language, "Wait Kel, let me finish."

"Finish…finish, screw you Dylan, you are telling me this stuff now. I mean the wedding is three weeks away. Everything is planned. I knew you would do this, I knew it. Always be around, I would never leave you. How could I have been so stupid?" Kelly yelled.

Dylan got up and tried to grab her just as Kelly pulled herself away, "I hate you for doing this, I'll never forgive you for this…"

"Kelly." Dylan yelled, "I have been thinking about Brenda because there is stuff you don't know, about London, about me and her. I have been having second thoughts because I haven't been honest with you…at all."

Kelly turned around, she crossed her arms and looked at him. She didn't say anything, she was so mad she almost couldn't breathe.

"Look…a couple weeks ago you asked me why me and Bren broke up…the truth is she found out that I had gone to you and Brandon's wedding. I was going to Hawaii for Erica's graduation but I couldn't go because there was some weather issues and they had cancelled all the flights to Hawaii. I decided to come here but I never told her about it."

Kelly looked at him as the confusion hit her, "But you said you had left Brenda two years before coming here. The wedding was only a couple months before you got here."

Dylan gave her a nod, "I know…I lied."

Kelly shook her head, "I can't believe this." she whispered turning away from him, she couldn't even look at him.

"She was mad at me and she was hurt that I had lied but more so that I…couldn't watch you marry him. She said I was still in love with you and that she couldn't trust me. You and Brandon were suppose to come meet us in Corsica but…you called off the wedding and Brenda found out about everything. She went on that tour alone and told me she didn't want me to be there when she got back." Dylan turned slightly looking out blankly, he remembered that scene like it was yesterday. "I didn't want to but after time I realized she was serious and maybe she was right. Maybe I was still in love with you. So I left, and I haven't talked to her since."

Kelly stood there drained, she was crying and hearing him tell her this now was heartbreaking. They both stood silent for a few minutes. Without looking at him she asked, "Are you still in love with her?"

Dylan lowered himself to the couch, "I don't know." he said softly. "Sometimes I think I am and sometimes I don't. I guess…I guess I wanted to invite her to the wedding because it was a way of making sure she was ok. And when she declined…it just brought back all this stuff. It made me think that maybe she isn't ok."

Kelly was so furious. "So…what am I suppose to do, where does it leave us?"

"Hopefully it leaves us with a communication line. I just feel like I couldn't tell you these things because you would take it the wrong way or we would just start fighting. You know how I feel about you Kelly and all those things I said to you, I wasn't lying."

"Communication." Kelly smirked as she shook her head, "Take things the wrong way?" Kelly raised her voice, "You just told me you are still in love with Brenda. You just told me you have been lying to me for years about coming back here, about Brenda and about London."

Dylan shook his head, "I didn't just tell you I was still in love with Brenda…I just."

"Do you want to marry me Dylan?" Kelly swallowed hard and put aside all the anger she had in her and just asked flat out. In all the years on and off that they had been together and all the fights, she just didn't have the strength to fight anymore.

Dylan looked at her and he didn't know, he saw the hurt in her eyes and Dylan knew Kelly was hiding her anger. He felt bad and at the end of the day, breaking things off with Kelly wouldn't make things better. He would have lost her and he wouldn't have Brenda either. He slowly walked to the kitchen counter taking out his check book from his coat. He sighed it and handed it to her, "Go bring this to the hotel. We can talk about everything else later." Dylan brought his hand to her face wiping the tear as it rolled down her face.

She didn't know anything either. She looked down at the check and took it and then she looked back at him. "Is their anything else? I mean are there more lies?" she asked quietly.

Dylan looked to the side not able to look at her. He took a deep breath, "Brenda and I…" Dylan looked down, "We were engaged…when all this had happened…we were about to tell everyone including the gang and Jim and Cindy. Brandon knew and Erica but we were waiting for the right time to make our announcement." Dylan hung his head low, no matter what Dylan felt awful and maybe he was telling her so he wouldn't feel so guilty, maybe secretly he wanted her to call everything off, or maybe he felt that if he let some of it out, he might be able to think clearly again and get the past out of his head. The past that was still so much a part of him that it was making him rethink his future. And maybe it was a little bit of everything. He slowly raised his head and met Kelly's glare. She brought her hand up and slapped him across the face. It wasn't the first time she had hit him and he knew he deserved it. She shook her head backing away from him as the tears streamed down her face again. She dropped the check to the ground and left slamming the back door behind her so hard a mirror that hung on the wall fell to the ground. Dylan closed his eyes and sighed. He walked over picking up the check and looking at it. He debated going to the hotel and giving the check to them. He wasn't sure what was happening but he felt in his heart it was fair to try and figure it out but since the hotel wouldn't hold the ballroom for much longer it was better to be safe than sorry. He then glanced over at the mirror on the ground. He walked over to it and began picking up the big pieces of glass. At that moment only two things filled his head, seven years bad luck and Brenda.

**

Brenda sat on the bed channel surfing, there was nothing on and Brenda wasn't really in the mood to watch anything anyway. She had arrived in Florence earlier that day from Switzerland. It was her first time there and it was beautiful. She would be in Florence for a few days, Cannes, then on up to Paris, then New York, and then Los Angeles. Brenda had originally heard they were going to Spain and ending in New York but she guessed because of the overbooking they had taken out Spain and added California to the tour. And then she wouldn't have to be back in London until mid May to start the run of the same play in London's West End. Now that Brenda was alone, in her hotel room she decided to check her messages. She brought her cell to her ear and began listening. The first message was from Valerie, letting her know she received her message about the tour and that she would be in New York sooner than expected. The second message was Brandon, who she had been playing phone tag with for weeks. And then the last message was the biggest shocker of them all. It was from Kelly. She honestly hadn't heard her voice in so long she almost didn't recognize it. Saying that Brenda was surprised was an understatement. There was something about Kelly's tone it made her nervous. She pressed 2 and listened again.

"Hey Bren…its me Kelly. I know we haven't talked in a while and I am sorry I haven't tried to call sooner. I really need to talk to you about something. If you have a chance, I know how busy you are, could you call me back?" there was a long pause, "it's important…ok…bye."

Brenda took a deep breath and gently bit the bottom of her lip. Brenda didn't mean to be mean but the first thing that popped in her head was…_what the hell does she want? _She wasn't going to call her back…at least not then, I mean honestly what did she want? To rub it in more she was marrying Dylan, to ask her why she declined the invitation to their wedding? Brenda couldn't for the life of her figure it out. Maybe Brandon knew, she checked the time, it was 11pm in Italy so it was 6pm in Washington DC. She flipped open her cell and dialed Brandon. It rang twice and a familiar voice picked up.

"Hello."

"Oh my God…finally…I thought maybe I would never get to talk to my brother again, do you even remember that you had a sister?" Brenda smiled.

"Who? I have a sister?" Brandon joked.

Brenda let out a laugh, "Yes you do…actually a smarter, much better looking cool twin sister."

Brandon laughed, "Well I will give you better looking and cool but smarter…"

Brenda laughed again, "How are you Brandon? It's good to hear your voice."

"I am good…pretty good anyway, been crazy busy lately, but one more week and I will be on vacation for 3 weeks, how are you?"

"I am ok, I just left Switzerland, I am in Florence now, I am having a great time."

Brandon sat quiet for a second, she didn't sound like she was having a great time. Actually it sounded like the opposite. "Well sweet sister of mine, you live a charmed life."

"Yeah." Brenda breathed out.

"Alright Bren…what bites, you can play the fake I'm having a great time routine but I know you, what's wrong?"

Brenda sighed, "You do know me well. Its not a big deal, I love being on tour but it gets lonely you know?" Brenda paused as the silence grew thicker, "So…are you going to the wedding?"

Brandon took a deep breath, "I had a feeling this may have something to do with that…I actually am. I talked to Kelly and Dylan last week. Dylan said he invited you but you declined."

"Yeah…I am having a pretty rough time with it. I don't know why." Brenda said softly.

"Well probably because you're still in love with him…and the history with the three of you, its understandable why it would be a big deal."

"Is it a big deal for you?"

Brandon hadn't quite admitted it even himself , "Yeah…I guess it is, but both Dylan and Kelly are two my best friends it would be kind of selfish of me not to go because of my past with Kelly."

"So…you think I am selfish?" Brenda was a bit taken back.

"No…you were engaged to him…"

"You were engaged to Kelly." She added.

"Bren…I know but Dylan wasn't the reason we broke up. It's different. I understand why you don't want to go…I wouldn't want to either."

Brenda sat quiet for several seconds, "I cant do it...there is no way I could do it." Brenda breathed out, "And besides…you talk to both of them regularly. I haven't talked to Kelly in God over 5 years, to Dylan in 3. But I did get a rather odd message from Kelly today. Any chance she told you what she wanted when you were talking to her?" Brenda thought it was a shot.

"Uh…no, she didn't say anything to me about it…but Dylan did."

"Dylan?" Brenda might have stopped breathing for a second.

"He said he was trying to call you…he was dialing out when I called. He thought I was with you."

Brenda closed her eyes and exhaled, "Maybe he just wanted to see why I wasn't coming, that's probably why Kelly called."

"I don't know about Kelly but Dylan, I dont think that was it…he sounded withdrawn. I don't know, I asked him if he was ok he just said he was tired. But he seemed out of it."

"Brandon…Dylan is always withdrawn." Brenda made a joke because in all honesty talking about Dylan trying to call her was making her uncomfortable.

"True." Brandon laughed, "So anyway how's the play?"

"It's great, that part of my life is amazing. The work is incredible and after this tour I should have a pretty steady thing going while this play runs through the summer."

"I am proud of you Bren." Brandon spoke softly.

"You are?" Brenda was confused.

"Yeah…this stuff with Dylan…acting…you are a strong woman and your successful and I cant help but be a little jealous that you have done everything you have wanted. ..and not going to the wedding just proves how strong you are."

"I think I am a coward."

"You're not Bren…you're letting go. Whether you can look at it in the face and let go or not…its still brave."

"Thanks Brandon." Brenda looked down and started playing with the blanker she had over her legs. She began to cry softly as the words you're letting go echoed through her head. "You know Bran, you are wrong…I am not as strong as you think I am…but you are right about one thing, I am letting go but the big difference in it is…I don't have a choice."

Brandon took a deep breath, "I know…I am sorry Bren."

"I miss him so much its hard to breathe. I am having all these regrets and I cant get him out of my head. Its surreal really."

"Something tells me Bren…that he may be feeling the same way. I know Dylan is hard to read and he doesn't let many people in but I feel like after all these years Dylan has gotten easier to break down and the other night something was definitely on his mind…something was definitely eating at him and it wasn't the wedding, it was almost like the wedding may have been the farthest thing from his mind." Brandon almost stopped himself from saying it but he didn't want to hold anything back from her. They had tried their hardest to keep in touch as much as possible and it wasn't a secret between the two of them that things were never the same since Brenda decided to leave for London and then later stay there. Brandon was a writer, he was always traveling and Brenda was always doing a play or touring and with the time difference it made it hard as well but they were brother and sister, best friends and nothing would change it not even the miles between them. "I hope he will talk to me about it cause if he is having second thoughts or anything like that, I would hate to see Kelly get hurt that way, I may have my own selfish thoughts about Kelly and Dylan's relationship but she doesn't deserve that and really when all is said and done I do want her to be happy."

Brenda sat quiet as she listened to Brandon discuss Dylan and then Kelly. She wasn't going to lie that it gave her a little bit of satisfaction that at least he thought of her, regardless if it was just that once when he wanted to call her. "Brandon if I tell you something you have to promise me you wont utter a word about it."

"I promise."

"My tour ends in L.A., I will be in Beverly Hills two weeks before the wedding." Brenda sighed.

"Wow Bren…and let me guess you wanted me to promise not to tell anyone because you don't want anyone to know you are there?"

"Yeah." Brenda almost whispered. "I told you…coward."

Brandon shook his head and smirked, "Nah…my opinion doesn't change."

"Well…maybe you are the brave one, watching the love of your life marry your best friend…especially considering you were suppose to."

Brandon thought about it and shrugged, "Ok…you win…maybe you are smarter than me." he joked.

Brenda wiped under her nose and laughed. "I told ya."

Brandon and Brenda both sat quiet for a few seconds both thinking about everything. Letting the realness of their situations set in. "Thanks Brandon…it was good to hear a familiar voice in a unfamiliar place." Brenda laughed out loud, "Maybe we can secretly meet up in L.A."

Brandon laughed, "Definitely. Take care Bren and I am here for you if you need me."

" I know."

"Bye."

"Bye." Brenda closed her phone and stared down at it. She decided against calling Kelly back. At the end of the day she really didn't want to know what was so important and she didn't really care what Dylan wanted when he had called either. Brenda was letting go, it wouldn't be easy but she didn't have much choice did she.

_So how are you guys liking it? Wondering about Kelly and Dylan? Iris should be interesting *evil grins* she will have an opinion well maybe even a few…Brenda is coming as well. It will probably be in Chapter 7 : ) Please review, you know how I love them. Oh also I apologize for not updating LTC and LL. Hold tight, they are next : )_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends**

Dylan looked around the airport terminal quickly. With all the stuff that had happened with Kelly, it made Dylan 30 minutes late to pick up Iris. He made his way down to baggage claim and finally saw her. There was his mother trying to lift a big bag off the carousal. He smirked and walked over to her, he reached for the bag lifting it for Iris setting it on the ground.

Iris took a deep breath and gave him a small smile, "I was wondering if you were going to forget about me."

Dylan shook his head, "Sorry I am late, I didn't forget about you."

Iris looked at Dylan, he didn't look good. He was thinner than the last time she saw him, he had dark circles under his eyes and Iris could tell he had things on his mind. She lifted her hand and rested it on his cheek, "Are you feeling ok?"

Dylan backed away from her touch and played it off, "Yeah…I am fine, just been busy…ready?"

Iris stared at him knowing he was lying, "Dylan…what?"

"Nothing is the matter Iris…let's go, I only parked in a 20 minute pick up zone." Dylan lifted her bigger bag and started walking without her.

Iris took a deep breath, this was going to be a long couple of weeks. Dylan had his moments with her but overall as the years went by and the older Dylan got he had come to respect his mother and her crazy and eccentric ways. She followed not saying anything to him. She had planned to talk to him about things that had been on her mind but with Dylan there was a right time to do things and given is current mood it wasn't now. It was a short walk to Dylan's car and they both got in.

As Dylan began driving out of the airport parking lot he looked over at Iris, she had been quiet with him and he knew it wasn't like her. "So…how are you doing?"

She looked over at him and nodded her head, "I am good…Erica sends her love, she will be here closer to the wedding."

Dylan kept his eyes on the road and nodded approvingly. "It will be good to see her…I feel like I see her less now that I am in L.A., which is weird because living in London I was so far away."

"Well that's because you called us more then and with Brenda you actually came to visit us." Iris bit her lip regretting bringing her up. She waited for the back lash she usually got when she mentioned Brenda, London or her opinion on who Dylan should be with.

Dylan sighed and looked over at her, he didn't snap at her like he had done in the past and Iris slowly looked over at him with an apologetic smile, "I am sorry." She shook her head.

Dylan set his eyes back on the road, "Have you talked to her recently?" he said softly.

Iris was surprised, usually when Iris butted in Dylan's love life he snapped at her and told her to mind her own business but he was actually nice, he was actually asking about her and in the 3 years they had been apart he had never asked even though he did know that his mother and Brenda still talked to one another. "Brenda?" Iris asked knowing he was asking about her but liked to embed her name in his brain.

Dylan looked down quickly before bringing his eyes back to the road. "Yeah…I invited Bren to the wedding but she isn't coming."

"I know." Iris said short as she looked out the window.

"She told you?"

Iris looked over at her son, "You know how I feel about Brenda Dylan. You know how close we are. Yes I have talked to her and yes she told me you invited her to the wedding."

Dylan took a deep breath, knowing that Iris never told him what Brenda had ever said about him. They just had that kind of relationship and Brenda knew she could count on Iris in that way. "I am not going to ask for information or details but…" Dylan stopped at a stop light and looked over at his mother who had her eyes on him like she was trying to read his thoughts, his glance was sad and empty, "Is she alright?" Dylan looked away from her and stared straight ahead.

Iris looked at him and squinted a little as she noticed his demeanor, "You're still in love with her?" she said softly and equally surprised as if she just had a light bulb go off in her head.

Dylan shook his head with an uncomfortable smirk, "I just asked if she was ok. That's all."

Iris smirked as he met her stare, "Ok…no…she really isn't ok."

Dylan's head whipped away from the road to his mother, "Because of the wedding or is something wrong?" Dylan's tone changed and Iris had to look out the window quickly so he wouldn't see her smile. She wasn't going to lie, talking to Dylan about Brenda was something she had always wanted but until now Dylan never really asked about her. He knew little things here and there because Iris would bring her up.

She played it off, "She is touring, I talked to her a couple days ago she was in Switzerland and going to Italy in a day or so. She is working on a new play."

Dylan nodded, "So why isn't she ok then?"

"Dylan...." Iris shook her head, "Why don't you call her…I have her new cell phone number. You could ask her yourself…"

"Mom…I just want to know how she is doing. I doubt she wants to talk to me. She isn't coming to the wedding, so I doubt…"

"Dylan…I know you think I am ancient and maybe I am getting there but I do know a few things about relationships. Why do you think she isn't coming to the wedding?"

Dylan shrugged innocently. "Her tour?"

Iris rolled her eyes subtly, "Men are dense no matter the generation." She mumbled but Dylan heard, "Why would Brenda want to watch you marry someone else Dylan? She is in love with you. She always has been." Iris's tone changed as she became frustrated and looked out the window, "No matter what foolish thing you do to her."

"Did she say that?" Dylan's eyes widened. "She said she was in love with me?"

"She didn't have too." Iris continued to look out the window as Dylan pulled into the hotel. "Sometimes you are just like your father…its frightening."

Dylan found himself smirking as he got out of the car handing his keys to the valet. He didn't utter another word as he made his way to the front desk of the BelAge. He had reserved a room for Iris there instead of the Beverly Wilshire because it was the only place she would stay. She liked a certain suite, non smoking, over looking the hills. She told Dylan she liked its energy. Every room was decorated Fung Shai, it had the herbal tea she loved, they cooked organic, they had mediation classes and was walking distance to the mind gym she frequented every chance she came to California.

After checking her in, Dylan led the way to her suite. They both walked silently but it was obvious they both had more to talk about. Iris being nosy and maybe not your typical mother but still had an opinion and questions and Dylan had a million and one questions concerning Brenda. To Iris's surprise after entering her room Dylan sat on the couch as he leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees looking toward the ground. Iris looked at him for several moments wondering why he was there still. She thought for sure he would settle her in and take off claiming he would call her later or take her to dinner, the usual distant Dylan, at least the post Brenda Dylan.

Iris slowly walked over and sat on the chair near him, "What's going on Dylan? You seem bothered and preoccupied, you didn't bite my head off when bringing up Brenda and you never ask about our conversations." Dylan looked up and looked at his mother, "You seem like you have lost weight which in my opinion you can't afford to lose…doesn't Kelly feed you?"

Dylan smirked and shook his head, "I wouldn't expect you of all people to have the 1950's mentality of a woman feeding her man."

Iris smiled shyly, "I may be new age but I haven't lost all touch with how the world works sometimes and how men are. I also know you are sucker for food and a good home cooked meal." Iris kept her smile. "How is Kelly by the way?"

Dylan's smile faded as he stared at his mother. He shook his head and sighed, "I know what you're doing. Don't pretend you care."

Iris leaned back in her chair, "I am not pretending Dylan, Kelly is a nice person. I don't have anything against her." Iris said honestly.

"Oh come on Iris, I know you have never been all that fond of Kelly. It doesn't take a genius to know you have always preferred Brenda over Kelly."

Iris took a deep breath through her nose, "I have never said anything bad about Kelly and honestly Dylan I don't really know Kelly all that well. She hasn't really ever opened up to me or tried to reach out as Brenda did."

Dylan laughed lightly, "That's because of the blatancy of your preference for Brenda. Kelly has always been insecure about my relationship with Bren and honestly I wouldn't have reached out to you either if I were her. When we first started dating you couldn't stop talking about Brenda, how did you expect her to feel?"

Iris shrugged, "Well, I didn't like the way you two got together but that was years ago." Iris tried to defend her actions even though Dylan couldn't be more right. She had never been warm with Kelly, she was never mean and she never told Dylan directly because after all Iris was a mother, maybe not your conventional mother but she knew the more she pushed Brenda on Dylan and showed her opposing view of Kelly the more Dylan would move towards Kelly.

"Come on mom, I never will fully understand the connection you and Bren have, you are totally different. What do you even have in common?"

"Besides our love for you?" Iris kept a straight face as she figured if Dylan was being talkative, she was going to take advantage. There were more than a few things she thought about this wedding and she had planned on telling him whether he liked it or not.

Dylan looked at her intently and then looked down, "You don't know what you're talking about. Bren ended it with me. She wanted me out and so I did what she wanted."

Iris shook her head looking toward the ground, "Maybe so." She looked back at him, "Some people do things to protect themselves even if it's the farthest thing from what they truly want."

"What is that suppose to mean?" Dylan said frustrated getting up. "This is so typical."

Iris held up her hands, "I am just saying…you hurt her Dylan…she didn't want to go through that again. She may act like she is strong but…"

"Don't try and act like you know her better than me." Dylan raised his voice.

"I know I don't." Iris spoke calmly. "Can't you see the connection between you two? Can't you see that you belong together? Can't you see that your relationship with Brenda isn't over?" Dylan stared at his mother defeated as she spoke to him, "If you marry her Dylan…it will be."

Dylan stood there helpless, he took a deep breath. He turned toward the door, "I got go." He said quickly with little emotion in his voice.

Iris stood up, "Where are you going?"

Dylan turned around tiredly, these things were already flowing through Dylan's head and Iris wasn't helping anything, "I have to go by the Beverly Wilshire and give them a deposit…for the wedding." He concluded.

Iris stared at her son, she knew there were a million things running through his head and she may have hit a nerve with him. She decided to pull back, "Dylan…are you happy? Because my feeling for Brenda or Kelly or who I think you belong with aside…you're my son and I love you. I want only happiness for you and I truly mean that…but are you?"

Dylan looked at Iris sadly and shrugged, "I used to think so."

Iris walked closer to him and placed her hand gently on his cheek as he looked at her, "I just don't want you to end up like me. I am not going to say at one time I didn't love your father but…there is a difference between being in love with someone and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them then loving the idea of it…loving the safeness of it. I stayed with your father as long as I did because he took care of most of my needs. I was taken care of and I was safe and I never wanted to be alone. But as time went on I realized that I was better without him and he wasn't all that in love with me either." She brought her hand down but kept her motherly stare. "I am afraid you're marrying Kelly because you feel like you have an obligation too or that maybe since Brenda isn't a part of your life anymore that maybe…" Iris stopped afraid to say it. She really didn't want him to be angry with her and she did truly mean what she said about wanting him to be happy.

Dylan looked down, "Maybe what?" he said with a sigh.

"That maybe…you don't want to be alone either and you're settling, it's like that old song from my time says." Iris smiled, "If you can't be with the one you love…love the one you're with."

Dylan took a deep breath and looked down. After the silence grew between them he leaned in and gently kissed his mom on the cheek, "I'll call you later." He said softly.

Iris nodded, "Ok." She tilted her head and watched Dylan leave. She had hoped he at least heard some of the things that she had said to him and even thought Dylan wasn't easy to read she had a feeling he did.

**

Kelly sat sadly on a stool near the register. After her fight with Dylan she had gone to Donna's store to get advice. She had told her what was going on with Dylan and was interested in what her long time friend had to say about it.

"So…what do I do?" Kelly pleaded after the customer was rung up and was heading for the door.

Donna shrugged, "I don't know Kel, I can't tell you that."

"But Donna…you're married, and you have an even longer history with David. If David had told you about this stuff before your wedding…would you have married him?"

Donna thought about it, "I guess it would depend on who it was…and if the feelings were still truly there. Honestly Kelly, it sounds like Dylan was just trying to come clean. He hasn't talked to Brenda in three years."

Kelly looked down, "I know…but I can't help but feel insecure about it and to know that he was engaged to her…"

"You were engaged to Brandon." Donna added. "Do you still have feelings for him?"

"It's different." Kelly shook her head.

Donna laughed lightly, "How exactly?"

"Because…Brandon and I decided together not to get married…we didn't have a huge falling out like Brenda and Dylan did. It was mutual and even though it was hard we both moved on. We had some sort of closure together, they haven't. Thinking about the two of them together drives me crazy. I just wish I could talk to Brenda." Kelly said as she looked down. "I called her and left a message earlier but she hasn't called me back yet."

Donna looked at Kelly with wide eyes, "What did you say?"

"Well nothing, I just told her it was important and to call me back."

"Ok let me rephrase, what are you going to say?" Donna was shocked and thought it was a bit weird.

"I am not sure exactly but …I just felt like I had to talk to her about it. See how she feels, I mean part of me in a weird way, wants to hear her side." Kelly shrugged, "I don't know. I mean don't you think its better to find out now if there is something more between them?"

"Of course but Kelly, it doesn't really matter how Brenda feels about Dylan…its how Dylan feels about you and about her. I just think maybe talking to Brenda about Dylan is inappropriate. I mean how Dylan feels is your business but how she feels, isn't."

Kelly thought about it and agreed, "I guess your right."

Donna looked at Kelly, "Can I ask you something? What is it that you really have a problem with…the fact that Dylan lied to you about his relationship, when they broke up and the fact that they were engaged…or the fact that its Brenda?"

"What is that suppose to mean?" Kelly was a little bothered by the question.

Donna shook her head as she tried to explain, "What I am saying is that…when Dylan married Toni…you were jealous but you moved past it. You even went to his wedding. Now your finding out that Dylan and Brenda were engaged and they didn't even get married and you are thinking about calling off your wedding, a wedding that you have been planning for a year? I mean…Kelly." Donna took a deep breath, "If its ok for you to have feelings for Brandon, even if they are just a caring, he'll always have a piece of my heart feeling, then why is it so wrong for Dylan? Or is it because it involves Brenda?"

Kelly stared at Donna and gently bit the inside of her lips, she shrugged, "I don't know."

"You know what I think…I think you should talk to Dylan, find out where his heart is and just remember…he chose you…him and Brenda may have been engaged but you my darling have been engaged what…three times." Donna started laughing.

Kelly grabbed a few M&M's from the dish on the counter and playfully threw them at Donna.

Donna giggled and tried to dodge them, "What? You have."

"Thank Don." Kelly rolled her eyes and tossed a few in her mouth.

_So how am I doing? Do you love freakin Iris or do you love Iris? I know most of these chapters feels like Dylan is confused and in love with both Kelly and Brenda and the truth is Dylan hasn't seen or talked to Brenda in 3 years. That's a long time. I know it feels as though Dylan is conflicted or in love with both of them equally and if that was the case I personally wouldn't want Brenda to even give him the time of day. But when Brenda gets to L.A, next chapter I am thinking ;P it will be much different. He wont seem so conflicted anymore. Most of these feeling is coming up with him and she isn't even around, just wait until she is. I am not saying it will be an easy reunion obviously but his feeling will be more black and white and not so grey. Please review or I wont post LTC or the Brenda chapter...hahaha now I am turning to bribery HAHA_

_: )_


	7. Chapter 7

_Heads up, puke inducing scene in the beginning. I kept it minimal and things are getting good. _

**Chapter 7 I Should Have Known Better**

Dylan lifted his feet one by one up the spiraling staircase of the beach house. After he left Iris and the hotel he had driven up Mulholland again and tried to clear his head. It didn't help much considering Mulholland always reminded him of Brenda. He wasn't sure if it was because she always noticed the beauty of the city or all the times they had spent up there making out in their teen years but even the smell reminded him of her. Dylan had no idea what he was doing and he didn't want to admit that his mother, the one he had always laughed at and rolled his eyes at her eccentric outlooks on life, had hit it on the nose. Dylan had spent his whole life being alone, he had spent most of his energy pushing people away. Now that he was older, and he thought about settling down, it was hard to think about anything else because he didn't want to get back to that place. He didn't want to be alone and he didn't want to push people away anymore. Dylan had always thought that he was strong, in the grand scheme of things anyway. He may have been weak with his addictions but he had gone through a lot of hardships and he had overcome them, for the most part. Why was it so hard to run back to her? Why after Brenda had her time on tour to cool down hadn't he gone back on his knees begging that he was sorry? And now, he was about to marry someone else…someone that he loved but he wasn't sure what that love actually meant. His feet felt heavy as he walked slowly up that staircase. He had dreaded coming home at all but figured if he had showed up at the hotel at Iris's door that he would have to listen to her talk about what was off and what was missing from him and Kelly. She would nonchalantly drill Brenda into his mind when in reality Dylan wanted to take her out of it. It would make him feel less guilty about Kelly and maybe would make him actually excited to move towards something.

He took a deep breath and slowly unlocked the back door. He saw her sitting on the couch in silence. He knew she was busy in thought and at that moment Dylan kind of wished he was listening to Iris and not about to talk to Kelly.

He slowly closed the door and started taking off his jacket one arm at a time. "Hi." He said quietly as he laid it on the chair in front of him.

"Hey." Kelly said equally as quiet.

They looked at each other and didn't say anything for a moment.

"Where have you been?" Kelly broke the silence first.

"I was with Iris…then I took a drive." Dylan looked down and found himself kicking his foot slowly acting childish and shy.

Kelly's voice turned curt, "We have to talk about this Dylan…this isn't something we can just ignore."

Dylan nodded, "I know." He slowly moved sitting in the chair he was standing in back of. He had chosen it wisely, out of swinging arms and slaps…not next to her.

"What are we doing Dylan? I just feel like your not here, your mind is somewhere else. Are you having second thoughts about marrying me?"

Dylan saw the tears beginning to form in her eyes and it did break his heart. Dylan looked down it was something he never got used to, having women break down in front of him, it almost made him defensive. Instead he began with honesty, "I am." He looked back at her waiting for the storm.

Kelly swallowed hard, "Why?" she said sadly.

"Its not you Kel, I just have been thinking a lot about everything. You know me…commitment wasn't always my strongest suit."

Kelly slowly lowered her face into her hands. Dylan looked at her with sadness; this wasn't going to be easy for complete honesty. He wasn't saying he wanted to call it off. He moved next to her and wrapped his arm around her in which she turned to hug him. "Kelly…I didn't say I didn't want to marry you, I just said I had a lot on my mind." He comforted her.

She looked up slowly, "You didn't?"

"No…I paid the deposit." Dylan said hoping that would make her feel a little better. "You just have to be a little patient with me Kel, if anyone had a future as a bachelor for life it would have been me."

Kelly nodded as she wiped under her nose, "So…the wedding is still on?" she asked cautiously.

Dylan nodded, "It was never off."

Kelly smiled at him and they leaned in and pecked each other briefly. As Kelly leaned out she smiled lightly, "How was Iris? Is she excited?"

Dylan lowered his arm off her shoulder and almost laughed, "Oh…yeah…she is great…" Dylan wasn't about to tell Kelly Iris wasn't jumping for joy.

Kelly didn't seem to notice he hadn't answered her question and got up, "I am going to take a bath…want to join me?" She looked at him flirty.

Dylan lifted his hand, "Sounds more than tempting Kel but I am just going to lay down. I have a headache." He lied.

Kelly smiled and gave him a nod. She hadn't remembered the last time Dylan had refused to join her in the tub so she figured he must really be in pain. She turned and moved toward the bathroom leaving Dylan with more thoughts. He instantly regretted the conversation, nothing had really been talked about, nothing had been straightened out. There was no doubt in his mind that he was settling and Dylan felt like a complete asshole for being such a coward. What the hell was his problem? Why couldn't he get her out of his head? Was he really still in love with her? Or was he in desperate need of closure?

**

Another week had past and Brenda's plane was taxing into to LAX airport. She had been fine the whole flight until Billy decided to fall asleep on her shoulder. Billy was an actor who had insisted he sit next to her, he insisted on carrying her bags for her, he had asked her out a million times and was hopelessly obsessed with her. He was kind of cute, short though and Brenda only thought of him…well as a total annoyance. As the plane eased up slowly to the terminal there was a small bump and Billy's arms moved around her waist as he cuddled into her. Brenda held up her hands sort of disgusted.

"Uh…Billy." She nudged him, "Uh." Brenda tried to shove him now.

Jared smiled at her, he was Brenda's costar and he was sitting across the aisle from her. He got up smoothly knowing the plane hadn't come to a complete stop yet. "Alright buddy, nice try." Jared pulled Billy away from Brenda.

"Oh…sorry…I must have dozed off." Billy said rubbing his eyes.

"I am sure." Jared said shaking his head as he moved to sit back down in his seat.

Brenda looked at him and smiled. "_Thanks_" she mouthed.

He smiled back at her and gave her a nod. Jared was sweet, handsome, totally buff and completely not interested in her. Brenda looked back down as the nervousness hit her as the plane came to a stop, she was here, she suddenly felt nauseous. People swiftly started getting up pulling bags down from above acting like they were actually going to rummage out anytime soon. Brenda slowly bookmarked her book; she would have to read the page over again because if she was actually reading it she hadn't absorbed it. It was fiction, very imaginative about mystical vampires and it wasn't normally what Brenda would have read but it was given to her by her neighbor Beth and she embraced it thinking anything other than romance would be good. _Well note to self_, Brenda thought, _Kill Beth_. The book was a love story and just to rub salt in her wounds, it was a love triangle book. She found it rather good and now she didn't want to carry on with it but it captured her within the first couple chapters. Brenda shook her head as people did finally start filing off the plane. Brenda waited for people, she wasn't in a hurry, she didn't even have anyone to pick her up. She wanted it that way. As the last person filed off the plane she stood up and noticed Jared had done the same thing.

He smiled at her and raised an eyebrow. "Guess we both weren't sure where the fire was huh?"

Brenda smiled back, "Yeah…I am in no hurry." She got up and turned her back towards him as she lifted her smaller suitcase from above.

"Yeah me neither…let me help you with that." Jared got up quickly and helped her lower it to the ground.

Brenda looked at him oddly, _what was his problem_? He had never really talked to her before. They had kissed, they shared scenes but besides being married in the play, he had never given her much more than a few glances. "Thanks?" Brenda didn't know why it came out in a question.

"No problem." He let her lead the way out of the plane.

As they got into the terminal he continued to walk with her, "So…want to share a cab to the hotel?" Jared said nonchalantly.

Brenda was even more set back, "Ah…that would have been nice actually but I am not staying at the Beverly Wilshire."

"Oh…why not?" Jared looked disappointed.

Brenda noticed, "Um…I used to live in L.A. I just felt more comfortable at the Beverly Royale." She kept her answer short.

"I see…you are a rebel aren't you? Trying to be different? You like to be unique...or...maybe just completely anti social." Jared smiled again showing his perfect white straight teeth that Brenda couldn't help looking at.

Brenda playfully shrugged, "I don't know…I just like it, I guess."

They had come to the baggage claim now and stood silently waiting for their luggage. Brenda glanced quickly up at Jared, she was so confused. She had been working on this play for months and had known of him for years and even though she had thought he was handsome he never talked to her. Why now? Brenda noticed her bag. She moved quickly but felt Jared's hand graze hers when he lifted her bag effortlessly off the carousel. She pulled it back quickly.

"Thanks again?" Brenda laughed, "I am not used to all this gentlemanly things…you're spoiling me" Brenda joked. She looked down quickly, was she flirting with him?

Jared just smiled at her with his perfect teeth and dimples. He was tan, maybe Greek or Italian. He had big green eyes and she was jealous of his dark rich eyelashes that were long and sexy. She watched him grab his bag quickly, "Do you have any more?" he asked.

Brenda caught herself looking at his arms. They were perfectly toned and outlined. He wasn't too muscular but just enough. "Uh…no that's it." She shook her head hoping he hadn't caught her. Brenda had fantasized about having a date to Kelly and Dylan's wedding, someone who was just as sexy and incredible looking as Dylan. She of course in her fantasy was over him and she pictured herself walking in with confidence with someone like Jared on her arm. Making Dylan wish he hadn't left and making him squirm at the sight that she was someone else's Bren, not just his. But it was just a fantasy, having someone like Jared to take to the wedding wouldn't take away the fact that she wasn't over Dylan. The fact that she might have this hot stud on her arm didn't take away the fact that she was suppose to be Mrs. McKay, she was suppose to be the girl on the alter or on the beach or wherever her and Dylan decided to get married, in the beautiful white dress. She had fantasized about that so many more times and regardless of how much satisfaction it would bring her to stroll in their with that confidence and replacement hunk on her arm. It didn't give her Dylan and being in L.A. again was just making it that much more real and sadly…she hadn't even exited the airport yet.

"Bren?" Brenda's attention shot up hearing a guy call her by her nickname, someone other that her brother. Jared smiled bigger, "I can call you Bren.. right?"

Brenda nodded her head quickly snapping out of it. "Oh… yeah…of course, sorry just spacing out. Instant jet lag." Brenda let out an uncomfortable laugh. "What did you say?"

"I was just wondering…if maybe I could get your number? Since we won't be at the same hotel…I have never been to L.A. so any recommendations for drinks, or food, or if maybe you want to go with me…whatever…" Jared looked down shyly.

"Oh." Brenda said surprised, "Sure…of course." Brenda began digging in her purse. He instantly handed her a piece of paper and pen.

She smiled and quickly jotted down her cell handing it back to him. "Here you go…I would like that." She said softly.

"Good." He smiled, "Here's mine." He handed her the lower half where he had ripped after jotting his down.

Brenda took a deep breath looking down from his gaze, "You know…I am surprised…we have been working together for a while now and this is maybe like the first time you have ever talked to me." Brenda laughed shyly.

Jared too looked down embarrassed as he kept his smile and pursed his lips together with a nod, "Yeah…I am kind of shy but I actually asked around a little about you."

"Asked about me?"

"I thought you were married, I remember seeing a wedding ring on your finger when we did Much Ado About Nothing a few years back, but I asked around and found out that you weren't...so I thought why not."

Brenda swallowed hard, "Ah…right…of course." Her smile faded.

"Unless you were going out with Billy…then I may have to challenge him to a brawl." He said joking trying to change the awkward silence that had surrounded them.

Brenda let out a laugh; it did help the silence, "Nice a little theater humor and that would be a no."

They both shared a laugh as they found themselves in the taxi line. One pulled up quickly and Jared was in front of her in line. "Um…is the Beverly Royale close to the Beverly Wilshire?"

Brenda nodded, "Yeah about a couple blocks."

He reached out and touched her hand, "Well come on, my treat…we can drop you off first…no point in spending money for no reason."

Brenda hesitated and then shrugged giving in, "Ok…that sounds good." The taxi driver went to take her bags but Jared had already scooped them up and started lowering them into the trunk. He returned opening the door for her, "Mmm…again spoiling me." Now she knew she was flirting.

"Hey…I am the oldest of 4 and the only boy. That's one thing I was taught at a very early age. Romance them and spoil the hell out of them." He joked.

Brenda felt her face flush as he scooted in next to her. She knew they both had kept their gaze a little too long. They finally looked straight ahead as they took off. Maybe this secret trip to L.A. didn't have to be lonely. Maybe Jared could make her forget about what was happening in a couple weeks, if only temporarily. It was a hell of a lot better than moping in her hotel room.

**

Brenda found herself looking over her shoulder every time she had left the hotel. It was silly and now it was getting dark and she was slightly tempted to keep her sunglasses on while in the hotel but decided that was ridiculous. She was making her way home from the theater. Her first performance was the following night and she wanted to drop off some of her things so she didn't have to worry about it. The doors opened on her floor and she began to fish through her oversize purse looking for her key. She walked slowly with her head down and stopped suddenly not being able to find it. She heard a familiar voice.

"Brenda?" Iris said slowly and dragged out.

Brenda's heart stopped and it may have actually dropped out of her butt, her hand draped in her bag dead and numb. She slowly looked up staring straight ahead not turning around. Her heart began to beat again, almost jump starting and then she felt like it was about to rip our of her chest.

"Brenda honey…is that you?" Iris said again as she stood outside her door.

Brenda closed her eyes, squeezing them shut. She swallowed hard and turned slowly toward the voice she knew almost as well as her own mothers. She wanted to cry, of course Iris would be at the Beverly Royale, she knew it was her favorite and even worse she was in L.A., she was in L.A. for _his_ wedding. She felt light headed, she stared at her for a minute and saw Iris smiling at her with big eyes, she was maybe five feet from her. She tried to swallow the excess saliva that was building in her mouth. She started to smile but dizziness came over her and then…it went black.

_HEHEHE lol lol lol REVIEW! Sorry about the K/D beginning but do you even think they talked about anything? I meant for it to be a scene like them, pointless and stupid lol Anyway I needed them to get back together so to speak. Let me know what your thinking. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 There Goes The Plan**

"Miss Walsh?" a unfamiliar man's voice said in a loud tone. "Miss Walsh?" Brenda felt a gentle tap on her cheek.

"Brenda honey…its Iris, can you hear me?" Brenda heard clearly.

Brenda lay with her eyes closed trying to open her eyes. They felt heavy but she felt conscious.

"James…maybe we should call an ambulance, she has been out for over 5 minutes." Iris said worried.

Brenda heard the man sigh, "Brenda…I'm James…I am a friend of the McKay's, can you hear me honey." James looked over at Iris, "All her vitals are fine, I think she will come around."

Brenda heard ambulance and forced her eyes open. She looked at the man strangely as things started to get clearer. Her eyes shifted to Iris slowly, "Iris?" she whispered.

"Yes…honey, are you alright?"

Brenda brought her palm to her head as she tried to sit up, "Did I faint?" she said confused.

Iris let out a small laugh, "Yes…I have to admit, I have never had that effect on people." She reached and set her hand on her shoulder gently pushing herself back down. "Maybe you should stay lying down for a couple of minutes…did you want some tea or anything?"

Brenda shook her head and glanced back at James, she gave him an uncomfortable smile, "Hi."

"Hello…you ok?" James smiled back.

"Oh…yeah…I am good." Brenda pulled it off now feeling less dizzy she sat up and looked down. She felt mortified suddenly. "I haven't eaten anything…and I have been so busy…"

Iris scooted back on the couch sitting next to her, she slowly brought her hand up and pushed Brenda's hair behind her ear in a motherly fashion, "And here I thought I had something to do with it." Iris joked as she gave her a wide grin.

"Well…maybe a little." Brenda smiled back to her as she leaned her head on her shoulder, "I was just surprised is all…I'm sorry." She said quietly.

"Brenda…this is James, he is an old friend of mine, he works here at the hotel. I have known James for God…how long has it been?"

James smiled, "At least 25 years."

Brenda moved her head off Iris's shoulder, "Wow…nice to meet you." Brenda held out her hand to greet him.

"You too…I have heard many good things about you. This one talks about you all the time."

Brenda looked at Iris and smirked, she looked down as James continued, "Mr. McKay…talked about you as well." Brenda's head snapped up.

"Alright beautiful ladies, I must get going…you guys should come down for dinner tonight." James moved toward the door.

"Bye dear…see you later." Iris called out.

Brenda began to get up, "I should get going." She said nervously.

"Relax Brenda…Dylan isn't coming here."

Brenda sighed, "No…I just have an early day tomorrow…and…uh…I should…"

"Brenda…sit down…talk to me." Brenda did what she was asked of, Iris reached over placing her hand over Brenda's, "I promise, he isn't coming here, we had talked dinner plans but he said he was going to call first."

Brenda looked down sadly. She swallowed hard, "I thought maybe…you would stay at the Beverly Wilshire…I should have known." Brenda shook her head and smirked. "I am sorry about earlier, you know I love you Iris, it was just a shock, I am not sure what happened."

"No harm dear…I am just glad you were not hurt." Iris cupped her hand around Brenda's cheek, "How are you?"

Brenda shrugged, "I am good…I am here for a play."

"I figured…and let me guess…no one knows you are here?"

Brenda shook her head and smiled, she looked down again, Brenda had kept in touch with Iris but hadn't seen her in years. Her eyes reminded her of Dylan's and she found Iris hard to make eye contact with. She loved her to death but it was difficult to see Iris as just Iris and not Dylan's mother.

"It's so good to see you…you have no idea how happy I am you are here…and only 3 doors down no less." Brenda looked at Iris, she looked like she was up to something, "It's like…fate…destiny... divine intervention." Iris said softly thinking to herself.

Brenda smirked and let out a small laugh, "Ah…no its not…I know how your mind works Iris and no…I plan to get through this week without being spotted and back to London to my real life."

Iris exhaled through her nose, "You're stubborn…say you will at least have dinner with me." Iris almost pouted.

Brenda shook her head, "No I don't trust you." She was only half kidding.

Iris lifted her hand, "I promise…I wont utter a word to him and…I will even call you on your cell to let you know if he is coming…I promise." She crossed her heart. She saw Brenda's hesitation, "Brenda." She said almost sternly, "You know Dylan…if I call and cancel out on dinner and tell him I am going to go to my mediation and to sleep early, he won't come here."

Brenda took a deep breath, she was right, knowing Dylan he would have been relieved probably. "Fine…here in the hotel though…no venturing."

Iris smiled, "Alright…oh honey I am so glad you are here…I miss you."

"I miss you too." Brenda said sadly. They leaned together and embraced. Brenda closed her eyes thinking about how much she did truly love this woman. They had a connection; they both knew it and it just proved right again. Brenda didn't have to give Iris her explanations and lies. She knew what was going on and even though the initial shock of Iris being there was still lingering, Brenda was happy she was there too.

**

Dylan looked down at his phone hitting ignore,_ I am on my way up, whatever it is can wait_, he thought as he stepped into the elevator.

Iris set down her phone and exhaled. She shrugged thinking nothing of it. Dylan hadn't called so he probably wasn't planning on coming anyway. Iris glanced in the mirror and draped a purple crystal necklace around her neck. It would bring her luck, luck in trying to get Brenda to see Dylan, luck for herself to try to get her plan in motion. Brenda being in L.A. was fate and she wasn't going to lose the chance to have Dylan and Brenda reconnect and see each other, she truly believed that was all it was going to take. She already knew Dylan was having thoughts of her and it was obvious Brenda felt the same way. It was just going to take some persuasion, some of Iris's famous wisdom. She walked into the living room of her suite heading for the door. She opened it up with a smile expecting Brenda but to her surprise saw Dylan.

"Uh…what are you doing here?" Iris said as Dylan moved past her and let himself in.

"What do you mean…I thought we had plans?" Dylan said confused.

"Actually…I was calling to cancel…I have other…plans." Iris said nervously closing the door quickly.

"With who? I saw you called but I was already here." Dylan stood looking at his mother, something was going on.

"Ah…with an old friend. We were going to grab some dinner…catch up. They should be here soon, you and I can have dinner tomorrow." Iris smiled and moved toward the door again to give Dylan the hint.

"An old friend? They?" Dylan smirked, "What's going on mom? Do you have a date?" he raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

Iris sighed, "No…but…get out of here because…" Iris decided to lie, "Fine...maybe I do…now go before you'll scare him away." Iris set one hand on the doorknob.

Dylan laughed out loud, "Oh hell no…you think I am going to let some guy take out my mother without me even meeting him? No way Iris, you're even more ridiculous than I thought you were."

"Dylan…its not a big deal." Iris regretted the lie.

"Sorry…not going to happen, so where did you meet him?"

Iris sighed, "I have known him for awhile and whenever we are in the same city we look each other up." she said innocently.

Dylan cringed, "Eh…mother…do you have a booty call?"

Iris set her hand on her hip, "And what in the world is a booty call?"

Dylan couldn't help but smirk, hearing the words booty call coming from his mothers mouth sounded hilarious and creepy. "Never mind." he murmured with a shake of his head.

Iris's eyes widened, "Are you talking about sex?"

"Mom…stop…never mind…seriously…I don't want to know." Dylan walked toward the door.

Iris laughed enjoying her son's uneasy expression and disgusted demeanor.

A knock on the door brought her back from her fun and to reality.

"Well…well…look at that I do get to meet him." Dylan squinted his eyes protectively, now knowing possibly more than he ever wanted to.

"I don't need the beds turned down, come back later." Iris called out.

Brenda looked at the door confused and it only took her one second to get it. "Shit" she whispered as she turned toward the hallway. She hurried not in a full run but definitely faster than a walk toward her room. She heard the door open and panic set in.

"Mom…come on…I will be good." Dylan said opening the door further. He looked around not seeing anyone. His head looked left and only saw a woman.

Brenda stood in front of her door fishing manically in her purse for her key card. _Fuck fuck fuck_, she thought. And then the worst thing happened as she lost her grip on her purse. It tumbled to the ground as the contents spilled out to the floor making a crashing sound. Brenda dropped to her knees and began swiftly trying to pick up her things.

Dylan noticed the frantic women with her back to them. Iris couldn't help but smirk as she saw Brenda hovering to the floor picking up her effects. Dylan sighed and started to move towards her. He gently knelt down and began to help her pick up her stuff. "Here let me help you." Dylan said nicely.

Brenda kept her eyes toward the ground as she didn't turn to acknowledge him. She knew there was no out in this.

Dylan slowly met Brenda's hand as they both reached for the wallet. Dylan got there first as he slowly examined it and instantly it became familiar. He looked up slowly almost speechless as he looked at the brunette who was still frantically shoving her belongings back in her purse. No it cant be, Dylan thought. "Brenda?" he almost whispered without much hesitation.

Brenda closed her eyes and didn't turn around, instead she froze. His voice sent a chill down her spine. At this point, she wasn't exactly sure why.

Dylan saw her hesitation and taking a deep breath he took in her scent. He was positive it was her, "Bren?" he said a bit louder than before.

Brenda sighed slowly opening her eyes. She moved a couple inches to the side towards him. She suddenly felt a hand move the hair that lay in front of her face, across her shoulder to her back. She knew the side of her face was visible now but she still didn't look at him.

Dylan exhaled as he stared at her in disbelief, he had been truly beating himself up about her for weeks and here she was. Without hesitation or thought he brought his hand back up and gently brought it to her head. He was hoping it would make her look at him but instead Brenda closed her eyes again feeling his touch. Dylan tilted his head sadly and moved his hand down the back of her head stopping at her neck. He gave it a gentle squeeze, "Bren…please look at me." he whispered.

Brenda swallowed hard and looked over at him. Their eyes met in a powerful intense stare. Neither one of them smiled or said anything. Their breaths became weak and shallow. Brenda looked away from his stare quickly as she shoved the remainder of her belongings into her purse grabbing the hotel key and raising to an upright swiftly. She felt the tears and she wasn't going to allow herself to do this, not now, there was no way she was about to break down in front of him. She nervously jumbled with the hotel key trying to insert in the door.

Dylan was in shock, he slowly stood up looking at her. He could not for the life of him take his eyes off her. In the three years since he had seen her she was even more pleasing to his eyes than she used to be. Which Dylan honestly never thought possible. He found his eyes moving down her frame, she was wearing tight faded blue jeans, some kind of stiletto boots. His eyes trailed up and caught her petite frame, the black tank top clung tightly to her chest and even though she was sideways Dylan could easily see the slope of her breast and his gaze ended on the curve of her neck. "Bren…you look amazing." he murmured.

Brenda smirked and finally heard the two beeps as the door unlocked, she opened it slightly and looked over at him. "I wish I can say the same about you." she said coldly. She went to turn quickly but something pulled her back.

"No…don't leave." he whispered.

Brenda pulled herself from his grip and walked into her hotel room. She turned holding the door, "Tell your mother we will have to catch up another night, suddenly I lost my appetite." And with that Brenda closed the door on Dylan.

He instantly reached up and knocked, "Bren? Please talk to me." he begged. After a few moments Dylan reached and gently placed his hand on the door again this time leaving it there. He sighed sadly and leaned his forehead against it.

Iris who had witnessed from a far began to walk toward him. She set her hand on Dylan's shoulder and he quickly lifted his head off the door and looked at her. "Come on…just give her some time." she said softly. "Let's go get something to eat…let seeing you settle in."

Dylan nodded as he stared sadly into Iris's eyes. She linked her arm around hers and led him down the hallway.

**

Dylan sat silently across from Iris at dinner. He looked at his plate moving his fork around his pasta dish mashing it together. He wasn't hungry, he didn't even want to go to dinner but Dylan knew that Iris was right, Brenda needed to calm down and he wasn't leaving yet.

Iris took a deep breath and set her fork gently down on her plate. It made a noise and Dylan looked up at her, "Is the salmon not good?" he said with no emotion.

"The salmon is delicious." Iris answered his question as she tried to wrap her words around in her head afraid they would come out wrong. "Dylan…what's going on? Brenda will talk to you."

Dylan exhaled, "You knew she was here? And you didn't tell me?" he said hurt.

"Dylan…I just ran into her today…she told me not too." Iris looked down picking up her fork again.

"What is she doing here?"

"A tour…her play starts tomorrow…at The Beverly Playhouse."

"How long is she here?"

"I am not exactly sure, I think week." Iris almost nervously

Dylan smirked and shook his head, he let out a sigh, "I cant believe she was going to come here and not tell anyone."

Iris pushed her plate towards the center of the table and leaned on her elbows in the table, "Look Dylan…you obviously need to talk to her, you obviously still love her…"

Dylan looked at her quickly like she had unveiled some important fact of life Dylan was clueless too. "Mom…" he shook his head.

"Dylan…listen to me, its obvious how you feel about her. Don't you see what her being here means? It's fate…it's trying to tell you something, will you please stop fighting it and admit it." Iris lowered her voice and leaned in a bit more, "You know damn well there was more than a hello meeting upstairs."

Dylan tilted his head frustrated, "Yeah well there wasn't a hello, that explains it right? Come on mom if anything this just confirmed how over Brenda is of me. Maybe I needed this closure, before the wedding, all these feelings and thoughts I was having maybe it was fate but in a different way then you think." Dylan tried to tell himself that.

Iris looked at her son annoyed, "Dylan…please…I know what I saw. You love her…and if you are in love with her, you shouldn't be marrying someone else. Plain and simple." she stared at her son hoping it was sinking in.

Dylan shook his head, "She wont even talk to me."

Iris reached across the table and set her hand gently on his arm, "Fight for her."

**

Dylan walked Iris back to her room after Dylan, they had talked about the past and about Brenda. He listened patiently taking her theories and thoughts to make her happy even though his own thoughts were running wildly through his head.

"You want to come in?" Iris said magically as she unlocked her door.

"Nah…thanks mom, I'll call you tomorrow." Dylan shifted a bit and stuck his hands in his pocket.

Iris nodded, "Ok…think about what we talked about."

"I will" Dylan said in a trance.

"Alright." Iris noticed Dylan quickly looked down the hallway, "Just give her time…ok?" she cupped her small hand to his face.

"Ye…yeah…I know." Dylan nodded looking back at Iris. "Night."

"Night baby…sleep well."

Iris closed the door and Dylan began walking slowly down the hallway toward the elevator. He stopped suddenly and turned and began walking quickly the opposite way. He had to try, he wanted to talk to her. He brought his hand up to the door about to knock when the door swung open. He froze as he noticed Brenda with a guy, laughing, she looked happy, much happier than earlier.

Jared stopped suddenly, "Oh hey." he smiled.

Brenda crossed her arms as she noticed Dylan.

"Hey." Dylan said set back.

"Jared…Dylan McKay." Brenda said with zero enthusiasm.

"Hey man…nice to meet you." Jared shook his hand.

Dylan took a deep breath as he stared at Brenda. He couldn't help it her eyes captured him.

Jared brought his hands together rubbing them gently, "Bren…"

Dylan's head snapped quickly as he looked at Jared, _Bren?_ he thought…_is this guy her boyfriend?_ Dylan didn't like they way he said Bren…actually he felt his fist clench, he straight up hated it.

"See you tomorrow." Jared leaned in and gave her a kiss on her cheek. Dylan stared at him. "Nice meeting you Dylan." Jared said nicely.

Dylan cleared his throat, "Yeah…you too." he said aloof.

Both him and Brenda watched Jared leave and disappear around the corner. They both turned their attention back to each other. No words were spoken again for several moments and Dylan knew she was waiting for something. He noticed she stood stiffly, arms crossed, holding the door open with her foot, head tilted and her glare was emotional and irritated looking.

"Look Brenda…can I come in?" he said sadly.

"Why?" Brenda said gravely.

"Bren…please." he almost begged, "Just for a second, I just want to talk to you."

Brenda took a deep breath, "Please." Dylan said again, he sighed, "Come on…we haven't seen each other in three years."

Brenda dropped her arms almost limply, she held the door open more taking it from her foot and motioned her head for him to come in. She moved from it walking into her suite and Dylan held out his hand to catch the door that would have automatically shut. He slowly walked in.

Iris slowly made herself more visible as she heard the door shut. She gripped her crystal necklace and closed her eyes briefly, "Alright…do your magic." she whispered as she turned making her way back into her suite. "They need to talk this out."

_**So what did you think? Next chapter, emotions rise when Brenda and Dylan talk. More info about Jared and well everything else. *grins* So…hate it? Love it? Let me know.**_


	9. Chapter 9

**_Woot two chapters in the same day. You guys must be lucky. No...I feel bad because I havent updated in a while, you know me, I try not to let a week go by and I have been sick so now that I have no plans, I am feeling better, I worked on 8 and 9 of this chapter and decided to just post so I can work on the end of LTC and LL. So this chapter is long, strictly BD and RATED M, maybe rated M+++ lol I am sure you guys can handle it. Now all your minds are running a million miles a minute, "WHAT...ALREADY?" JUST READ IT KIDS AND OF COURSE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. I have plans WHAAAAAA. That was my evil laugh. Enjoy! ;P_**

**Chapter 9 Bad Romance**

Dylan walked in slowly watching Brenda. She moved into the bar and grabbed a bottled water. She felt his eyes on her, it made her flush and it made a tightness in her stomach that ached.

"You want something to drink?" Brenda said short after taking a sip of her water.

Dylan realized he was staring and shook his head.

"Well…what? What do you want?" Brenda walked out of the bar and stood next to it. She wanted the space between them. Dylan was still nervously huddled by the front door and she tried to stay as far away from him as possible.

Dylan took a deep breath not really knowing how to start. All he knew was he wanted to be near her and yes there were a lot of things he wanted to say to her but now that she was glaring at him across the room it wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. "How have you been?" he said lightly, it was a start.

Brenda smirked, "Fine Dylan…I have been fine, busy."

Dylan took a couple steps toward her and he saw Brenda tense up. He stopped, "Been working a lot?"

Brenda exhaled knowing he was just beating around the bush, she shrugged, "Yeah…I guess I have." she shook her head walking toward the couch, "Look Dylan, whatever you have to say…just say it and go."

"Bren…" Dylan said softly, he was so sad suddenly, in all the years they had been on or off, she had never been this upset at him. He wasn't quite sure what to do. "I am sorry." he murmured.

Brenda smirked and nodded her head, "I am sure you are, apology not accepted."

Dylan took a deep breath, honesty was the best policy, "I have been thinking about you lately."

Brenda let out an uncomfortable laugh, "Lately? Great." she said in disbelief.

Dylan walked toward her again, taking more steps and making an attempt to close the distance between them, "No…not just lately…a lot."

"What are you talking about?" Brenda shook her head, "Look Dylan…I have a life and you…aren't in it. So you said you were sorry, I don't accept it and just go."

Dylan couldn't stop himself, it just rolled out, "A life? With who…the steroid jock looking idiot…is that your boyfriend?" he said with spit behind the words. Green with jealousy he stood and stared at her.

"Ha…wow…says the man who is in engaged…what Dylan, shouldn't you be home with your future wifey…picking out wedding cakes, flowers and whatever generic floral, ugly ass decorations that couldn't be less you. Does Kelly know you're here? Talking to me? Your…ex…finance?" Brenda was proud of herself, she had to hold back from actually smiling.

Dylan moved in swiftly, so quick Brenda didn't have a chance to move away. His hands rested on her arms as the distance between them was finally closed. "Stop." he shook his head. "You don't know how happy…" his voice broke, "I am to see you."

Brenda exhaled and opened her eyes, she looked up at him, "Why?"

Dylan moved his hand and tangled it in her hair resting it on the back of her head, "Because…you're Bren…I haven't seen you in years, I missed you, we never talked about anything…I love…yo…"

"Dylan." Brenda shook her head, "Please don't make me even more mad at you then I already am." Brenda moved backwards trying to separate them again. "You had 3 years to try and talk to me and you chose this life instead of one with me. Please don't punch me in the gut like this. I thought we…never mind." Brenda sadly walked away.

Dylan swallowed hard, "Can I just say something…I know you aren't going to like it and you probably don't want to hear about it, but I need to say it."

Brenda crossed her arms feeling more confident now with the 5 or 6 feet was between them again, "What?" she said quietly.

"I can't stop thinking about you. During all this wedding nonsense, the past year, everything reminds me of you. I tried calling you, I tried…I just didn't know what to say and if I could ever make it up to you." Dylan head dropped as he looked at the floor, "I know I can't make it up to you. I was never not in love with you. You were angry with me and you asked me to get out. I know now that I should have ignored your request but…I wasn't sure if you wanted me to." Dylan looked up and exhaled and waited for her to respond.

Brenda rubbed her lips together and took a deep breath, "I really didn't want you to leave." she said it out loud, she didn't want to but she felt even though he may not deserve it, she wasn't going to keep it inside anymore. She swallowed hard, "But I guess that's that huh? It's done…our time has passed and soon you will get married and our past will be just that…the past."

Dylan moved closer to her, at this point Kelly, the wedding really anything that mirrored his life in California was the farthest thing from his mind. He knew it was wrong, he knew it was bad but he couldn't for the life of him care. "What if…" he moved closer to her, "What if I don't want it to be the past? What if you being here and us running into to each other is a chance to get things right…the way it should be?"

Brenda looked at him curiously, she wasn't sure where he was going with this and everything in her head, and her mind and her body was telling her to move as he inched closer to her…but she didn't.

"What if all this time, all my second thoughts, all my…hesitation was just trying to show me I was making a huge mistake." He stopped in front of her. She was looking down but Dylan found his lips close to the top of her head. He slowly leaned in closer to her hair, he inhaled deeply taking in her smell. He closed his eyes and felt that familiar pull he had with Brenda that never went away.

"It doesnt matter." she whispered.

Brenda knew how close he was and she was still so angry with him, she was beating herself up inside knowing that if she looked up, if she looked into his eyes it would be over. But then her heart, the part of her that screamed Dylan, that had screamed Dylan for so many years that it was hard to deny it, was pulling her chin up slowly. It almost felt like a battle, her own fight to stay strong. Her heart won and she slowly looked up at him. He was close to her, he was staring down at her. His eyes were filled with lust, regret, sadness and…love. She felt her chest get weighty as it raised heavily in and out making her breathing noticeable. His intense eyes were taking her and she wasn't sure if he even knew the effect they had on her. He leaned in slowly and Brenda prepared herself to be won over.

As he was about to capture her lips with his, her mind, her head fought back. She looked down making it impossible for his lips to reach her, "Go home to Kelly Dylan." she murmured. Her voice raspy, intense, emotional…and lastly not working.

She didn't look up at him but she heard him sigh, "No." he murmured back.

Brenda thought for sure bringing her up would bring at least his conscience back, but it didn't. _Jerk_, she thought. Did Brenda really care all that much about Kelly? Did she care Dylan was cheating on her or wanted too? Had Kelly cared about her? It surly didn't stop her all those years ago. Brenda debated being the good girl or the bad girl in her head, back and forth, the thoughts clouded her. She didn't notice as she felt Dylan's arms wrap around her waist tightly. He quickly closed the small gap between then pulling her hard against him. Her mind was stopping all of this from happening but why wasn't her brain telling her body. It wasn't listening, it was letting it happen. As she continued to look down she eyed his shirt. His chest slowly moving in and out, taking big breaths. She stared at it and even could see his heart subtly beating against hers. She then felt him rouse, it was obvious and she was sure he knew she noticed even though she hadn't looked up. What was she going to do? She didn't forgive him, she wasn't going to get him out of this whole thing this easily. Then that whole reason made her angry, which in turn made it hotter, more hard-hitting. Brenda knew it was a mistake but her heart made up her mind. She slowly raised her face and as soon as she did his lips hit hers with such force it almost knocked the wind out of her. She kissed back angrily as her hands found the back of his neck. Her fingers grasped his hair and she pulled it hard. Maybe because she was mad at him she didn't have a clue but it seemed to make his kiss more eager. With her eyes closed their lips opened and closed together in sync, opening and closing over each other. Their tongues battling for dominance. She heard a low groan escape from his mouth pushing his hot breath into her. She moaned in his mouth as she felt him lift her slightly off the ground turning her slightly. This was bad…this was wrong…this was so hot…what was she doing? Her left and right side of her conscious fought back and forth clearly letting the devil win. Brenda felt her back hit the bed forcefully and finally they separated long enough to look at each other. No words were spoken as they continued their stare.

Dylan leaned his body to hers letting Brenda's legs spread open as he lay between them. The silence was thick, the dishonest act deafening. Brenda's hungry eyes kept their stare. She saw Dylan tilt his head sweetly and smirk. He gently brought his hand to her face, letting his thumb move slowly across her lips. He moved his lips to hers and kissed her softly. The reality kicked in again for Brenda, it was too sweet, there was too much adoration. She needed to turn this back into what it was, a dishonest, arousing act not love making. She brought her hand to his face, kissing him harder, fiercely, moving her hands to his shoulders and down his back she gripped him roughly pulling him closer. Allowing her hands to trail to his chest. She moved quickly wanting to rip open his buttons down his shirt but deciding having to buy Dylan a new shirt was not something she wanted to do. Instead she kissed him passionately moving down the buttons one by one until finally he was freed. She gasped breathlessly as she opened it sliding it down his shoulders. She felt Dylan move his weight off of her little by little grabbing at her back bringing her with him, as he sat up. His soft hands firmly found the hem of her tank top. Then he did the thing that Dylan was known for, slowly bringing the tank top over her head in one swift motion as he tossed it over his head, it was effortless and swift. She saw his eyes look down at her chest as he moved in kissing her neck. Brenda still sitting up hung her head back allowing him access as he glided his lips across it, every once in a while letting his tongue trace down the curves of it. As he continued to spend time in that region she moaned softly as she felt him clench her breast, squeezing it roughly. Brenda was more than turned on and it had been so long since he did these things to her it almost felt like it was new all over again yet with a small sense of familiarity.

His voice caught her off guard, "Take this shit off." he whispered. She felt her bra loosen around her and then just as swiftly as her tank top coming off her bra was gone too. She saw the light shadow of it fly to the ground. "God I missed you." he breathed. "I missed these." he whispered seductively as she felt him grab her left breast, taking his mouth to her other. All the memories came flushing back, yep…even after all these years Dylan was still a boob man. Brenda smiled as she felt her too arouse under his mouth. God he drove her crazy still and still in the back of her mind she thought of the wrong in it all. She wasn't planning to forgive him tomorrow. She was planning to go back to exactly her purpose for this trip, her play and that's it. Was that really cruel? Who knows, Dylan had a fiancé, what the hell was he thinking? As she felt his hands hit the button of her jeans she knew he wasn't thinking about anything. At least not beyond sex. His hands gripped the sides of her jeans as he pulled them forcefully down over her hips, down her legs until they were off completely. Brenda closed her eyes as she felt his lips caressing her stomach, then her hips. He sucked gently at her hip bone moving his tongue in the crease where her leg and pelvis met. He gripped the small string of her panties yanking them with just enough velocity as everything else he did. You would have thought the force would have ripped them but they were fine. She anticipated what came next. Having been with Dylan for several years whether consistently or far between she knew what was coming. Her breaths began louder more rapid as she felt his tongue, his lips, his fingers. She moaned louder arching her back. This was all about her and she could not be enjoying herself more at this point. It was just as she remembered it. His slow and steady laps, then rapid touches sent Brenda in over drive. Brenda hadn't had sex or anything close to it since Dylan, and she knew it was pathetic and sad. She was so sexually frustrated she knew her climax was close, it wasn't going to take much but she wasn't ready for it to be over. She slowly brought her hand to his head trying to push him away. He listened at first as he opened his eyes and looked up at her.

"Come here." she whispered. "I'll be too quick."

Dylan smirked and continued, "Dylan." she breathed out.

"Just let go...relax Bren." He murmured.

If he only knew the real meaning between those words at the moment. That's what her mind wanted to do but her actions had shown anything but. Sadly she still didn't feel bad. It gave her a small satisfaction knowing Kelly was at home doing whatever boring thing she did normally. Going over wedding stuff, wondering where Dylan was when in reality he was quite busy. She smiled and giggled as Dylan sped his pace up. _Whatever…revenge is sweet. _Let Dylan live with his lies. Would this intimacy make things more difficult, maybe…but it was hard to think about because in reality it couldn't get worse. The man she loved was going to marry someone else. And Brenda had never been this girl, she never wanted to take back what was rightfully hers but the thought of Dylan married, committed to Kelly made her ache to be with him one last time.

"Oh God." Brenda moaned out as her hands gripped the sheets. "Fuck." she breathed out and then held her breath. Her cursing slightly embarrassing but not enough for her to care. Then it was over she released what she had been fighting back, her body warm, tingled and heightened. She knew it wasn't going to take much even though she lasted a bit longer then she had thought. She panted loudly trying to recover as she felt Dylan's soft kisses move up her body. She held her eyes shut savoring her orgasm as she felt his body lay beside her. She opened her eyes and looked at him hearing him chuckle.

A grin expanded across his face, "Yep just how I remembered it…I still got it."

Brenda rolled her eyes, "Whatever." she said coldly. "Believe me it would have been the same with anyone…its just been awhile." She still tried to catch her breath.

"Aww Jared doesn't give _his Bren _any?" he said completely sarcastic and jealous with a singe of disgust.

Brenda snapped her head toward him and smirked as she shook her head, "He's just a friend Dylan…and besides its none of your business anyway."

"Maybe not…but regardless you are always my business whether you want it to be or not."

Brenda sighed loudly, "Dylan…shut up." she said irritated.

Dylan smirked and wrapped his arms around her waist, "Make me." he moved so he was above her slightly, his body still lying on her side.

Brenda laughed as she leaned up meeting his lips with hers in a fierce kiss, she sat up forcing herself to move him. As she swung her leg over him, straddling him. She shifted pulling down his midnight blue boxer briefs. She wasn't as swift and steady as he was but he helped a bit. She thought about returning the oral pleasure favor and decided against it. _That_ he didn't deserve, yep Brenda was mean and she was enjoying it. She knew how much he liked it and to her, that was something too intimate for this masquerade. She didn't do it often if at all except with him and again Dylan didn't deserve it. She returned her position over him, leaning down and kissing him deeply. She teased him playfully with her mouth, as she explored his chest and neck. After a few moments she felt Dylan place his hand to the back of her head bringing her in for another kiss. Brenda could tell he was more than turned on, he wanted her but she wasn't ready to give in yet. Her foreplay wasn't done and she was enjoying the new tease in herself.

Dylan's lips made his way to her ear, "Are you done with this game?" his hot breath licked her ear with passion.

She breathed out and closed her eyes, "Maybe." she kissed his neck again moving to his ear as she felt him grip the back of her head harder, tangling his fingers in her hair. "Maybe not." she continued.

Dylan practically growled as he moved his hands down her back, stopping at her butt. He kneaded gently thrusting his hips into her letting out a grunt.

_Jesus_, Brenda thought. _Was it always like this?_

Brenda shifted so she was over his manhood and moved slowly down. Her head hung back as she slowly moved her hips with his. Dylan grabbed at her hips forcefully as he closed his eyes. As they moved together the soft sounds escaped their lips. The flames of their passion seeping through. Brenda bent down to kiss him as she kept her pace. Their lips moved, moaning in between the kiss, the breaths, he felt so good. Was it possible to have sex with someone as special, who meant as much as Dylan did and not get emotional about it? It was too late now. Brenda hair fell into his face as they moved quickly together kissing and breathing in each other's ears.

"Uh…" Dylan grunted in a sexy tone, "I miss this, making love to you." he moaned again, "I love you Bren." he whispered close to her ear.

Brenda closed her eyes hearing the words she refused to say back to him, "I miss it too." she whispered back in the simple thrust of passion. "But…" she breathed out, "We aren't making love." she said sternly.

Dylan moved her hair out of his face, pinning it gently so he could see her, he gave her a small smile, "What are we doing then?" his voice was sensual and sexy.

Brenda leaned down taking his lips to hers again. She ran her tongue across his bottom lip as she felt him drive into her harder. "Uh." she quietly grunted, she brought her lips again to his ear. "We are screwing Dylan….that's what this is." she breathed into it. "Fucking." her breath hot against his ear as she felt him tense up. She lifted herself from him sitting up now. Dylan had no expression as he just stared at her. She wasn't sure if she frightened him. Surely Dylan McKay wouldn't have gotten scared away by the F word. Especially referring to sex, but they kept their pace so obviously it didn't bother him that much, maybe she just surprised him. Brenda closed her eyes as she felt the middle of her stomach tighten. She was getting close again and when she made love to Dylan, _crap_, she thought, _not making love_ she reminded herself. They never had a concept of time but the way the sweat beaded slightly off her forehead she knew they had been at it for awhile. His thrusts were quick and hard now as she moved her hips to his, but every muscle in his body seemed clenched in his effort to stay in control. She knew he was getting there too. She leaned her hands against his chest pushing her weight down on them. She wasn't sure how much longer she could hold out as she felt herself feeling more sensitvie, pleasure burning through her, she felt her self tightening, a convulsing pull from the inside...around him. She knew what would make Dylan get there…noises.

Brenda started to moan louder, picking up her pace. Dylan knew Brenda was not necessarily a screamer but she was very vocal, she moaned when they kissed for crying out loud. Brenda began to talk dirty to him, telling him she was close, what she liked, what speed to take, it was very un-Brenda like, it was her way of keeping the "making love" out of the equation, I mean sure Brenda and Dylan vocally enjoyed themselves and did talk dirty to one another but telling Dylan to fuck her harder was the kicker. Then Dylan did something she wasn't expecting. He sat up…taking one of his hands to the back of her head bringing her face close to his in an attempt to connect with her, he supported his weight with his other hand. The shift in position made it better, angling different, hitting more senstive areas and they continued to move together romantically. _He ruined it, _she thought, now it was intimate. Their breaths in sync, their motions connected. She opened her eyes and saw him, he was gazing at her through heavy lust-laden lids and his jaw was slack with the intensity of his pleasure. He was unbelievably sexy, even more so and Brenda let her guard down, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly, kissing him, enjoying him. "I love you." she breathed passionately regretting it before the words even left her mouth.

Dylan closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers. He exhaled, "I love you too." his voice almost sorrowful.

The words threw her head first into the fire. The inferno of her release bound up and exploded, it made more heat roll repeatedly in the pit of her stomach as she felt herself contracting. Brenda heard Dylan release a powerful grunt, and she knew he too had come apart.

They held each other tightly staying in place as the fire died down slowly. Still connected Dylan pulled Brenda down to him, cuddling her into him. Brenda stretched herself across him, needing the relief from the intensity of what had just happened. As her breath slowed and her heartbeat returned to normal, she felt him sweetly kiss her hair. The warmth of his chest, the tightness of his hold, she closed her eyes and realized it was a mistake. She shifted to her side moving her back to him. It only took a second as she felt him wrap his arms around her from the back, spooning to her closely. They didn't speak and a small part of her wanted Dylan to leave, not spend the night. Then the other part of her felt so warm, safe and comfortable, a feeling she hadn't felt in so long, that it was impossible to want anything else. She felt her eyes get heavy as they closed once again, this time staying that way.

"Goodnight Bren." he whispered softly, lips against the back of her head, as he squeezed her tightly.

"Night Dylan." she whispered back. Tomorrow was going to suck...for both of them.

_**Eeeeek, thats it I want Dylan more now, ok so maybe I need to get laid lol I don't know, but I had planned on this chapter the whole time but found a new heightened need to get a little smuttier lol Anyway What will the morning bring? HEHEHE Nope Brenda isn't giving in that easy and Brandon is coming soon, which will take Kelly more and more out of the equation but not soon enough. Dylan is 100% completely done for in regards to who he wants to be with. That's the only hints I am giving. I totally wrote this chapter listening to Lady Gaga and then Bad Romance came on and I went with it lol Are you guys disappointed in me? Are you going to try to jump your boyfriends or husbands tonight? HAHA Whatever it is I want to know. *GRIN* Review. Next up, LTC and LL.**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 The Gift of Affinity**

Dylan stirred and stretched. He smiled with his eyes still closed as he thought of the night before. All the hesitation, worrying, stress about the days before…seemed totally gone. He knew what he wanted or maybe the better thing to say was that the knew who he wanted. Dylan suddenly knew what in life he wanted and strangely he was beginning to think he may have known the whole time. He didn't love Kelly anymore, he loved Brenda, he had always loved Brenda. He felt as though he reached for Kelly as second choice, a back up. Dylan knew now he never should have come back to L.A. at least not without her. He should had stayed in London and fought for her. He should have told her that he wanted that ring on her finger and that he wanted to spend his life with her and only her. That going to L.A. to see Kelly and Brandon get married was a mistake, or at least the lie was. His mind was clear; he never in his life had known what was supposed to be, until now. Last night was amazing, they had connected again, they still loved each other, it was emotional and intimate and incredibly passionate. Dylan let out a satisfied sigh as he reached for her. He could spend all day in that bed with her. Catching up, talking about the past, what the future held for them, making love to her. He was literally putty in her hands, he wondered if she knew how much control she had on him at this point. Dylan couldn't remember a time when he had ever thought that way. With his eyes still closed he felt nothing, an empty bed, her side wasn't even warm still. He slowly opened his eyes concluding what his empty reach which had already confirmed. He sat up as he pushed back his hair. "Bren?" he called out, hearing nothing in return.

He got up in search of his clothes which had neatly been folded at the end of the bed. Dylan assumed she was gone, he figured she had somewhere to be and so he got up throwing on his clothes from the night before and making his way into the living room area of the suite. He glanced around the room quickly looking for a note but found nothing. There was a room service cart of coffee sitting near the front door. He helped himself and sat at the dining table, grabbing the newspaper. Dylan smiled to himself as he went straight to the arts section finding the ad for the Beverly Playhouse. "Funny About Love…starring Brenda Walsh…Jared McCoy." Dylan rolled his eyes. He continued to read through show times and reviews. He hadn't seen one of Brenda's plays in so long and he wanted to go. The show would be running tonight, tomorrow and the following day. Dylan took the morning to arrange a few things and purchase tickets, then something came into his head. He knew it should have awhile ago but never did…Kelly. He hadn't come home the night before, here it was 9am and still, no call, no message. He knew she would be furious, wanting answers and he didn't have any. Dylan didn't want to be a jerk, he still cared about her but he wanted out and the sooner he was honest and told her the better.

Dylan walked to Iris's room, not planning to tell her where he had slept the night before, even though he had a strange feeling she already knew. The truth was, he wanted Brenda's new cell phone number and to get it, he was going to have to suck it up and ask her for it. He gently knocked and Iris opened up the door with a guarded stare.

"Hey." Dylan murmured ignoring the look and pushing his way through the door. He froze as Kelly approached him with a smile on her face.

"They didn't have any croissants left downstairs huh?" Iris said nervously.

Dylan looked at his mother oddly and turned back to his fiancé. "Uh…Kel…what are you doing here?"

Kelly smiled, "I called the hotel this morning, you could have called me, I was worried about you."

"Oh…yeah…sorry…I know...I should have called…" Dylan stuttered.

"Iris told me know you had spent the night. You shouldn't drink so much, you know what that stuff does to you." Kelly said slightly stern. "But I don't have to meet the cater for a couple hours, so I thought I would come here, we could take your mom to breakfast, you know…bond with my future mother in law." Kelly gave Iris a sweet smile.

Dylan quickly looked down, "I don't have any clothes." He looked up and pulled at his shirt he was wearing from the day before.

"I brought you some and a toothbrush." Kelly lifted a small duffel bag from the ground.

"Oh…ok." He sighed with a smile moving towards her, he reached for the bag as she held it back.

Kelly leaned into him, "I missed you too Dylan." She said sarcastically quiet. As Kelly came in to greet him with a kiss Dylan turned his cheek at the last minute. She looked at him oddly.

Dylan leaned in kissing her forehead, "I haven't brushed my teeth yet." He realized by the look on Kelly's face her mind was wandering, a dangerous act. He took the bag from her and moved to the bedroom.

Kelly's cell phone went off as she glanced down at it, "Excuse me Iris, I need to take this."

"No problem dear, I am going to freshen up." Iris watched as Kelly began talking wedding business and took the opportunity to sneak away.

As Iris walked into the bedroom she saw Dylan sitting on the edge of the bed. His head was in his hands, he was slumped over deep in though, he worked his panicky hands through his hair.

"I was about to call you." she said uneasy. "She called a little while ago…I told her you were asleep and that you had a few too many drinks last night and I wouldn't let you drive." Iris took a deep breath, "And then she just showed up. When you weren't here I told her you had gone done stairs to pick up some breakfast."

"You didn't have to do that." Dylan said calmly.

"I know…but honestly I didn't really have a choice."

Dylan sighed, "Thank you. It's not fair for you to have to lie to her…"

"Did you and Brenda have a pleasant talk?" interrupting and changing the subject to more important things.

Dylan looked at his mother and shook his head, "We still have a lot to talk about."

Iris nodded her head, she began to whisper, "Sometimes honesty isn't always the best policy."

Dumbfounded, "what are you talking about?" Dylan looked at his mother carefully.

Iris sighed, "I mean, sometimes its ok to leave certain things out when trying not to hurt someone….like sleeping with Brenda."

Dylan got up uncomfortably, "Mom…it's not like that we just talked." Dylan lied.

"Of course." Iris put on. "You do need to talk to Kelly though, you know that right?"

Dylan shrugged clearly hiding something, "There isn't anything to tell." Dylan knew he did, he didn't have to be lectured about it.

Iris took a deep breath, "Dylan…Brenda is your rapport…your affinity. The bond…the friendship and the understanding, the relationship your hearts have as one…can not be duplicated. Denying that connection…would only leave you empty as two…incomplete."

Dylan looked at his mother taking in her words, in which sounded out there and eccentric but he liked the sound of it all. Even though he was trying to grasp it fully and understand it.

Iris continued noting that Dylan hadn't stopped her yet, "You and Brenda have your hearts on safe…protected. Some people let pride get in the way of the fated." Iris smiled at him, "From the outside, knowing this, knowing you are meant to be…its incredibly frustrating" Iris looked down before meeting his interested stare, "No matter who you are with, because of this affinity, you will always be lost in emptiness without her. I just hope you find and accept this gift...before its too late."

Iris stared at him, after a few seconds she nodded, "Well get dressed." Iris began to leave the bedroom as Dylan stopped her.

"What's Brenda's new cell number?" he asked innocently as he took out his phone.

Iris smirked but gave it to him without questioning or pressure and left him to get dressed and with a million thoughts to make sense of.

**

Breakfast was about as miserable as to be expected. Iris and Dylan shared uncomfortable glances as Kelly explained details of the wedding to Iris, filling her in as much as possible.

Dylan welcomed the interruption as he answered his phone, "Hello."

The static was thick, "Dy…lan?"

Dylan strained to hear, "Hello…I can't hear you." he pushed at his other ear with his index finger.

"Dylan…it's….Brandon." the words came out of the static.

"Bran? Is that you?" Dylan still strained to hear.

"Hold on one second." Brandon came in a bit clearer.

Dylan waited as the static cut out and the phone became clear.

"Dylan…can you hear me now?" Brandon said finding a better spot of reception.

"Loud and clear bro, where are you?" Dylan eyed Kelly who was looking curiously at him.

"I am in San Diego."

"San Diego…I thought you weren't coming to California for another week?"

"Well my boss couldn't resist assigning me to the Democratic convention here. So much for vacation huh? But I did get to come out earlier."

Dylan laughed, "Never a dull moment huh?"

"Yeah really… I got a flight out tonight and I should be in L.A. by 10 tonight, would it be too much trouble to pick me up?"

"No not at all, I have to check in at the club and cover someone tonight for a bit but someone will definitely be there."

"Perfect. Thanks man, I rented a car but they don't have anything available for a couple days."

"It's no problem man…I can't wait to see you."

"Yeah…me too. Alright I am going to go but I'll see you tonight…tell Kel I said hi."

Dylan smiled, "Will do."

"Flight 347, Southwest." Brandon said quickly.

"Got it." Dylan said with a smirk.

Both guys hung up and Dylan looked up to Iris and Kelly's curious eyes.

"That was Brandon, he was covering a convention in San Diego and he will be in L.A. tonight. I should call David or Steve, see if one of them can pick him up, I'll be at the club." Dylan opened his phone again. Kelly reached for it and closed it quickly.

"I'll go." She said nonchalantly.

"You don't mind?" Dylan took his phone back as she handed it back to him.

Kelly shook her head, "Not at all. I have a meeting with the caterer and a fitting but nothing else."

"Perfect." Dylan said as he shoved the phone in his pocket.

"Oh shoot, speaking of the fitting, I got to get going." Kelly got up quickly, "I'll call you later." Kelly leaned down and kissed Dylan on the cheek, "Bye Iris, it was nice seeing you."

Iris nodded, "You too." She said politely.

Dylan and Iris watched Kelly hurry out of the café and then Dylan made eye contact with his mom noticing her look. Iris shrugged innocently, "You don't care Kelly will be alone with Brandon?"

Dylan laughed, "No…why would I? Mom…I am hardly in the position to get upset about past relationships and there wouldn't be a reason to worry about Kelly anyway." Dylan reached for his wallet to pay the bill.

"Well…I just thought…with their past and everything…" Iris smiled at Dylan slightly; she wasn't sure why she was testing him, testing his feelings. "But…your right…I mean there isnt anything worth mentioning about Brenda and last night anyway…so I guess there would be no reason for Kelly to worry either…so." Iris took a deep breath continuing her game.

Dylan met Iris's gaze, "That's right."

Iris smirked, "Right." she nodded. "So the wedding is still on then?"

Dylan exhaled, "I don't know what you want from me? You act like I am the bad guy if I slept with Brenda." his voice cracked, "But then you ask me about the wedding. I give up trying to figure out what's in that head of yours." Dylan got up and Iris followed. "You don't know anything anyway."

Iris and Dylan walked to the elevators and stood quiet as the doors opened. They walked in and watched the numbers slowly climb, "Look Dylan…I don't think you are a bad person if you slept with Brenda…I just think you need to figure out what you're doing. Whether it is marrying Kelly and saying good bye to Brenda…forever." Dylan looked over at her not liking the way that sounded. "Or…you tell Kelly the truth…or part of it." Iris smiled, "And fight for Brenda." Iris shrugged innocently keeping her smile as the doors opened, "That's all I am saying."

"Why are you looking at me like that? Why are you acting like you know what happened last night, did you talk to Brenda?" Dylan caught up with her as they walked down the hallway.

Iris smiled, "I may have seen her this morning…"

Dylan reached out pulling back his moms hand, "Wait a second Iris…Brenda actually told you we slept together?"

She gripped his hand, "No she didn't tell me that…"

"Well then how do you know?" Dylan was confused as to why his mother and him were even talking about this. Why she was bringing it up…not only did Dylan not talk about this stuff with anyone but if he was going to, the last person would be his mother.

"I didn't know for sure anyway…until now." Iris smiled wide.

"You have issues...and you're happy about that aren't you? Because it involves Bren and me? You don't care about knowing something incredibly personal and sexual about your son because it was with Brenda...you're a sick woman." Dylan shook his head and began walking ahead of her.

Iris laughed, "Maybe I am happy...I love Brenda...more importantly I love Brenda with you." Iris shurgged sweetly, "She is your affinity...you are connected...you belong together."

"Iris...this information...this _affinity_, it's between Bren and Me." Dylan said quietly, deep in thought.

"As it should be." Iris concluded, "Sometimes you need a little push." She smiled again as she caught up with him, she noticed his face change, she looked up at him curiously. Her eyes followed his stare.

Dylan sighed as he saw Brenda smiling talking to Jared. She lifted up on her tip toes wrapping her arms around his neck embracing him goodbye. Dylan watched Jared closely his arms around her waist, his open palm resting on her lower back, almost resting on her butt.

"Oh good you're here." Kelly said walking up behind them. Iris and Dylan were so caught up in watching Brenda with Jared they didn't hear her come up. "I forgot my cell in your room." Iris and Dylan realized quickly not wanting Kelly to notice Brenda but it was too late.

Kelly looked at Dylan, "Is that Brenda?" Kelly said quietly, "Oh my god…Brenda?" Kelly called out louder.

Brenda's heart stopped as she pulled away from Jared, she glanced down the hallway and noticed Iris, Dylan…and Kelly.

Kelly looked at Dylan oddly; at least he looked as surprised as she did. She hooked arms with him and dragged him toward them.

Brenda looked up at Jared, holding back tears, "Jared, I will explain everything after but just follow my lead please pretend you are crazy about me…I will owe you." She reached for his hand and gripped it firmly. Brenda looked down at Kelly's arm intertwined with Dylan's and took a deep breath.

Jared smirked getting it right away, he leaned kissing her temple, "I could do better than that." He whispered. Jared moved slightly behind her, he slowly wrapped both arms around her from the back and pulled her close to him. He lowered his chin to the side of her face.

Brenda smiled appreciative, "Thanks." She whispered.

As Dylan and Kelly approached them, Dylan noticed Jared's arms around her. He leaned in whispering in her ear, watching Brenda smile warmly and accept his advances, it killed Dylan, there was ache deep inside that wished he was in that spot. They way she smiled at him and the way Jared held her close, was similar to the way they were together. It ate at him alive, obviously no matter what had happened between him and Brenda the night before didn't matter and Jared was clearly more than a friend.

Kelly gave Brenda a slow yet friendly smile, "I can't believe I am looking at you…what are you doing here?"

Brenda swallowed hard and brought forth her best acting...or fakeness, "I am on tour, last minute change. Just got in yesterday."

Kelly let Dylan's arm hold go and leaned into her, "I am so glad you're here." Kelly caught her in an awkward embrace as Jared's arms dropped. Brenda slowly brought her arm around her, she looked up at Dylan. They both didn't say anything but guilt was evident. Kelly leaned out from her and gave her a sincere smile. She eyed Jared and gave him an even bigger smile, "I am Kelly Taylor…and this is my fiancé Dylan McKay." Brenda cringed.

Jared eyed Dylan, "Nice to meet you." Dylan said holding out his hand pretending they hadn't met so Jared would get the hint.

Jared nodded cautiously, "Yeah…same here…nice to meet both of you." now he was confused.

Iris walked up quietly and held out Kelly's phone, "Here you go Kelly."

"Oh right…thanks." Kelly took it from her checking the face plate. She smiled again at Brenda as she wrapped her arms around Dylan's waist and looked up at him. Kelly found it strange that they hadn't greeted each other.

Iris rolled her eyes subtly at Kelly, she tilted her head sympathetically, "Brenda sweetie." she gleamed, "Its been few years hasn't it?" she said softly.

"Hello Iris." Brenda played along. They embraced each other tightly.

Iris who was facing away from Kelly and Dylan leaned in closely to her ear, "Be strong my daughter." she leaned even closer hugging her tighter, "Il est parti son coeur avec vous." Iris whispered softly speaking in French knowing Brenda understood it and Kelly did not. It meant…_He left his heart with you._

Brenda hid her face in Iris's shoulder as tears brimmed in her eyes. Brenda pulled away quickly, "It has been awhile…I missed you too." she played it off, quickly wiping her eyes with a smile. "Look at me, I get so mushy." her smile faded as she looked at Dylan quickly.

He had heard and understood Iris as well, "How ya doing Bren?" Dylan said softly. His heartfelt voice velvety and sincere. "Long time no see." his tone changed, filled with mock sarcasm.

Brenda took a deep breath not amused, "Yeah…I guess it has…and I am great." she said rubbing salt in the wound as she felt Jared wrap his arm around her getting the hint that it might have been needed at that point.

Dylan exhaled angrily.

"So…Bren…this is great, you're here, I am picking up your brother at the airport tonight, lets go out…get some drinks, Dylan will be at the After Dark…it will be fun."

Brenda quickly shook her head quickly, "Sorry…we have a performance." she said almost too cheerfully relieved.

"Oh come on…I'll tell everyone, I am sure they would all love to see you…how long has it been since you've been back in L.A. anyway?"

"Almost seven years." Dylan answered without much thought.

Kelly and Brenda looked at him, "See…too long." Kelly gave him a look but turned her attention back to Brenda.

"I really can't…we can't…we have a show…maybe another time."

"Brenda…come on, don't be ridiculous, we all know the play will be done by ten, they always are…we'll meet after…what do you say Jared?"

Brenda looked at Jared, her eyes pleading to get her out of this. "I don't know…we may have plans…didn't you tell Amber we would meet up after the show baby?"

Dylan exhaled through his nose again.

"Oh right…some of the cast…we do have plans." Brenda explained.

"Brenda…" Kelly looked at her sadly, "You see them all the time…I mean everyone will be so excited, especially Brandon…it will be like a welcome home to the Walsh twins."

Brenda's eyes panicked looking to Dylan, he had to be feeling awkward, he couldn't want her around Kelly, after the night before. It couldn't be comfortable for him, facing his fiance and his ex together in the same room after having cheated on her, not like she cared but it would save her from having to face this past, Kelly and Dylan together, the gang…it was almost too much to even think about.

"Yeah Bren…she's right, it will be fun, you can see the club, catch up with everyone." he gave her a sarcastic smirk and lifted his eyebrow.

Brenda's eyes widened subtly as she stared at him in disbelief, _he was enjoying this? _

"Oh man…I got to get out of here, I am so late. Brenda I will take that silence as a yes." she smiled at her. "I'll see you later tonight then."

"I got to go too, hold on Kelly I will walk with you." Jared said telling the truth and feeling badly for Brenda, "I'll talk to you later Bren." Jared leaned in to kiss her cheek but Brenda turned her head and took his lips to hers passionately.

Dylan stared at Jared, jealousy practically spitting from his throat as he cleared it loudly.

Brenda and Jared pulled apart and Jared hugged her tightly, "You most definitely have to fill me in…don't stress, this may be my best performance yet." he joked quietly letting Brenda hear him but no one else.

Brenda laughed silently, "See you in a couple hours."

Jared nodded and turned towards Kelly, "Miss Taylor, lead the way." he said nicely.

She smiled back and looked up at Dylan, "Ready?"

Dylan's eyes left Brenda's suddenly, "Uh…actually I am going to get my mom settled, I'll head out in a little while."

Kelly glared at him, she glanced at Brenda swallowing hard then bringing her attention back to Dylan. "Fine." she said quietly defeated, her tone was obvious in not wanting to start a fight.

Kelly linked arms with Jared and they continued down the hallway, both disappearing around the corner as Kelly's voice and laugh got quieter finally fading as well.

Brenda fiercely eyed Dylan, anger, irritation and rage filled her eyes.

Iris caught it right away. "I am sure you guys have a few things to talk about. Brenda honey…break a leg tonight."

Brenda smiled at her pushing the anger towards Dylan away momentarily.

Iris turned towards Dylan, "Son…" Iris smiled, "Find the gift of affinity." she said softly and then she headed to her room.

Brenda and Dylan watched Iris until she was gone. Brenda stared at him. She shook her head in disgust, opening her room's door. Dylan held out his hand and caught it before it slammed in his face. He smirked slipping in after her.

_**Hmmmm so what do you think? Poor Bren…also don't hate on Jared, he's a good guy. No surprises from him but definitely more info. Next up Dylan and Brenda deal with the moring after, Kelly…and the After Dark plans. Hehehehe. Finishing up LTC now, will post it up later today. I had iris speaking french because I knew both Brenda and Dylan did and I remember Dylan saying he used to go to Europe every summer. So it wouldnt be that far off if Iris had gone to with them before they had split up. Also Iris always seemed very worldly so again it fit. Please review, let me know what's up. I wasnt extremely happy with this chapter, it felt rushed and choppy but after working on it over and over and erasing and changing and so on and so on, I think it is a lost cause and sometimes you just have to take it as it is.** _


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 Lies Of The Heart**

Brenda felt her body tensing the more and more she thought about Kelly. The way Kelly smiled at her and acted like they had been close this whole time. She acted like there was zero weirdness, that there was no past with this triangle, that these two former best friends hadn't gone out, broken up with and gone back out with Dylan numerous times. The fact that they had both shared a high school romance with him and an adult one didn't seem to faze her. Living together, engaged to one another, their lives almost parallel. Then her thoughts went to Dylan, it was his fault…not Kelly's, he was there in her room, she knew that much. She hadn't turned around to look at him yet but the silence was deafening and she knew if she didn't get this stuff off her chest now…she would calm down and it wouldn't be the same. Brenda didn't want to calm down.

She turned around staring at him, he stood there calm and collected. Pretty expected for Dylan, Mr. Smooth…smooth criminal more like it. "What the hell was that?" Brenda practically yelled. There was volume to her voice with a hint of injure, in which she tried to mask with anger but didn't do a good job.

"What was what?" Dylan said concerned and set back by her anger.

Brenda pointed to the door, "That…that was incredibly awkward and I thought you of all people would know that a night with your friends wouldn't be on the top of the list of things I wanted to do. I thought you would at least have my back. I didn't want anyone to know I was here and now…" Brenda looked down not being able to finish.

Dylan tried to comfort her, "Just leave me alone." She moved away from him.

"Bren…they are your friends too."

Brenda took a deep breath, "Maybe…but what makes you think I want to hang out with Kelly…don't you feel guilty, don't you have any kind of regret for cheating on your fiancé?"

Dylan shook his head, "No…I may regret a lot of things that I have done to _you_…but not last night. Making love to you Bren would never be something I would take back."

"You're unbelievable…it was dishonest Dylan…you're committed to Kelly…you're engaged, it was wrong."

"It was amazing." Dylan moved in closer.

Brenda shook her head frustrated, "What are we going to do?" she sighed. "What if she finds out? How are we going to play it off?"

"I want to tell her." Dylan said honestly.

Brenda's eyes grew wide, "What?" she raised her voice again, "No…you can't…why would you do that?"

Dylan moved into her and set his hands on her upper arms, "Brenda…you need to relax…I need to be honest with her. I am not in love with her…I am in love with you. I am calling off the wedding."

Brenda exhaled loudly, "Don't do this to me Dylan, you think you are in love with me but your not, you haven't seen me in awhile and its just bringing up old feelings. You know damn well someone has to stop this back and forth bullshit you do with us…I am stopping it now because honestly if we got back together and you did this to me again." Brenda looked away from him, "I don't think…I could get through it again."

Dylan lifted his hand to her face but she backed away, "I wont." he whispered.

Brenda stared at him, her face motionless as he didn't respond, "You aren't in love with me…you left remember…you gave up your chance to be with me."

"You told me too." Dylan said still calm.

"I've moved on." Brenda said quietly.

Dylan tilted his head sadly, "I haven't." Dylan continued to stare at her as she began to fidget nervously, "So this Jared…it's serious then?"

Brenda swallowed hard, "Maybe." It was hard to lie to him but she guessed Jared would be more help than she thought he'd be.

Dylan looked down and sighed sadly, "I am not going to let go that easily, especially because you love me too, you can't blame me for not giving up on you."

"A part of me will always love you Dylan…but I..." Brenda couldn't finish. That was a bigger lie than anything she had said. She was madly in love with him.

"What about last night Bren? If it wasn't love then what were we doing?" Dylan moved toward her again.

Brenda stared into his eyes as he stood a foot from her. Everything in her body screamed to take him in her arms and take him back but she wasn't going to do that. "It was _just_ sex Dylan…people do it all the time. We haven't seen each other in a long time and it just happened. I am sorry you thought it was more." Brenda looked down as her eyes filled up with tears.

Dylan felt his eyes water up as he took his hand playing with her hair sweetly. He cupped her face as Brenda out of habit leaned into it this time, "Bren…" he whispered disappointed and heartbroken, "I wont leave again…I promise."

"Dylan please...you can't keep doing this." She shook her head away from his touch wanting him to leave. "Please just go home…to her."

"You don't want that…I know you don't." Dylan said quietly.

Brenda turned from him, she felt herself crumbling her protected wall again…like last night. She wasn't going to be this other women. One time, revenge on Kelly was one thing but the other woman, forget it. Brenda turned to look at him, her stare was hard and cold this time. "It's too late. I am not the same person I was three years ago, it's over, nothing you say to me is going to change my mind. Please leave." she said sternly pointing toward the door.

"Bren...I want to be with you...I love you. Last night you said you loved me too...I know you still do." Dylan eyes squinted as he tried to read her.

"I lied." she said strongly. "It was just…in the heat of the moment." Brenda swallowed hard.

Dylan exhaled, the room felt smaller, his chest seemed tighter and it was hard to breathe. He stared at her holding back from just moving in and taking her in his arms, making her admit it , but never once did she soften. "Goodbye Dylan." Brenda's voice cracked.

"Bren...I...dont know who I am without you, these past few years, I have been lost." Dylan looked down quickly wiping a tear that had escaped, hoping she didnt see through him, "I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted this...I wanted to spend my life with you."

Brenda's heart skipped a beat. She turned away from him she wiped her eyes and her nose. "It's too late. I sorry."

"Bren..." Dylan steped toward her lifting his hand to her.

Brenda sniffed and shook her head, "Just go...please...I am done." she whispered.

"Brenda? Look at me." he begged feeling the familar feeling of the last time, those were the last words she said to him the last time.

"Jesus Dylan...GET OUT!" she screamed, "Leave me the fuck alone." she finally looked at him. Her voice calm and hard, her eyes dark and serious. She continued to hold her tears in keeping her glare.

Dylan shook his head sighing again. He didn't say anything to her, he turned toward the door, opening it forcefully and slamming it shut as hard as he could. The noise made Brenda jump and close her eyes. She began to cry as she moved toward the door quickly reaching for the handle. She froze turning her back to it. She can't go after him, she told herself over and over again. Brenda leaned her back against the door closing her eyes again as tears streamed uncontrollably down her face. Her knees felt week, she collapsed to the ground not able to keep herself up anymore. She cried and cried…and cried…until there was none left…and then slowly pealed herself off the ground for the millionth time because of Dylan.

**

Dylan lay on his bed looking at the ceiling. He was sad…he was angry and confused. He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and kicked. There was a huge hole there now, it was empty and he could feel her absence now, more than before. Every emotion possible was rushing through his body at that moment and he couldn't bring himself to do anything about it. No matter what emotions were running through him, he felt numb, dead inside. He really hadn't expected Brenda to ever deny him. Maybe it was shallow and egotistical, but never in a million years did he ever think Brenda would tell him it was too late. Not now, not after everything they had been through. He may not deserve her, but they were connected, they needed each other, they belonged together. He had really ruined it this time, it was always the wrong time for them, they had time, back when they first broke up. Dylan knew how special she was to him, but they had time. She moved away, hell he missed her, but they had time, they got back together in London, lived togeher, spend everyday together, finally had a matured and loved relationship. No family drama's or other women, every bump in the road they hit it, no matter how many times they swirved out of the way...but still...they had time. Time was gone, Brenda was gone...time had actually ran out for them. Something Dylan himself had never really thought possible. He sighed as Kelly made her way into the bedroom, she may have even been in there longer but Dylan didnt care. She barely acknowledged him as she skimmed her closet for something to wear to pick up Brandon and to the after dark.

She turned holding two outfits in her hand. "Black dress or red?" she said lifting each up.

Dylan didn't even look, "Either." he mumbled.

Kelly looked at him oddly, "What's your problem? You didn't even look at them."

Dylan slowly brought his stare from the ceiling and looked at her, he shrugged, "Either." he showed no emotion as he spoke, "Better?" he was being a smartass.

Kelly rolled her eyes, "Whatever." she shook her head placing the black dress back in the closet. She continued to get dressed glancing at him lay there staring into space.

"Oh crap…I am going to be late to pick up Brandon." she said looking at her watch.

Dylan didn't say anything still staring at the ceiling. Kelly noticed, he was brooding, whats new, "What's wrong with you?" she said with attitude. "Is this about Brandon? Are you jealous I am picking him up?"

Dylan smirked and shook his head, _unbelievable_, he thought. He slowly looked at her, "It's not always about you…everything isn't about you." he raised his voice as he got up angrily, "Honestly Kel…I don't care you're seeing Brandon, I don't care what you wear to pick him up." he walked closer to her, "You could fuck him and I still wouldn't care." He pressed past her out of the bedroom as Kelly stood there shocked.

"Dylan?" she yelled after him. "Dylan…where are you going?"

Kelly jumped as she heard the back door slam shut. She exhaled more confused than anything. She stared around the empty room trying to figure out what had just happened, "Not jealous…right." she mumbled as she grabbed her purse not worrying what was up with Dylan's tantrum. She hurried out the back door, rushing, more worried about seeing Brandon and getting there on time than her own fiance.

**

Brenda hadn't moved in hours. She knew she had her performance and she knew she had to get going. She was never late, she was always there 3 hours early but tonight, she was going to be cutting it short. Her eyes looked toward the door hearing a quiet knock. She didn't want to deal with Dylan or Iris right now. She loved Dylan's mom, but that was all she needed at this point. Iris had away of making you feel better but she also had a way to make you think and Brenda didn't want to think about anything. She slowly brought herself to the door. She lifted up on her tip toes and looked out the peep hole. She breathed a sigh of relief noticing it was Jared. Brenda opened the door and saw a smiling Jared looked back at her.

"I thought we could ride to the theatre to…gether." He hesitated, the smile faded as he noticed the redness and puffiness in her. A slight flush to her cheeks, "Bren…what's wrong?" he said following her into the room.

Brenda turned around and collapsed into his arms. Jared embraced her back trying to comfort the hysterical sobs coming from her. "It's ok." He whispered, running his hand down her head. Brenda pulled away from him realizing she didn't know him all that well. They had recently become friends and here she was sobbing in his arms. She took a deep breath sitting on the couch.

She stared at the ground. "God...I am sorry."

Jared walked over and sat beside her, "What happened?" he said caring and sweet.

Brenda sniffed and wiped her nose quickly, "Well…since you're going to help me tonight I should probably start at the beginning." Brenda began telling Jared about Dylan, starting from the beginning, how they met, how they fall in love, the problems with her father, the cheating, the break up, the situation with Kelly, their reuniting, their time in London, their engagement and break up. She took him into the present. She opened up about her feelings on the wedding, the sex last night and what had happened earlier. As she finished Jared looked at her sadly. He rubbed down her back and took a deep breath.

"I am stupid right? For getting caught up with him and letting him treat me that way, for sleeping with him…for loving him." She looked down.

Jared took a deep breath and took his finger raising her chin to look at him. He shook his head slowly, "No." he responded. "Let me tell you a story." He leaned back into he couch getting comfortable and noticed Brenda do the same.

"My mom met my dad in high school. They were 16 years old and they fell madly in lovewith one another. There was some drama with his parents. They were wealthy, my grandfather was a power attorney and my mom's family was poor, blue collar, hard working, farm people. They didn't think my mother was a suitable companion for long term, they had girls lined up, waiting to hook my father up with any of them. Daughters of politicians, doctors, and other professionals. They fought for each otherthough and as soon as they were 18 years old, they eloped and got married. Very shortly after they were married I was born, then my sister. Back to back, we are only 9 1/2 months apart. My grandfather cut my father off so he worked hard to support my mother, my sister and I. My parent's relationship was struggling, being so young and alone without the support of their families; he met a girl…named Cathy and he had an affair with her." Brenda eyes widened but Jared continued, "He told my mother out of guilt and she was devastated, heartbroken, catatonic even...damaged. She kicked him out, my sister and I were 3 and 4 years old. It was okay for awhile and she forgave him enough to let him come back, it was good in the beginning but it didn't last long, my mother never said, but I think the past was too much and she may have forgavehim but didnt forget and she was never the same after that . After that we went back and forth, they shared custody and despite everything my father was a good dad, he really was, I resented him though for leaving my mother so broken." Jared looked up remembering, "When I was 5 years old, I remember walking into my father's room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed…with his head in his hands crying. Being that age, I wasn't sure what to do and I had never seen my father cry before, especially like that. I asked him what was wrong and he looked at me and said he had made the biggest mistake of his life letting my mother go, not fighting for her and for betraying her. He told me that he had lost his other half, his heart, his soul." Brenda tilted her head as she felt her heart break for his father, someone who could only be blamed for the whole thing but still she felt bad. Jared finally looked over at her, "People make mistakes Bren…Dylan…my father…they are only human. Love makes you do stupid things sometimes. So do I think you're stupid?" he shook his head with a smirk, "Not at all. No one can judge you when it comes to matters of the heart. That's what it comes down too, following it, listening to it. If you are done with it then that's your decision, if you cant be done with it then that's your decision too. You have to do what's right for you…no one else. You may be able to lie to your heart for while...but it will find the truth eventually."

Brenda looked down and swallowed the lump in her throat. They were quiet for a few moments and Brenda broke the silence. "I should probably get ready."

Jared nodded and gave her a sympathetic smile. Brenda got up and walked toward the bedroom but turned to look at Jared before she entered it, "Jared?"

"Hmmm?" he said slowly turning to look at her.

"So…what happened? With your parents I mean?"

Jared smiled a slow smile and looked down before meeting her gaze, "They have been married for 30 years, inseparable for 25 of them. I don't think my parents have spent 1 day away from each other since they got back together. You will not meet two people more in love, more together or more perfect for each other than them. I cant help but want it too, and growing up around them, seeing the looks they give each other, the kisses and affection, the undying love between them, the understanding and total devotion, I can't settle for less now. I have seen first hand the real thing, the affinity; it's definitely not something to be messed with." Jared sighed and kept his smile, "Go on…get ready."

Brenda smiled back, "Thanks." She murmured. Jared nodded and Brenda hurried to get ready for her show and…the dreaded After Dark.

As Brenda finished shoving her make up bag into the purse her cell rang. She answered rushed, "Hey Val."

"Hey Bren...how's beautiful sunny California? I swear to god, it was 45 degrees in the city today, its April for God sakes. Anyway whats the weather like? Let me guess...75 and sunny?" Valerie laughed but soon realized she was alone, "Bren?"

Brenda hesitated, "I am still here."

"Oh good...these freaking cellphones, I thought I lost you...so...what' it like being home?"

Brenda began to cry.

"Brenda? What's wrong?"

"Everything is shit..."

"You saw him?" she said quietly immediately recognizing the despair, it was the Dylan sadness.

"Oh yeah I saw him...my room is three doors down from his mother."

"Iris? Holy shit. What happened? Did you talk to him?"

Brenda cleared her throat, "Oh yeah I talked to him...I slept with him too."

Silence

"You had sex with Dylan? Oh my God. I am sorry I know you're hurting but..." Valerie laughed, "God I wish I was there to see Kelly's face."

"Oh it gets better, I ran into her too. I'm suppose to meet the whole gang, including the happy couple tonight at the After Dark."

Valerie sat quiet for a moment, "Oh Bren." she breathed out.

"It gets better...he told me that he still loved me...he wanted to call off the wedding and be with me."

"What a douche bag. You can't be serious? What did you say?" Valerie couldn't believe her ears, _so Dylan_, she thought to herself.

"I told him to leave me alone...to get out."

Valerie's heartbroke, "I am coming there." she said quickly.

"No...come on Val...your work, its ok...I have to do this. I can't let him do it anymore."

"Are you sure? I can be on the next plane...I should call Dylan that fucking asshole, he should buy my fucking ticket." Valerie murmured.

Brenda wiped her face and laughed a bit. "Look Val...I am sorry to lay everything out like this and go, but I have a show tonight and I am already going to be late. I'll call you later...I promise."

"Ok Bren." she said sadly. "Are you sure you are ok?"

"I will be...I always am right?"

Valerie took a deep breath, _not really_, she thought. "Alright Bren...call me...and break a leg tonight."

"I will...thanks."

"I love you." Valerie said feeling badly.

"I love you too...bye."

Brenda threw her phone into her purse and met Jared. Soon they were on their way to the show. Hopefully she really would break her leg, then she wouldn't have to face him...any of them.

_Leave me some love. Next chapter, Kelly picks Brandon up, and Brenda reunites with the infamous gang._


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 Hello Jealousy, Betrayal and Alcohol**

Kelly straightened her posture as she scanned baggage claim. Brandon's flight had landed 15 minutes ago and because of the heightened airport security since 9/11 she wasn't allowed at the gates anyway. She slowly paced left to right. She gently gnawed on her lower lip without realizing it. It had been three years since she had seen Brandon and Dylan or not, she couldn't pretend she wasn't excited to see him. At one time, this man was her rock, her other half. She absolutely, fully, entirely and completely adored him. Brandon was considerate, honest, smart, hard working, down to earth, reliable and handsome. He was so different than Dylan. Sure Dylan was sexy, mysterious and smart but he was also, inconsiderate, selfish, complicated, frustrating and completely and utterly unreliable. He lived off his millions, spoiled to the core even though he tried to hide it; he was used to getting what he wanted. He owned the club but did he really work hard for anything, not really. For the first time in over a year Kelly actually couldn't think of one reason why she wasn't with Brandon. Why they hadn't gotten married and why she ever thought there was something missing from her relationship with him. At the time she thought they were missing the fire, that spontaneous edge that her and Dylan had, the missing chandelier swinging factor. Swinging from chandeliers was not always a good thing because no matter how fun it is teetering off the edge, the rush and danger in it all, there will always come a time when that chandelier will pull out from the ceiling and crash to the ground. Is that what was happening with Dylan? Thinking about it now, the only thing missing from Brandon and Kelly was the volatile edge. It wasn't about physical or sex, they had that. They had been about comfort and stability that she misread as something wrong. Dylan and she had always been a nightmare. They were attracted to each other beyond belief but that's all. They never had any understanding or trust. They didn't even get a long that well. They never talked out their issues or discussed anything. The appeal about Dylan was the fact he was the ungettable get. From the start he was always something she couldn't have but wanted. Then when she got him, they realized they were too much alike to really be compatible but so drawn to the forbidden part it was hard to let go. How could she have missed that? Kelly felt guilty thinking these things. She was the one that wanted Dylan to marry her, and she did love him but it didn't take away the fact that Brandon…would never treat her the way Dylan had. Brandon would never take off without telling her where he was going, he would never hide an engagement or a past like his with Brenda from her. He would never belittle her and yell at her telling her he didn't care what she did or wore or if she slept with an ex. It wasn't possible, he just wouldn't do that. Brandon might have been high and mighty once in awhile but he would do and give the shirt off his back for anyone. And honestly, unlike Dylan and even unlike her, he really didn't have a selfish bone in his body. Her relationship with Brandon might have been predictable and routine, but what was wrong with that? She had dealt with emotional no shows like Dylan all her life, her mother, her father, why did she want that for the rest of her life? Why didn't the idea back then of stability and unconditional love and support take priority over a life of constant frustration and grief? Kelly sighed, what was she doing? This was just like her, the minute things fell apart with Dylan and Brandon reappeared, she was torn. How could she be in love with two people so different? She was just as selfish as Dylan, maybe she didn't deserve Brandon? Then she saddened, she had been asking herself why she hadn't realized but the truth was Brandon choose not to marry her too. She swallowed hard staring straight ahead as a million things flashed through her head. She was actually anxious about it then…it flushed away. As the crowd parted there he was, her rock, her stability. A wide smile spread quickly as she began moving toward him. Her eyes flowed down his frame. He looked good, he was wearing a light blue button down, untucked with black pants. His hair was freshly cut and darker than she remembered, his eyes were sparkling and crystal blue matching his shirt. She took a deep breath as he pushed the luggage stroller toward them. _Breathe_, she told herself; _just breathe…its just Brandon._

"Hey…beautiful." his voice calm and smooth.

"Heeeeey." she said with a smile.

They stood staring at each other for a moment; Brandon nervously let his arms swing out slightly trying to brush off the awkwardness. "Well…come here."

Kelly was relieved, she felt both arms wrap tightly around her waist. She simultaneously embraced him back, hugging him so tightly her arms over lapped around his neck. She closed her eyes and exhaled, letting her nervousness melt away. She smelled him, it was warm and familiar. They leaned out from each other keeping their closeness. She leaned in and pecked him on the cheek, "It's so good to see you." she whispered in his ear before pulling back.

He nodded looking to his right quickly before looking into her eyes again, "Yeah…you too." he said quietly as he stared at her.

There was another awkward yet oddly comforting silence between them. Brandon reached his hand taking the luggage stroller and began pushing it. Kelly walked closely beside him out of the airport. They stole quick glances at each other, turning away quickly when caught. Kelly realized something, everything suddenly became clear.

The ride was comfortable and friendly. Brandon caught Kelly up on his failed relationship and work. She told him about her work and the gang, not bringing up Dylan at all. There was a couple times he had fit in to the conversation but she left him out. After how he had treated her this evening, she really didn't have anything to say good about him, she also didn't want to get into it and knew Brandon…would see right through her. Kelly pulled into the After Dark parking lot, she turned off the ignition and slowly pulled out her key.

"So." Brandon said as he stared out the windshield, he slowly met her gaze, "Are you ready…to get married…settle down with Dylan? It will be here before you know it." Brandon swallowed hard covering the hurt in his heart and forced a smile.

"Uh…yeah…I guess…yes." Kelly looked to her hands in her lap.

Brandon looked at her intently furrowing his brow, "That didn't sound very convincing." he leaned his head lower causing her to look up at him. He gave her a crooked smile, reaching out and resting his hand on hers. "You ok?"

She shook her head quickly now looking at his hand over hers. He softly caressed it before giving it a squeeze. "No…nothing…I'm fine." she chickened out in opening up.

Brandon looked at her, he knew her, she was lying. He lifted his hand from over hers and brought his index finger to her chin. She slowly looked up at him, "Kel…you can tell me anything…you know that."

Kelly looked into his eyes. It was like a something attached to her chest, pulling her and drawing her into him. "It's Dylan." she breathed out, "I am having second thoughts…I don't know…if I love him." her voice turned frantic, "I mean…I don't know if its just…familiar or just the fact that he's been around…" Kelly closed her eyes and exhaled, "I don't know if I am in love with him anymore." She slowly opened her eyes. He looked surprised, his eyes wide as he sat quiet.

"Wow." he breathed out looking down before meeting her anxious stare.

"I'm horrible right." She sighed and looked down again.

"No…not horrible…but I am not going to lie and tell you this is a big…second thought." he looked at her and smiled, more out of awkwardness.

Kelly took a deep breath, "You remember when we were having second thoughts before our wedding…"

"Kel." Brandon cut her off looking away from her as he shook his head sadly.

"No…I mean before, during and after, I never questioned if I was in love with you. Never. I'm not even sure what happened, everything seems like a blur…like we didn't go through with it for no reason…this is so much different than that." Kelly sighed, "It's more than cold feet, or quick judgments…he's mean and secretive and unreliable. He's moody and selfish and distant. He has been for months, thinking about it he has been that way since he came back…I didn't realize it at first, but this last year that we have gotten back together it's just so obvious and…I just don't think I want to spend my life dealing with it."

Brandon inhaled, "Well…then you should talk to him, maybe he can reassure you."

"I know…I know…I just feel…like I am lying to myself, it's not real, its an act almost. I mean…" Kelly tried hard to make sense of what she was feeling. In her head it made perfect sense but as the words rolled out of her mouth it wasn't. "I feel more sitting here with you…than I feel for him."

Brandon sat quiet unable to really speak, what did that mean? Was it just an example that she felt more from me as a friend than him? "What are you saying Kel?"

"I'm saying…that I…"

Both Brandon and Kelly jumped hearing a loud knock on the passenger side window.

"Buuuuudy…what the hell are you guys doing? Bro…give me some love." Steve tried to open the door.

Brandon looked at Kelly quickly; he brought his attention back to Steve and smiled. He unlocked the door as Steve opened it fast.

"Jesus Bran…" Brandon got up with a laugh as he was forcefully pulled into a manly embrace. "God…I am glad your here." he patted on the back.

"It's good to be back." Brandon said laughing at his old friend. Kelly got out and forced a smile. "How are Janet and Maddie?" Brandon asked sincerely.

"They're good…are you kidding me right now, I can't even believe I am looking at you man." Steve kept his arm around him. "Hey Kel." he said without even looking.

"Hey Steve…thanks…its nice to see you too." she joked. "Don't let me come between the bromance."

Steve led them toward the club, making small talk and filling him in on things here and there. Brandon looked over at Kelly. They made eye contact, staring intently at one another as they made it into the club. There was so much unsaid.

Brandon greeted all his old friends. It felt really good to be back there, with them it felt like he had never left. It was hard to believe it had been three years since he had been home.

Donna smiled brightly, "Did you tell him about the surprise?" she said excitedly hooking arms with Kelly.

Kelly shook her head, "Nope…not yet."

"Surprise? What Surprise?"

Donna giggled as she saw Brenda make her way into the bar. She motioned her head toward the door. Brandon followed it and spotted his sister.

"Wow…it is a real reunion." he looked at Kelly, "You got a hold of Bren?" Brandon instantly felt badly, Brenda must had been found out.

"I ran into her at the hotel Iris is staying at. Crazy right? You and Brenda in L.A. at the same time."

"Yeah…crazy." Brandon lifted his beer taking a sip from it. Why did he have a feeling this night was just starting in the drama department.

**

Bren…relax huh…you look perfect and they already saw us, so we are kind of stuck talking to them." Jared said with a laugh.

Brenda groaned, "Fine."

They approached the group, Brenda didn't even get a hello in before she was bum rushed by Donna, "You're here!" she said embracing her tightly.

Brenda laughed hugging her back, "I am here."

"David look." Donna leaned out and pulled David to Brenda.

"Bren…it's been way too long…you look beautiful." David said nicely bringing his hand to her face before leaning away from her.

"I know you." Brandon said with a smile. She slowly wrapped her arms around her brother and exhaled.

"I am so glad you're here." she whispered. She felt him nod against her ear.

"So much for hiding out huh." he whispered before pulling from her embrace.

Brenda said hello to Steve and met Janet. "Everyone this is Jared…Jared this is…" Brenda brought her hand up, "David, Donna, Steve, his wife Janet, you know Kelly and my brother Brandon."

Jared went around shaking everyone's hand nicely. Donna lifted her eyebrows to Brenda and gave her an approving nod.

"Where's Dylan?" Donna said looking around.

Kelly brought the wine glass to her lips and sipped. She gave her a silent shrug.

"Kel…go find him, I have a surprise for you guys."

"Uh…Don…" Kelly began to shake her head but Brandon saved her.

"Maybe he's in his office, let me go say hi."

Brenda looked down quickly as Brandon passed her and headed to the office upstairs.

"Want a drink?" Jared whispered close to Brenda's ear.

"Yes! Thank you." she said relieved, dragging him to the bar. "If I am going to make it through this night, I need alcohol…lots and lots of alcohol." Brenda murmured.

Kelly looked at Donna, "A surprise?"

Donna smiled, "You'll see."

Kelly swallowed hard and downed the rest of her wine in one shot.

**

Brandon knocked gently on the office door.

"Go away!" Dylan answered.

"Dylan…man…it's me Brandon…can I come in?"

"Brandon?" Dylan's voice sounded surprised.

Brandon slowly turned the knob letting himself in, "Hey bro…" his smile faded. He looked at Dylan slumped over at his desk. His hand gripped around a high ball glass. His eyes were glazed over. It took him a minute almost like he was focusing and then gave Brandon a smile.

"Hey…Bran!" he set down his glass and pushed himself upright.

Brandon sighed and looked at his friend. He had seen him like this so many times before, it was always the same. The same look, the same swagger, the draw in his tone, the sag in his eyes. Brandon swallowed hard as Dylan approached him. He hugged him almost losing his balance.

"Woah…buddy…how many of those have you had? I didn't know you were drinking again man." Brandon said calm but his voice filled with disappointment.

"Oh…I am fine, how are you doing?"

Brandon nodded, "Good…definitely better than you."

Dylan shrugged him off, "I said I was fine." He reached for the door, "Come on let me buy you a drink."

Brandon reached to balance him as he swayed, "Maybe I should just drive you home. You look like you had your fill."

"No way man…I am good." Dylan leaned in and gave him a smirk, "Who's here?"

Brandon took a deep breath and shrugged tiredly, "Everyone…I guess."

"Your sister? Is she here?" his face became serious as he stared at Brandon.

Brandon tilted his head looking back at him, "Ah…yeah." he nodded, "She is here, with some guy…Jared or something."

"Great." Dylan opened the door and staggered through it.

"Wait…Dylan." Brandon exhaled loudly following him. This night just kept getting more and more interesting.

Brandon stayed behind Dylan as he made his way over to the group. Dylan stood next to Kelly, leaning down and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

Kelly smelled his breath and leaned away from him. Brandon stood close by watching. "Dylan, you're drunk." she whispered through her teeth.

He smirked and leaned into her, "Pretty and smart…who knew?"

Kelly crossed her arms over her chest holding back. She didn't want to make a scene. She nonchalantly looked at Brandon, who in return had heard everything.

"There you are…we have a surprise for you two." Donna said with a smile, "Oh wait…where's Bren?"

"I think she is still at the bar." David said as everyone's attention turned toward her.

Donna flung her hand gently to David's chest, "Go get her."

"Allow me." Dylan said with a smirk, paying little attention to the group around him.

"Come on Bren…that's enough." Jared reached for the empty shot glass. He slid the 5 empty ones away from her, "You are only going to feel sick." he said nicely.

Dylan walked slowly and slid in next to her. He leaned on the bar and got close to her ignoring Jared on her opposite side, "Hey." he said quietly.

Brenda turned toward him and rolled her eyes, "What do you want?" she said looking away from him. She waved to the bartender, "Another one please."

"Make that two." Dylan called out not looking away from her.

Brenda's head shot over to him, her face stern and hard, "You're drinking again?"

Dylan leaned in even closer, "You are too." he breathed out. Brenda made a face smelling his breath.

"Whatever…I don't even care." she shook her head looking to the front again.

Dylan leaned in even closer, his lips inches away from her ear, "I think you do." he whispered.

Brenda kept her eyes forward knowing how close he was to her. Even in the blur of all the shots she had, if she looked over at him, he would be too close to her lips.

"Hey Dylan…come on." Jared reached out setting his hand on Dylan's shoulder.

Dylan looked down at it and then looked at him. He smirked and shook his head, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." he brought his attention back to Brenda as Jared lowered his hand. He exhaled a rush of hot breath into Brenda's ear, "Ditch this clown, let's go."

"Damn it Dylan." Brenda raised her voice and shrugged him away from her.

Jared brought his hand to his shoulder again, this time more forcefully pushing him back, "Come on man, leave her alone."

Dylan flung Jared's hand off him, standing up straight and leaning his body into Brenda to get closer to Jared, "I told you not to so that." Dylan said through his teeth.

"You're in her space, I know there is a lot of history between you two but your fiancé is right over there, have some respect." Jared said firm.

The bartender brought the two shots over, Brenda slammed down the money grabbing the shot.

Dylan leaned down again taking his, "cheers." he held it toward Brenda. She shook her head, rolling her eyes and watched him shoot it back.

"God…you're disgusting, all that time being sober, how long have you been drinking? You don't just grow out of alcoholism Dylan."

Dylan smiled and was just happy she was talking to him. She was looking into his eyes, they were filled with sadness and disappointment. "It's because I am lost without you."

"Sorry excuse." Brenda murmured taking the shot herself.

"Come on." Donna pushed her way through to them. She grabbed Brenda and Dylan's hand pulling them toward the group.

She let go of Brenda's hand and pulled Dylan's further placing him facing the group next to Kelly. "Ok so…since you guys are getting married in a few weeks and how considering we haven't all been together like this in what 8 years." Donna eyed Brenda with a smile, "I thought it was a good idea to have a little celebration in honor of the future Mr. & Mrs. Dylan McKay and the Walsh twins." Donna wheeled a cake through and set in front of the couple. A bartender was there passing out flutes of champagne getting ready for the toast.

Brenda looked down tightening her grip on her cocktail. She brought her cocktail to her lips and dropped her head back taking it down in two gulps. She set down her empty glass and reached over grabbing two glasses of champagne off the tray. She took deep soothing breaths, _Mr. & Mrs. McKay_, she thought, this was an absolute nightmare.

"Bren…" Jared whispered close to her ear, "Let's go."

"I am fine." Brenda said louder than she meant to. Making everyone look at her, "You can go, it's too obvious if I leave now." She whispered as the attention dwindled away from her.

Jared looked at her sadly, "I know this is hard, but drinking yourself stupid isn't going to help things." Jared spoke quietly; nobody was paying attention except Dylan.

"Yeah Jared…no big deal…you can go." Dylan said loudly causing everyone to look at him.

Brenda made eye contact with him, she begged him with her eyes to stop. Then she glanced over at Kelly who was giving him daggers. Brenda wasn't sure what was going through her head at that point.

"Uh…ok…" Donna tried to interrupt the silence. "To the Walsh twins, welcome home. We have missed you both so much. I am glad you guys are here, we all are and I know that I can say for Dylan and Kelly how happy they are you both could make it for their special day." Everyone lifted their glasses, except Brenda, Dylan, Kelly and Brandon. "Cheers."

Brenda kept her glance down as she felt the tears coming. It took her everything she had to hold them in. It wasn't Donna's fault; she didn't know Brenda had no intention of going to the wedding. She didn't know what had transpired, she was just being Donna.

"To Dylan and Kelly…congratulations…may your life be filled with happiness and love and I think I speak for the rest of the group when I say…freaking finally." Donna giggled, "Good luck guys."

Brenda's head slowly raised, she began breathing heavily as she stared at Dylan and he just stared back. His eyes were sad and focused on her. It was suppose to be here, it was suppose to be her freaking finally…but it wasn't and not only had she lost him she had to stand there pretending she didn't care. She felt a panic attack, hyperventilation maybe, she wasn't sure. She felt Jared's hand move around her waist. "Come on Bren." he pulled her gently.

She nodded, "I can't do this." Brenda breathed out, she felt on the verge of collapsing or maybe just screaming and crying. Whatever it was, she wasn't going to stick around to find out.

"I know." he whispered, "Let's get out of here." he pulled her a little harder.

Dylan grabbed the small cake lying in front of him and smashed it in Jared's face, "Maybe she doesn't want to go with you." Dylan yelled.

Jared had enough of him, he flung the access cake he had wiped from his face and reached out grabbing Dylan's shirt. The bouncer and David, Brandon and Steve moved in so quickly to pull them apart, it wasn't quick enough for anything to get out of hand. The bouncer began dragging Jared to the exit. Brenda broke down turning around quickly.

Dylan squirmed out of Brandon and Steve's arms, "Let me go." his voice filled with anguish. He caught up with Brenda who hadn't gotten far. He wrapped his hand around her arm gripping it and pulling her back to him, "Brenda, wait."

Brenda in tears flung his hand off her, "Why are you doing this to me? Did I not do enough? Did I not love you enough? I don't deserve this…its like I am forever punished for having loved you, I feel like an asshole."

Dylan brought both hands up gripping her face, "I'm the asshole…I fucked up." He breathed out, "I love you, you can't lie to me Bren, about the way this makes you feel, the way you look at me and the other night. You can't lie to me…I can't lose you again. You wanted me to fight for you, this is me fighting for you Bren." Dylan let her face go and took a deep breath, "You can't tell me that what you have with that guy is even in the same ballpark as us."

"It doesn't have anything to do with him." Brenda said tearfully.

"Did you tell him? About us…about the other night?" he said quietly.

The gang stood shocked at what was happening in front of them. Brandon looked over at Kelly who was just watching them. Her face frozen, no tears, no emotion, just still.

Brenda crumbled, "I did…because it didn't matter." Brenda cried, "We had sex…it was all it was…it was a mistake." Brenda said loudly.

The gasp from Donna and Janet made Brenda close her eyes realizing how close they were to them. She didn't look over, she knew Kelly heard and she couldn't face her.

"It wasn't a mistake to me." Dylan said back to her, not looking at their audience. He brought her face to his and kissed her hard.

Kelly's lip quivered as she watched it all unfold. Brenda pushed him away, "Are you fucking crazy?" She covered her mouth with her hand as tears streamed down her face. She slowly looked over making eye contact with Kelly. She looked angry, she looked upset, she didn't look surprised. She watched Kelly shake her head and move toward them. As she got close, Dylan looked over at her.

Kelly brought her hand up and slapped him with all her might across the face. "Get your stuff out of my house." she leaned in practically hissing through her teeth. "We are so…over, it has been, it always was." she said almost exhausted.

She turned to Brenda, she had something to say, something mean and nasty but nothing came out as Brenda braced herself for it. Instead Kelly glared at her, tears filling her eyes, "Payback is a bitch right?" she said as tears rolled down her face. "Well look at that…you got me back." She took two steps backward looking at Dylan and turned running out of the club.

Brandon made eye contact with his sister; Brenda looked down ashamed and looked back at him. She gave him a small nod and looked in the direction Kelly went. Brandon went after her taking that as an okay. She really didn't want to discuss it with him anyway.

Brenda swallowed hard and looked toward the group. They all stood there stunned, no one tried to comfort her, no one chased after Kelly. They had all seen this a million times over, no matter what different edge it had to it this time. Steve shook his head as Dylan looked at him. They slowly turned away not having anything to say to either of them. Most too afraid too, most to confused too.

Brenda looked at Dylan with guilt filled eyes, she had nothing to say either, instead she turned away from him as he reached for her and walked toward the opposite exit, defeated and emotionally drained. The cool air hit her face as she opened the doors and she inhaled closing her eyes briefly. She glanced around looking for Jared but didn't see him anywhere; she didn't blame him for leaving after getting kicked out. She reached her hand out, flagging a cab. She opened up the back door and got in, "The Beverly Royale." She murmured as the alcohol, the crash in emotion hit her harder.

The opposite door opened swiftly as Dylan rushed in. Brenda was too drained to even fight with him. She felt like the lowest specimen on the planet. "Miss…do you know him?" the driver said.

Brenda looked at him and nodded slowly. The cab driver placed the car in drive and took off. Brenda rested her head against the window and watched the city lights buzz by. She didn't look at Dylan; she didn't say a word to him. They drove in silence to the hotel.

_**So? Drama right? I have to apologize how choppy this chapter is, it's a lot of dialogue and sometimes it turns out like that. There was a lot of base to cover and I hope it wasn't difficult to read. Anyway let me know if you loved it, hated it, didn't get it haha. Next chapter, the Beverly Royale and some BK. Also there is another surprise. ; P**_


	13. Chapter 13

_Hello kids, here is chapter 13, Rated M+ for hot and steamy. I am wiggling my eyebrows right now but you can't see me. HA Anyway enjoy and be prepared for some sexiness. I can and will take full responsibility for anyone molesting their significant other tonight. :-)_

**Chapter 13 Brenda's Choice**

Neither Brenda or Dylan had talked at all on the way home from the After Dark. Brenda's eyes were heavy and since all the drama had settled her buzz was full force and she officially felt drunk. She glanced at Dylan, his eyes were glassy, he was drunk too but seemed to be in control. She sighed loudly as she hit the up button and crossed her arms waiting impatiently. She reached into her purse to collect her vibrating phone.

"Yeah." she answered.

"Brenda…are you ok?" Jared asked concerned.

"Hey Jared." she looked at Dylan who looked over at her. "Yeah I am fine. I am really sorry…"

"Bren…its fine, don't worry about me, did you make it home or are you still at the club?"

"I'm at the hotel."

"Alone?" Jared regretted asking.

"No…Dylan is here." Brenda said nonchalantly.

"Good…those damn bouncers kicked me out and threw me in a cab, I should have known better than to pick a fight with the owner, no matter who was right or wrong, I just should have known I would have lost that battle."

Brenda sighed, "I am so sorry."

"Brenda…stop, honestly its fine. Get some sleep, I'll call you tomorrow."

"Thanks Jared." Brenda said quietly, knowing Dylan was still looking at her trying to understand what they might have been talking about.

"Well." Jared laughed, "Dylan sure didn't like the idea of us together. Did it continue to escalate after I left?"

"Oh…you have no idea. I'll fill you in later." Brenda shook her head.

"K…night Bren."

"Night." Brenda closed her phone and placed it back into her purse as the elevators door opened.

She walked in and Dylan followed, "That was Jared?" Dylan finally spoke.

"Yeah." Brenda watched the numbers light up as the elevator rose.

Dylan chuckled and Brenda looked at him oddly, "What?" she said rudely.

Dylan shrugged with a smile, "I was just thinking."

"About?" her head leaned in a bit but she kept her tone.

"I was just wondering what kind of boyfriend you had there, that's all."

"Dylan…stop making me ask questions, what are you talking about?"

"If I was your boyfriend and you had just told me you had slept with your ex and that he was with you at the hotel at 1 o'clock in the morning…I wouldn't be so nice about it. In fact I would be on my over. So I was wondering if Jared and I would get another chance to finish what we started? I mean what kind of boyfriend wouldn't care if you were with me? Maybe he doesn't care about you as much as I feared." Dylan smiled and lifted his eyebrow.

"Well you're an ass and he's different than you."

"I see that." Dylan still smiled.

The doors opened and Brenda began walking first, "I don't know why you think its your business anyway, he is a good friend and he knows what I went through with you because again you're an ass and he feels bad for me. He wants me to be ok and he wanted to make sure I got home safely…so obviously he does care." Brenda rambled drunkenly.

Dylan followed her and nodded, "Ok…maybe…but that doesn't explain the part of him not being mad you are with me."

"He wants me with you, he thinks I should hear you out, give you a chance." She said quietly as she trucked down the hall.

Dylan's smile faded, "Huh?"

Brenda sighed and stopped. She turned herself to face him, "Jared is not my boyfriend. I don't have a boyfriend. Jared is someone I have worked with for years and we became friend recently. He just so happened to be visiting me when all of us ran in to each other and I…" Brenda looked down.

"You lied…because of me?" Dylan slowly smiled, "You were trying to make me jealous?" Dylan's ego oozed out of him.

"No…I lied because of Kelly, she had you and…I just didn't want to give her the satisfaction." Brenda admitted and turned and started toward her room again. They passed Iris's room and came to hers. She looked over at him confused, "What do you think your doing?" Brenda asked seeing he had passed his mothers room and was waiting for her to open the door.

Dylan shrugged, "I am just waiting for you to open the damn door…that's all."

"This is my room, I assumed you would stay with your mom."

"I am not waking my mother up now."

"Well you're not staying here." Brenda said frankly.

"I have no where else to go…someone had to open their big mouth and get me kicked out of my house."

Brenda looked down, "I am sorry…I didn't mean…"

Dylan started laughing, "Oh please Bren…you did me a favor, it would have happened eventually."

"You are such a jerk." Brenda stuck her key in the door and opened it. She let herself in and turned in the doorway, "Well goodnight…I'm sorry I ruined your housing arraignments and I am sorry I blabbed to all our friends what a big fat slut I am and I am sorry I ruined your marriage." she wasnt very convining.

Dylan shook his head still carrying that smug smile, "No you're not."

Brenda loudly sighed, "You…are…unbelievable. Do you think women find your smug ass sexy? You are sooo not sexy."

Dylan kept his confidence, "You don't think I am sexy?"

Brenda shook her head. "Not...at...all."

"Well…then you won't mind if I sleep on your couch, of course unless you are lying about my lack of sexiness and you think me being there will cause you to want to rip my clothes off and have me do things to you until you are screaming my name with pleasure…then I guess I understand why you wouldn't want me there."

Brenda mouth dropped, "Unbelievable." she murmured and moved out of the way allowing him to come in. She walked past him and set down her purse and stepped out of her heels. "Fine since you're here, why don't you tell me just how long you have been drinking?"

Dylan nodded expecting it would be brought up eventually, "Since about 8 o'clock…and you?"

"Dylan cut the shit, did you relapse tonight? This is serious, you didn't drink at all when we were together. I don't like it."

Dylan looked down seeing that familiar disappointed stare, "I started drinking again when I moved here...after we split up."

"And everyone let you?" Brenda was shocked.

Dylan shrugged, "It was a tough time for me when I left you…I am not going to lie, but I put up a good front in front of the gang, they never mentioned anything, I guess they thought I was in control."

"Oh come on Dylan…I am having a hard time believing Kelly didn't say anything to you about drinking."

Dylan shook his head, "Nope…not a word. I got into some heavy shit when I first got back here. I started doing heroin, this place brought back a lot of memories, of Toni…you. I think they just didn't say anything because they were just glad I was home and knew how much crap I had went through."

Brenda swallowed hard, "Heroin?"

Dylan nodded, "I am not proud of it Bren…but it wasn't like I could call you and ask for help."

Brenda looked down, "I wish I would have known."

"Why?" Dylan moved closer to her, "What would you have done? You hated me…you gave me back your ring, you told me to leave."

Brenda exhaled and closed her eyes, "I don't know…maybe…maybe I would have came here if you needed me." she said quickly.

Dylan lifted an eyebrow, "Then I am sorry I didn't." he said honestly.

There was silence between them as they talked seriously. The alcohol took down the front Brenda had put up and everything just seemed calmer. No matter how mad she may have been at him, she loved him, and she would never want anything bad to happen to him. She lived through his recovery, knowing the constant battle he had been through, she didn't want that for him. She swallowed hard and nodded, "Well…I am going to go to bed." she said reluctantly. "But promise me, you will go to a meeting and not make this a habit…promise me."

Dylan looked down and nodded, "I would do anything for you."

Brenda took a deep breath and gave him a nod back. She moved her way to the bedroom.

Dylan watched her walk away, he shut his eyes and exhaled, how was he going to get her back? He walked toward the bedroom and pushed open the door. He walked in swiftly, "Bren?"

As he rounded the corner she had moved to see what he wanted and they smacked into each other. Both losing their steadiness from their already dicey balance. Dylan grabbed Brenda to break her fall as she fell on top of him. They looked at each other, the longing pulled at their insides. Brenda began to laugh and after an odd stare Dylan joined her. Only two people as drunk as them would find any kind of humor in the night of drama they had experienced. Brenda rolled to her back and continued to crack up. Dylan's laughter subsided as he turned to his side, holding his head up with his hand, elbow resting on the floor. He looked over at her, she looked beautiful. He hadn't seen her laugh like that in so long, it was almost contagious as he smiled at her. It was the Brenda he remembered and longed for.

Her head turned toward him, "What?" a wide smile played on her face, "What are you looking at?"

His lips pursed together briefly, "You."

Brenda kept her smile, "Why?"

"You're beautiful." he murmured. He scooted himself closer to her. Staring intently in her eyes and moving his fingers to her face. He grazed his fingers tips along the side of her forehead, gently pushing her hair off her face. He noticed the lump in Brenda's throat fight its way down but he continued anyway. "You don't know how much I missed you." his fingers moved down the side of her face. They stopped at her chin as his thumb rolled across her lips.

Brenda closed her eyes as she noticed his face lean into her. Expecting to feel his lips meet hers she waited for it but instead she felt them on her jaw, then her cheek, he gently moved to her nose, her eyelid, temple and lastly he slowly drew out the kiss on her forehead, lingering close to her. For being drunk, Dylan wasn't acting belligerent he was being careful, sweet and sensual. He leaned up and looked at her, stroking her cheek again and leaning down and planting the gentle kisses along the same lines on the opposite side of her face.

"What are you doing?" Brenda whispered with her eyes closed as she felt his soft lips move tenderly against her.

"Remembering your face. I thought I had it memorized but the pictures in my head don't hold a candle to the real thing."

Brenda exhaled and slowly opened her eyes. She gave him a small smile and forced herself to a sitting position. Her movement made him have to move from her and he slowly sat up to join her. "I should get some sleep." she murmured without looking at him.

Dylan exhaled loudly, "Yeah." he breathed out.

They both took a deep breath and helped each other pull themselves off the ground. Brenda and Dylan looked at each other in a long silent stare. Slowly they turned from each other. As Dylan started to take a step Brenda stopped him.

"Dylan?" her voice had much more tone to it now.

He turned quickly and found her in front of him as she pushed him against the wall. Dylan stumbled against it but didn't have time to think about it as Brenda's lips crashed with his. She had her body pressed up against him firmly. As they kissed hungrily, Dylan's hands roamed, down her spine, tightly around her waist, finally settling on her hips. He roughly grabbed at her pulling her against him even tighter, hearing her moan against his mouth. He moved quickly, pulling her with him as he traded dominance.

She breathed out loudly as she hit the wall, leaning her head back as his lips attacked her neck. Their breathing in sync and loud, they panted through the kisses as their lips reached each other again. Dylan slid his hands up the sides of her thighs.

"Dylan." she breathed out feeling his touch move to her butt gripping her ass roughly.

"You drive me crazy." Dylan breathed out feeling her bare ass against his palms. Dylan felt the top of her thong and without further thought he brought both hands to the bottom of her dress, lifting it up only breaking the kiss when the dress passed over her head. He flung it to the floor and leaned in kissing her again, feeling her hand on his face and then her fingers gripping his hair. He had to have her.

As they roughly and feverishly undressed each other, clothes flew around the room as their neediness surfaced. Dylan was all over the place caressing and kissing her breasts, her neck, and her face. Their noises were loud and pleasing as they fed off each other and the sensation of their touches. His fingers found her center and Brenda closed her eyes panting heavily as he found the spot with no effort. As the kissing became more urgent Dylan moved both hands to her hips, moving them smoothly down the back of her thighs. With one swift motion he lifted her, pressing himself between her legs and up against the wall. Brenda responded by wrapping her legs securely around him, crossing her ankles for support. As Dylan's lips and tongue glided effortless against her neck and jaw line, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck feeling him lean into her supporting his weight with her against the wall. Adjusting subtly, Dylan entered her slowly but powerfully as they both moaned out loudly at the contact both had been yearning for. The movement slow and controlled, letting them feel every inch of each other in ecstasy. Dylan gaining a comfortable rhythm began sinking into her harder, causing their voices to fill the room. Brenda's back rising up and down the wall with every movement Dylan made, his breathing, his sexy groans, the sweet passionate talk in her ear, sent her into overdrive.

"Oh…God…Dylan." Brenda moaned out loud with every thrust as Dylan quickened his pace.

He exhaled loudly, "God you feel so good." Dylan breathed out kissing her deeply switching their breaths through their noses. As the intensity built, their moans and grunts of pleasure became louder and urgent as it was apparent they both were about to come undone. Brenda tightened her grip around his waist with her legs as she felt the friction build. The tightening of her lower belly sent charges throughout her body. The tingle within her center throbbing waiting for release. The start of her orgasm was emotional and electric as she whispered into his ear she was coming. Dylan's panting became louder as he picked up his speed causing her climax to become more intense dragging it out longer, making it more powerful. Finally she felt his body stiffen as his thrust became slower and deeper as he buried his face in her neck. She knew he was at the end of his wit feeling his body shudder against hers. With a groaned exhale she knew he had reached where she had been moments before. He leaned out, holding her to him, joined as one. They both closed their eyes as their foreheads pressed together making not one part of their bodies not connected. Catching their breaths they tried to collect themselves. With a steady grip holding Brenda around his waist he lifted one hand up pushing back her hair from her face so he could look at her. He leaned in gently kissing her lips, slowly, tenderly, allowing his tongue to graze hers in the most loving way. They both opened their eyes looking deeply at each other.

Their noses side by side, their lips practically touching, "Stay with me Bren." Dylan whispered, "Come back to me baby...please" His voice soft and sexy, "We belong together."

Dylan reached up brushing the tear that had betrayed her, as she looked into his eyes. She thought for a moment, "I know we do." She whispered back. "You want to come home…to London?" she tilted her head running her fingers through his hair.

"More than anything." He breathed out.

Brenda flew to a sitting position in her bed as her eyes popped open. She was panting as she realized where she was. Sitting in her bed she came too and moaned feeling the effects of her sudden movement making her head pound.

"Ughhh." She groaned. "Nice Brenda...nice dream" She murmured rubbing down her face.

"What was it about?" Dylan mumbled.

Brenda head shot to him lying next to her. "Oh my god." She said quickly. "Are you…did we...huh?" Brenda stuttered and then lifted the covers looking under them. Noticing herself completely naked, she looked over towards Dylan and noticed the same. "Oh man." She whined dropping the covers and covering her mouth.

"What?" Dylan leaned up on his elbows.

"We…we had sex…in this bed…last night?" she said shocked.

Dylan smiled and raised his eyebrow, "Well…not technically." Brenda's face relaxed as if she was relieved, "Not in the bed anyway…against the wall actually."

Brenda looked toward the wall; she lifted herself a little seeing their clothes flung around the room. Her hand flew to mouth again, "Oh…my...God."

Dylan chuckled, "Yeah you said that a lot last night too."

Brenda was not laughing. She pouted flopping back down on the bed and pulling the covers over her head, "I am disgusting."

Dylan moved closer to her, "Bren…you are not." he said reaching for her.

Brenda eyed him under the covers, as he got closer, so did his nakedness, "Can you…Ugh…can you put some pants on?" she whined.

Dylan pulled the cover over his head and caught her looking at him, "Why? Don't like what you see?" he said playfully.

Brenda's eyes glanced down one last time as she groaned mad at herself, he was aroused and she forgotten how big he was. She shifted dramatically flopping to her side away from him tossing the pillow over her head.

Dylan laughed out loud, "Ha ha you really don't remember?"

"No" the muffled sound of her voice came out from under the pillow.

"What was the dream about then?" Dylan kept his smile loving every minute of the playfulness. He scooted slowly toward her.

"It was…nothing…nothing…if I cant remember we had sex it either A wasn't that good…or B it never happened." Brenda took the pillow off her head, "If we had sex, then where's the condom wrapper or something? I need proof"

Dylan's mouth dropped, "Excuse me…not good…you sure didnt act like it wasnt good, actually I think you rather enjoyed yourself…and…we didn't use one." he rushed the last part.

Brenda's mouth dropped, "Again? Eww…who knows what nasty whores you have been with." She sat up again quickly, "Why would you do that? Why would you take advantage of me being so drunk? Why…why…why?" Brenda acted hysterical.

"Ummm I was drunk too?" he said innocently with a shrug, "And I don't know why I didn't use anything, habit…I guess…you aren't on the pill anymore?"

"No…why would I be? I haven't had sex with anyone in 3 years." Brenda gasped covering her mouth with her hand. _Shit…now he thinks I am a loser._

A wide smile spread across his face as he got up leaning close to her, "Really?"

Brenda rolled her eyes at him, "No."

Dylan laughed again, "Brenda you are an amazing actress don't get me wrong but lying…not your thing." He took his hand to her face, "You don't remember anything, not even after, the things we said to one another?" It dawned on him, she had practically taken him back and now what?

Brenda swallowed hard, so it wasn't a dream at all, she was just having a flashback, "No…I don't remember anything." She lied.

Dylan looked down sadly. He thought he had gotten so far but now, he was right back where he started. Brenda looked at him, guilt from her lying set in. She sighed and looked down. Their heads snapped up and looked toward the bedroom door. The front door closed loudly, they looked at each other then back at ther door.

"Oh God…who the hell is that?" Brenda frantically tried to keep the blankets around her trying not to expose herself and tried to gather her clothes which were everywhere. "What if its Iris…what if its Brandon." Brenda gasped, "What if its Kelly?"

Dylan lounged back and brought his hands behind his head, "Who cares."

Just then there was a gentle knock on the bedroom door. Brenda leaped back into bed to cover herself. She lay next to Dylan, taking the covers and covering both of them. She felt him wrap his arms around her and pull her into him and she gently elbowed him.

"Bren?" Valerie peaked her head in.

"Valerie?" Brenda said surprised peaking her head out. She let out an uncomfortable laugh, "How did you get in here?"

Valerie looked at her oddly opening the door further, "I figured you didn't leave this damn room much, I told the front desk I was Brenda Walsh, I was staying in room 536 and I had lost me key. She believed me of course, obviously you hadnt been out much." Valerie rolled her eyes. "You didn't honestly think that after our conversation last night I would not come here and help you face Mr. & Mrs. douche bag. Come on...I took the red eye."

"Douche bag?" Dylan whispered and he received another elbow to the ribs.

Valerie noticed the clothes thrown around the room. She looked back at her, "What the hell happened last night?"

"Umm…I got drunk…"

"And took off all your clothes?" Valerie bent over.

Brenda let out a laugh, "Yeah I don't really know…I guess so." she closed her eyes in humiliation.

Valerie bent back up, "Yeah…these don't look like yours." she smiled and held up a pair of black boxer briefs.

Dylan held in his laughter, Brenda lay in front of him, her naked body spooned against his. He reached around her and began touching her.

Brenda froze feeling both hands on her breasts, she swallowed hard trying to keep a straight face. She threw her elbow at him again. He didn't budge a muscle as he gently continued, pinching her nipple. She jumped.

"Brenda…you are bad, is he here still?" Valerie looked toward the bathroom, "Who was it? First Dylan…then someone else, I can't believe you, I have taught you well you little hoe."

"Valerie can you just give me a second." she said elbowing Dylan harder when she felt his hand moving down her stomach.

She looked at her and noticed the bulge under the bed moving, she inhaled loudly, "Oh my god he is sleeping in the bed with you still?"

Brenda froze again as Dylan's hand slipped in between her legs, "Ahhh…just give me a second…please." she shuddered.

"Oh yeah…sorry." Valerie put up her hands. "I'll just wait out here." She backed out of the bedroom awkwardly and closed the door behind her.

Brenda relaxed closing her eyes from his touch, "That…was mean." she got out short of breath.

"Since when are you close to Valerie?" Dylan thought for a moment.

"There is a lot of things you dont know about me now." She said frankly.

Dylan tossed the blankets from over his head pushing her to her back. He smiled down at her and continued to tease her with his hand. He leaned down and kissed her as she whimpered under his touch, to his surprise she didn't pull away. "What am I doing?" she whispered in between kissing.

"Following your heart hopefully." Dylan said mid kiss going back in deepening it.

Brenda sighed pushing him slightly, "Come on…this is going to be interesting." Brenda thought about Valerie waiting to see who the hell was naked in her bed. She knew Valerie well enough to know she was going to hear about this and never let her live it down.

Dylan let her sit up, he watched her swing her legs off the bed. He pulled her back forcing her to her back. He moved hovering over her, "Dylan…Valerie is right out there…she is waiting for me." Brenda whispered.

"She can wait a little longer." Dylan whispered back, leaning his weight to her and kissing her deeply.

Brenda wasn't sure why but she let him, she even enforced it as she moved her legs open allowing him to slip between them. How come all the right things had come out of her mouth. All the things she wanted to say to him and her doubt about taking him back, she had no problem telling him. Then her heart, her body, physically she couldn't refuse him. She was saying one thing and doing another and she didn't know how to fight it, how to stop the mixed signals. As she felt Dylan touching her and kissing her there was no better place then where she was. She could do two things…she could enjoy herself, lose herself in him like she had been knowing by next week she would be back in London, back in her flat, back to her real life or…she could speak now and tell him how much she missed him, how her life hasn't been the same since he left, how she still tries on her ring every other day and wears it around the house since he left it there. She loved him, she loved him more than anything. He was Dylan…she had never been in love with anyone like him. Speak now or enjoy herself? The answer seemed easy but it wasn't, it was never easy with Dylan McKay. And if anyone knew that fact it was Brenda.

_Ok so hopefully this chapter made you laugh a bit, made your mouth drop, whatever it was I wanted a reaction lol I thought I would have fit BK in this but BD's night just got too long. They will be in the next one. So surprised Val is there? What do you think she will do when she sees who the mystery naked guy is? Let me know. Also this story isn't going to be really long and there is going to be soe weird stuff with BD still. It isn't over yet…hahaha. Review pretty please with sugar on top._


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 Loose Ends**

Brenda and Dylan dressed silently. They would steal glances at one another every now and then trying to be subtle yet getting caught. Brenda pulled her pajama pants up and began to tie the draw string on them. She looked up at Dylan as he pulled over his shirt.

"So are you going to prepare me for the awkwardness of Valerie before we head out there?" Dylan said picking up his button down and swinging it around him inserting one arm at a time.

Brenda smiled and took a deep breath, "When I went on tour, after we broke up, I ran into Valerie in New York. We instantly clicked and caught up. She knows everything." Brenda's smile faded remembering that painful time.

"Everything?" Dylan took a deep breath, "Great." He finished buttoning his shirt.

Brenda smirked and gave him a small shrug; she didn't feel sorry for him. He had it coming. She turned and opened her bedroom door. Valerie got up from the couch and grinned at her.

Her eyebrow shot up as she closed the distance between them, "Round two? I'm jealous." She murmured.

"Val…thanks for coming…that was really sweet, you really didn't have to but I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." Brenda and Valerie hugged, "But maybe I wasn't needed after all, who are you screwing?" Valerie whispered.

Brenda pulled away from her and looked down as Dylan came out. Valerie sighed and shook her head. "I should have known." She looked at Brenda with disappointment.

"Good to see you too Val." Dylan said with a smirk.

Valerie stared at him, "Dylan." She acknowledged his presence in a tone that was anything but friendly.

Brenda looked at them back and forth, "Alright…this is…weird. I am going to get in the shower. Val, have you eaten? I don't have to be at the theatre for a while, maybe we can get some breakfast or something?" Brenda kept her tone light, the tension was thick in the air and Brenda didn't want to be present, knowing Valerie would most definitely make her opinion known.

"Sure Bren…sounds good." She forced a smile and watched Brenda head for the bedroom.

"You two behave." She warned them before disappearing.

Dylan and Valerie glared at each other for several moments until Dylan finally broke the ice, "Alright Valerie, let me have it, it isn't like you to not put your two cents in."

Valerie smirked and shook her head. She moved to the oversized chair and sat down leaning back into it, crossing her arms. "So…how's Kelly? You must be getting excited…wedding and all, what… you thought you'd fill yourself with some nostalgia before crossing that threshold? Or maybe I should say you thought you would fill her with some." Valerie gave him a sarcastic smile.

Dylan shook his head and smirked, "I see you haven't changed, still feisty, inappropriate and bitchy as ever."

"I see you haven't changed either, still a two timing prick. Doesn't the triangle ever get old for you or does your dick get hard off the torment?"

"Val…" Dylan looked down.

"No…I am curious…really…do you get off on it, or maybe you just mistake Brenda's love for you for a love of masochism."

"That's a big word for you." Dylan said sarcastically.

Valerie let out a laugh, "Yeah…because it takes a genius to see your best friend being humiliated and abused by you in order to feel sexually fulfilled. Maybe I am wrong maybe she enjoys the misery, but something tells me there is more than that going on here. I mean it is you after all, Mr. Selfish." Valerie kept her glare.

Dylan stood silent as he glanced at the ground.

"What Brenda sent her regret to your wedding and you wanted to change her mind, have her come, sit pretty and watch you and Kelly in your joke of a wedding, pledge your undying love to one another. Remind her that not only did the love of her life cheat on her with her best friend, leave her for her, just to be forgiven and taken back, to be left again and then to watch the proof that it might actually be meant to be. All her sadness, all her misery and her broken heart was worth it because the two of you were actually supposed to end up together? She was just road block right? A long time ago." usually the words Dylan had once said about Brenda.

"You don't know anything Valerie, and the truth is…it's none of your damn business anyway."

Valerie got up, "Brenda is my best friend and you have seriously gone crazy if you think I am going to sit here and watch her crumble again. To get her hopes up that this may be it just to have you shit on her again. It's a slap in the face Dylan, you can't let her go and she is the one that suffers for it. It's old and totally fucked up. It shouldn't be Brenda's fault you can't make up your mind." Valerie was now yelling, there were a lot of things she had wanted to say to Dylan and she wasn't going to miss her chance.

Dylan pursed his lips tightly and looked down as the realness and sadness of her words that had overwhelmed him. "I know." He whispered, "I know it's true." Dylan looked up at her with tears in his eyes, "I can't let her go…that's the thing, I love her." He said seriously.

Valerie softened but tried to hide it seeing the tears in his eye, "If you loved her enough, you would let her go and you would stop hurting her."

Dylan looked at Valerie, his eyes filled with pain, "I can't do that." He whispered. "I can't give up on her again.

There was a long pause and Dylan spoke again, "Kelly and I broke up, there is not going to be a wedding. She knows about me and Bren, last night she told me to get my shit and move out."

Valerie's eye's grew wide as she calmed herself and took it in. She had missed some stuff that was for sure.

"Look Val…I appreciate you sticking up for Brenda, I appreciate the friendship you have given her while we were apart. I am happy she has someone like you. I do, and I understand more than you know about your frustration with me. But I swear it's different this time. I was an idiot to have left, I should have fought back…please…help me get her back." Dylan pleaded.

Valerie looked at him, "You lost your god damn mind, did you hear anything I just said?"

"She know doesn't trust me, with good reason I know but I made a mistake, I want her back, I want to be with her not anyone else, I need her back."

Dylan took a deep breath glancing toward the bedroom, it was closed and Brenda wasn't coming out yet. He turned to look at Valerie, "Help me get her ring here from London."

Valerie stared at him and took a deep breath. The silence grew thick in that hotel room as Valerie tried to read him, was he for real this time? She didn't know…she was sure Brenda thought he was sure every time. "Are you sure what you want Dylan? I mean truly sure?"

"I have never been surer of anything in my entire life, I was always sure even if I didn't know it myself. I thought she didn't want me."

"And what makes you so sure she wants you now? That she even has the ring?" Valerie knew she did but she still didn't want to give in that easy. Dylan was a charmer; it was hard to stay mad at him. I think it's his eyes, Valerie thought.

Dylan looked down sadly again, he hadn't really thought about that. "I don't know for sure but I do know how much she loved it." He said quietly and then shrugged, "Would she have really gotten rid of it?" Dylan looked at Valerie intensely, there was such worry and love behind his eyes she felt bad. She hated that she did, but she couldn't help it.

Valerie sighed and after a long pause, "Alright Dylan…I'll talk to her but I am not going to force her or talk her into anything the only thing I can promise you is I wont talk you down, and…you should call Beth, she is taking in Brenda's mail and watering her plants while she is here. I have her number." Valerie walked over to her purse, took out her cell phone and began scrolling through her address book. She jotted the number on a piece of hotel paper and handed to him. "Just so you know, Beth is more of a bitch than me, so beware." She smirked at him.

Dylan gave her a nod and smiled lightly. He knew Beth, she had lived there when Dylan had.

Valerie sighed loudly disappointed in herself she had given in, "Damn you Dylan…you are a douche bag." she shook her head.

Dylan laughed, "So I've heard."

***

Brandon carried the mug of coffee down the hallway. He gently knocked and after getting instructed to enter, he opened the door slowly. Kelly lay in her dark room, blinds drawn. Her back was toward him and the small sound of sniffles could be heard, "Kel…sweetie…I brought you some coffee." Brandon made his way into her bedroom. He glanced down and made eye contact with her. He gave her a small smile and set the mug on her nightstand. With a deep breath and a sigh he lowered himself to her bed. His fingers caressed her arm to comfort her, "You feeling any better?" he tilted his head.

Kelly gave him a nod and peeled herself to a sitting position propping her pillows as she lay back on them. "Thanks Brandon." she looked to her lap. "Thank you for everything…it meant a lot that you stayed here last night with me."

Brandon looked down sadly, he would never admit it to her, but staying there and watching her cry over losing Dylan was torture for him. "I'm glad I could be here for you Kel."

Kelly's eyes met his and she gave him a small smile.

"Well…if its any conciliation, you do look better." Brandon said smiling back.

Kelly nodded her head again and looked down, "You know I am not mad at Brenda…not at all." she looked at him oddly, "Is that weird?"

Brandon shrugged, he had no idea, weird for Kelly and Brenda yes, weird in this situation probably. Brandon didn't really want to go there, he wasn't condoning what Brenda did, but after all she was his sister, someone that he was closer to than any one in the gang. The last three years she was his closest friend. He hadn't kept in touch with anyone except the guys…not even Kelly. He also knew that Brenda was still in love with Dylan, and love makes you do dumb things sometimes. He also was well aware of the power Dylan McKay had on the women in his life.

Kelly looked down again, "She did me a favor." Brandon sat quiet. "I knew…Dylan knew it wasn't working or ever going to for that matter but neither of us had the guts to say it." Kelly looked at Brandon again, his eyes were pained for some reason, they were sparkling and intense. "When I found out a bit of the history about Dylan and Brenda in London, I was upset, it bothered me that they were so serious and they had been engaged and it bothered me even more that Dylan never said anything but now… it's more of a relief. I am just grateful Brenda let Dylan's infidelity out of the bag before the day of the wedding or worse after. I expect loyalty from Dylan…but not Brenda. She doesn't owe me anything." Kelly looked down sadly, "I have never been a good friend to her and I haven't even tried to contact her in years. She must have thought I was such a bitch for even inviting her to the wedding in the first place."

Brandon took a deep breath, "It's a lose lose Kel…she would have been offended she wasn't invited like she was about David and Donna's wedding and she was hurt to know about it as well, so really it wasn't your fault." Brandon rested his hand on her knee, "I am proud of you though, whether it was easier this way or not, its not easy to hear, or to go through."

Kelly nodded slowly, "Can I tell you something?" she saw Brandon nod nicely, "I think it has a lot to do with you."

Brandon smirked, "Why?"

Kelly shyly shrugged, "I think about you a lot and constantly after you called about your RSVP." There was silence for several moments, "There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret ending things with you." Kelly looked down.

Brandon just looked at her, he gently took his finger and raised her chin, he thought about telling her he felt the same but then he did something that he knew was wrong. He leaned in and moved his lips gently to hers. He felt her exhale into his mouth and give into the kiss aggressively. He felt her hand move to his face and the back of his neck and he knew this was a very bad idea. Brandon gently stopped it by pushing her back slightly. He kept his head down, "I'm sorry Kelly." He whispered without looking at her. "I shouldn't have…"

"What?" she asked innocently, "You don't want to?" her voice sounded rejected and sad.

Brandon sighed looking at her, "No…it's not that…Kel…" Brandon stopped and took a deep breath, "You were engaged to someone else. I don't blame us splitting up on you or anything, it was definitely a mutual thing but…I don't want you back on the rebound…especially with Dylan."

Kelly bit the inside of her lip subtly trying to keep herself from crying; she understood but still felt rejected and alone. "But if…"

As if Brandon knew exactly what she was going to say he finished for her with a smirk, He set his hand on her cheek, "If the timing was better…we wouldn't be talking right now."

She gave him a small smile and looked down. "I still love you Brandon, I never stopped."

Brandon looked into her eyes, he searched them only to find the same thing he always had with her. Love, respect, friendship, he still loved her too. Before Brandon could answer or comment there was a light knock on the bedroom door. Both of them looked toward it as it slowly opened. There Dylan stood, his keys clinking in his hand. He wasn't surprised to find Brandon there.

"Kel…you got a minute?" he said with hesitation.

Kelly stared at him, as her heart felt as though it had dropped into her gut. She took a hesitate deep breath and looked at Brandon. They looked at each other briefly before Brandon gave her a smile, he gave her a respectful nod and got up making his way toward Dylan. He stared at him not sure exactly how he would take the glare. Brandon was angry with him, angry for treating his sister badly, angry for manipulating her into sex with him again, angry he had no respect for Kelly, a women he respected and loved more than anything. Also he felt torn, because after all was said and done, he cared for Dylan. He had considered him family, even after everything and for more than a few years he always thought one day he would actually be his brother. They past each other silently.

"Kelly call me later…I am going to get situated and checked into my hotel."

Kelly just nodded afraid of the upcoming conversation she was about to have. She wasn't sure if she was ready for it. Brandon slipped out and after they heard the back door close Dylan looked at Kelly meeting her stare. He slowly moved into the bedroom looking at anything but her eyes. This was going to be interesting.

_Eeek, next up, Valerie and Brenda chat at Breakfast. Dylan and Kelly well talk…or something. Lol Please review, its about to get better. Let me know you are still reading. I have so many stories going on right now and not enough time to update as much as I used to or like to. Reviews would most definitely get me working faster. Again with the bribery, well shit it works! Lol_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 If You'd Just Realize**

After several minutes of uncomfortable silence Kelly quickly got up, she stood with her back towards him as she ruffled through stuff on her desk.

"I don't know what you want to do…I can call the hotel, try to get some of your deposit back, same for the cater and florist…"

"Kel." Dylan tried to stop her.

"I am not sure about photographer and video guy…"

"Kel." he tried again.

"The DJ, limo, stuff like that wont be a problem..."

"Kelly!" Dylan raised his voice, "Stop…I don't care about money."

Kelly silenced herself as she stopped rummaging and looked down at her desk, still facing away from him.

"I'm sorry." Dylan said sincerely, "I didn't mean to hurt you…please believe that."

She was silent and it made Dylan nervous, at least if she was screaming at him, it would be better than the silence.

"I…feel like I need to explain to you…about Bren…about everything..."

"I don't want to hear it." She mumbled.

Dylan took a deep breath, "Well, you're going to have to listen because I don't want to keep it from you anymore." He looked at her, her back still facing him, maybe it was better that way. Dylan felt like a coward but knew he had to tell her.

"I'm in love with Brenda…I always have been. Being with her in London was a really happy time for me. I heard you and Brandon were getting married and part of me mistook my sadness about that for not being over you. I had no intention of going to the wedding; I had made plans to visit with my mom and Erica for her graduation and couldn't get a flight to Hawaii due to weather. They could get me as far west as California. I'm not going to lie to you, hearing you and Brandon were getting married stung a bit, so much that part of me needed to go, for closure maybe, to see you…I am not sure, I saw you and you looked beautiful, I also saw Brandon, I valued his friendship and loyalty and after seeing the two of you, it did give me some closure, enough that I didn't need to see it, so I left, went back to London and pretended I never went. I decided to not tell Brenda what I had did because it would have just upset her and in my mind, there was nothing to tell but then the night I returned I had found out that you and Brandon had called it off. Part of me wondered why, if it had anything to do with me or someone else but I put those feelings aside because it didn't matter. Brenda found out, and she _was_ upset like I had thought she would be, I think more at the fact I had kept it from her and the fact I didn't stay and after everything I had put her through in terms of us, she had had enough, she didn't let me explain or tell her anything, she kicked me out and left for her tour. I hung around for a week or so after, trying to call her, apologize to her, she wouldn't talk to me, she didn't return my calls so I left. At first I was angry with her, the fact she wouldn't hear me out, and just tossed our relationship out like it meant nothing pissed me off." Dylan sighed, "And then I saw you, I care about you Kelly, I do and part of me thought back then that maybe there was a reason why you and Brandon had falling apart, and why Brenda and I had as well."

Kelly turned around and folded her arms across her chest; she quickly wiped her eyes without making eye contact with him. Dylan continued as he took a step toward her, "I thought I knew what I wanted Kel…I tried hard in those two years to get you back and then when I did…you wanted more…I wasn't ready to get married, I wasn't ready for anything, I just knew I didn't want to be alone. I wanted her, I wanted to marry her, I should have told, I know I messed up and I knew I should have been honest with you. I wasn't over her and I was wrong about my feelings for you. I was wrong about everything."

Kelly looked up like she had been hit in the gut with the truth of his words, "You bet your ass you were wrong." She said bluntly. "Honestly Dylan, how long were you going to pretend with me? Would you have left me at the alter if you hadn't ran into Brenda? Would you have married me anyway thinking she wouldn't let you back in?" Kelly let out a sob, "You are such a selfish bastard, you are inconsiderate and unreliable and I knew that. I have always been second choice over her…I should have…I knew that." Finishing quietly. "And sadly, I didn't care; I didn't want to be alone either."

Dylan tilted his head in hopes of making up, maybe eventually after time, they could be friends again. He moved towards her.

"Don't." Kelly held out her hand to stop him.

"I am…sorry Kelly…I never wanted to hurt you like this."

"You didn't care…whether I agree or not with how things are between us, no matter if I feel the same way, you didn't have the guts to tell me and instead you slept her, you cheated on me…how long did it take Dylan? The night you supposedly got drunk and slept at your moms, was that the night? What was she in town for a few hours before you guys hopped in the sack together?"

"Kelly…"

"I want to know." She said seriously, "You at least owe me the truth."

Dylan took a deep breath, "Yeah…it was that night and no it didn't take long." He mumbled.

Kelly squeezed her eyes shut, "And last night…you went to her?" she asked sadly. After a second she shook her head, "Of course you did…I'm not stupid, I I take it you guys are getting back together?" Even though she knew splitting from Dylan was what she wanted also, that it wasn't meant to be, the fact it was Brenda and Dylan still hurt.

Dylan shook his head and replied, "I don't know what the future holds for Brenda and me, but I know what I want, I know I don't want to let her go, that I cant." He stopped as he saw her face. "It doesn't matter Kelly, come on…I saw you and Brandon, I know what's there. I don't understand why you are so surprised by this. He loves you more than I could ever. He gives you that comfort and reliability that you want. Honestly Kelly, we bring out the worst parts of ourselves and I know deep down we are better than that. All the sex and physical attraction in the world couldn't make me and you have what we had with them. I think…I just think its time we admitted it. We don't have to feel guilty anymore for the crap we did back when we were kids, part of me always thought that even after the first few months we started dating…it was mistake but we had made such a big spectacle and the triangle and picking you over Brenda, part of me felt guilty giving up after that. It just seemed wrong to give up a 2 year relationship with a girl that I had actually loved for a mistake." Dylan moved quickly resting his hands on the top of her arms pulling her back as she turned away, "You don't love me…not enough. We would be settling and you know it."

Kelly looked at him for a long time and giving in she finally agreed. She cried from the realness in it, she cried as she shut the door on Dylan forever, something she should have done years ago. She did love Brandon there was no question in her mind about that…and she knew he loved her too. After an emotional embrace they separated and Dylan began collecting his stuff. He realized that even after a year of being with Kelly, most of his stuff was still in boxes and bags, he had never even moved in. How he never had grasped that was beyond him, it was so obvious now. It was like subconsciously it was always temporary. He did feel bad for cheating and not being honest with Kelly but she helped him, gather his stuff and even though she was still mad at him deep inside and hurt, they both knew eventually they would become what they were before everything. They had known each other since they were kids and that did mean something. Now Dylan sole concentration had moved to Brenda, getting her back and proving to her that she was and will be all he ever wanted. That sadly was probably going to be a hell of a lot harder than facing Kelly.

***

Brenda and Valerie were seated quickly at the hotel café. As Brenda eyed her menu, Valerie stared at her. Brenda felt the glare but ignored her as the waitress came over.

"Can I start you ladies with something to drink?" she asked.

Brenda looked up at her with a smile, "I'll have coffee and orange juice." She answered finally looking at Valerie.

"Mimosa." Valerie smiled and looked at Brenda with her eyebrows raised.

The waitress carded her and as Valerie put her driver's license back into her purse she looked at Brenda once again. "Drinking at…10 in the morning?" Brenda said with a smirk. "And champagne no less, what are you celebrating?"

"Hey…it's 5'oclock somewhere and besides…I'm on vacation. Also…I am cerebrating actually."

The waitress brought over their drinks quickly and took their order, as the waitress left Valerie raised her glass; Brenda raised her juice with a curious expression. "To the fall of the Kelly and Dylan saga."

Brenda smirk faded as she lowered her glass, "Val…"

"Oh come on Brenda…it's a good thing, they were not good together...plus it leaves the door open for you."

Brenda looked down, she ignored the door open comment, "Did Dylan tell you what happened last night?" she said quietly.

Valerie took a small sip of her champagne and smiled, "No…just that it was over and he was going to move out his stuff."

"What else did he say?" she murmured curiously without making eye contact with her.

Valerie's smile widened, "Nothing…are you going to tell me why you're sleeping with Dylan?"

Brenda looked at her smiling face and did not match it, instead she took a deep breath, "I don't know why." She answered truthfully.

"Well…I do." Valerie answered bringing her flute to her lips again. "He is still in love with you Brenda…and you are in love with him too."

Brenda nodded slowly, "I know." She said quietly.

"So…what's the problem, isn't this what you wanted? You wanted him back right? Now you can have him."

"Its not that simple Val…just because I still love him doesn't mean I am going to forgive him for everything and forget about what happened."

"Brenda…come on be serious…your play ends what…in a couple days? You have to deal with this, you deserve to be happy."

Brenda's face was serious as she exhaled, "I know…that's my point, I do deserve it…I deserve to be happy and I deserve to move on with my life. No matter how much I love him, it doesn't change the past."

"So you are just going to leave then? Go back to London; move on with your life, never being with the person you are meant to be with?"

"That's my plan…and besides, what if I am not meant to be with Dylan. It's just the fact that I can't move on to meet my real meant to be because I am so hung up on him. Whatever I feel about him, I am going to keep in, I can't do this anymore."

Valerie took a deep breath and looked at the hurt in her friends eyes, "Bren…I don't think he is going to give up just like that. Without getting into details, he sounds serious about getting you back…not just making things right but…getting you back…forever." Valerie tried to explain without coming out and telling her he was planning on getting them back where they were, engagement and all.

She didn't get the hint, "Well I am sure we can work something out, I do miss him and a life without Dylan even as a friend is horrible. Maybe the next couple days will allow us to be able to talk through some stuff, work out the tension so we can at least be friends."

"Ah…I see." Valerie nodded; she wasn't going to continue with what she knew about Dylan. "Ok…well that makes sense, but does working the tension out include still having sex with him?"

The waitress came up and put the plates of food in front of them. Brenda looked up at her and smiled as the waitress set down their breakfast. Valerie kept her eyes on Brenda; she obviously wasn't going to finish with the conversation. Damn waitress ruined everything.

"Let me know if you ladies need anything else." The waitress said nicely and then left.

Brenda began eating but Valerie wasn't dropping it just yet, "So…the sex? Are you going to continue sleeping with him?"

Brenda forced her bite down set back a bit by Valerie's forwardness, why she hadn't a clue. Valerie was always forward, in everything she did.

"Uh…well…" Brenda was thinking of what exactly to say. Her answer should have been no, but should of was the main bump there.

"Brenda!" they heard from a far. "Yay." She squealed.

"Erica!" Brenda replied standing up and catching her in a tight hug.

She grunted tightening her embrace, "I missed you." She pulled out from her with a huge grin, "Iris told me you were here and I nearly peed myself." She looked down at the other brunette that sat smiling at her, "Holy fuck…Val." They embraced also.

With the commotion the waitress had approached and brought an extra chair for Erica, she ordered a mimosa also and something to eat.

"So…what are we talking about?" Erica said trying to get in on the conversation.

"Oh nothing." Replied Brenda.

"Actually…we were talking about sex."

"Nice…one of my favorite subjects." Erica smiled and leaned in, "So who's sex life are we talking about?" she eyed Brenda, then Valerie. The look on Brenda's face confirmed she wasn't going to get anything out of her.

"Brenda's actually." Valerie said with a smile as she lifted her flute again taking a sip.

"Val…shut up." Brenda whispered.

Erica frowned, "Who are you having sex with?"

Brenda shook her head and looked to her plate as she moved the hash browns about.

"Brenda here is having sex with…Dylan actually." Valerie said with pride. Brenda shot her a look.

Erica clapped her hands together, "Yay." She squealed again, "Wait…what about the wedding? Please tell me it's called off."

"You don't know?" Brenda said interested.

"No, I left last night on a red eye…I thought I was coming to L.A. for my brothers joke of a wedding, what happened? Are you guys getting back together, Oh man I knew when Iris told me you were here this was going to happen, she told me you were here."

Brenda shook her head as she listened to Valerie catch her up as much as she could, Brenda filled in the blanks, about the last couple of days, what happened at the After Dark and where she stood at this point.

Erica huffed in disappointment, "Bren." She whined she began, "I want you guys…" she stopped, she wanted to tell Brenda she wanted her and her brother to be together. She wanted Brenda as her sister and she had always thought they belonged together but she refrained. She understood Brenda's reasoning's and she knew first hand what a jack ass Dylan could be, it didn't mean she was happy about it. She looked at Brenda who really hadn't smiled at all since she had joined them at breakfast, she loved Brenda and she just wanted what was best for her. With that she shook her head letting it be known she wasn't going to continue, "So…Iris said you're in town doing a play, when is it and I want to come." Erica said with a tight smile.

Brenda looked up, her stare drifted between her two best friends, "I can get you guys tickets, tonight 7 o'clock." she gave them a smile and tried not to think about leaving again, without Dylan.

"Good…that sounds fun, get one for Iris too." Erica took a sip of her champagne, "And we will go out drinking after…a girls night." Erica said happily.

"Oh…yeah, I would love to go to the After Dark, I haven't been there in years." Valerie said with a nod.

Brenda shook her head quickly, "No…no way…I am not going back there."

"Why" Valerie and Erica said at the same time.

"Umm…Kelly…cat fight…not interested…"

"Oh let her just try, come on give me a break…it will be fun and besides you have us and you and I both know…there is nothing I enjoy more than fighting with Kelly Taylor." Valerie smiled wide finishing off her drink. Erica laughed at her and Brenda just shook her head, she didn't want to face any of them, she was embarrassed.

Brenda felt the tears begging for release at her eyes, she excused herself quickly without giving herself away. She retreated to the ladies room and silently thanked god it was empty. She closed herself in the stall, lowering the toilet seat and dropping down to it quickly. She let them go, it had been awhile since she cried over Dylan like this and with Erica here and Valerie, the looks they were giving her, especially Erica. Brenda knew what she was thinking, pretending she was alright with her decision wasn't fooling her. She let go and she didn't care.

Erica eyes Valerie closely as she watched her take another sip from her refilled mimosa. "So what are we going to do?" Erica said with a serious face. "If my brother wants her back and is intending to try to get her back with her ring…then we have to help him."

"Oh no…no no." Valerie shook her head, "I am not getting involved."

"Val?" Erica looked heartbroken, "They belong together."

"Maybe they do…maybe they don't…but Brenda is my best friend and if she wants nothing to do with Dylan but friendship then I respect that."

"Are you agreeing with her?" Erica's pleaded with her.

"No…I am not saying that but she is going to have to deal with your brother herself, Dylan deserves a little hard work in this situation. I'm sorry but he was asshole."

Erica took a deep breath, "I know. I just don't want her to make a mistake. Maybe it wasn't their time before, maybe its now and what if they miss it again?"

Valerie lifted her drink, "There isn't anything we can do."

Erica exhaled again picking up her flute and taking a much needed sip of champagne. She wasn't going to sit back and let Brenda and Dylan lose each other again. She didn't need Valerie's help, she just how to figure out what to do. She needed a plan.

_Alrighty peeps, so how was the DK chat? Fine? I think some of you will probably get now where I might be going with this story in terms of BD, obviously Brenda isn't going to just jump back in to anything with Dylan. There will be some surprises though and don't forget Dylan has tickets to her show this night along with everyone else. Tell me what your thinking or what you think should happen._


End file.
